Joke #13813

My mother in law was complaining about her dentures to me. She told: "Whenever I get overweight it'll be a stench; when I make myself thin it would be stretched; when something squeezes in it then I 'll faint from enjoyment!"
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has 67.46 % from 90 votes. More jokes about: fat, mean, mother in law

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So David Is finally engaged, and is excited to show off his new bride. "Ma", he said to his Mother, "I'm going to bring home three girls and I want you to guess which one is my fiance." Sure enough twenty minutes later, David walks in the door with three girls following behind him. "It's that one", said his mother, without blinking an eye. "Holy cow", exclaimed David, "how in the world did you know it was her?" "I just don't like her", she replied.
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has 82.37 % from 158 votes. More jokes about: family, mean, mother in law, wedding
Q: What is a difference between "accident " and "tragedy"? A: Suppose you with the family are beside a pool. You suddenly push your mother in law into the pool - so it's an accident. If she could swim and gets out, in that case, it's a tragedy!
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has 82.06 % from 238 votes. More jokes about: family, life, mean, mother in law
My wife told me, "Don't get upset if someone calls you fat." "You're much bigger than that."
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My ex-wife is so thick, that it is for me, when we meet sometimes, easier to jump her over than to go around her.
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has 65.14 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: fat, insulting, mean, wife, women
Single and ready to get nervous around anyone I find attractive.
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Yo momma so skinny she looks like a mic stand.
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Q: Why do fat, ugly women give the best blow jobs? A: Because they have to!
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has 36.37 % from 65 votes. More jokes about: fat, mean, sex, women
If you need to break up with somebody, the best place to do so is McDonalds. There are no plates or glasses to be broken over your head, no sharp knives or spiky forks, plus you can always hide behind a fat kid.
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has 76.45 % from 107 votes. More jokes about: business, fat, food, kids, relationship
Jim asked his friend, Tony, whether he had bought his wife anything for Valentine's Day. "Yes," came the answer from Tony who was a bit of a chauvinist, "I've bought her a belt and a bag." "That was very kind of you," Jim added, 'I hope she appreciated the thought." Tony smiled as he replied, "So do I, and hopefully the vacuum cleaner will work better now."
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has 78.03 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: friendship, mean, Valentines day, wife, work
Office executive "Sir, can I have a day off next week to visit my mother-in-law?" Boss "Certainly not!" Office executive "Thank you so much sir! I knew you would be understanding."
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has 82.99 % from 164 votes. More jokes about: management, mother in law, office