If you are ill, so lie down and you'll walk it sooner loose.
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Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer.
Too bad he has never cried.
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I gave up my seat to a blind person in the bus.
That is how I lost my job as a bus driver.
A study showed the leading causes of death in the United States are:
1. Heart disease
2. Chuck Norris
3. Cancer
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A man went to visit his doctor.
“Doc, my arm hurts bad. Can you check it out please?” the man pleads.
The doctor rolls up the man’s sleeve and suddenly hears the arm talk.
“Hello, Doctor, says the arm. “Could you lend me twenty bucks please? I’m desperate!”
“Aha!" says the doctor, "I see the problem. Your arm is broke!”
Q: How can you tell when a blonde rejects a new brain transplant?
A: She sneezes.
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Phone a friend and tell them you're a doctor, and you're very, very sorry, but you did everything you could to save their... then pretend that the connection dropped out.
Wait a couple beats, then give your deepest condolences.
Then hang up.
If Chuck Norris had to he could give CPR to himself.
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Chuck Norris doesn't need health care, everyone in his viewing range does.
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Obama's health care plan won't cover injuries caused by a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick to the face.
Nobody would survive anyway.
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