If you are ill, so lie down and you'll walk it sooner loose.
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What do you get when you cross Billy Ray Cyrus with a yeast infection?
An itchy, twitchy twat!
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A kid once tried to scare Chuck Norris on Halloween... sadly he has had the hiccups now for 40 years.
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Patient to friend: "I saw the doctor to day about my loss of memory."
Friend: "What did he do?"
Patient: "He made me pay him in advance."
Q: Why is it that so many lawyers have broken noses?
A: From chasing parked ambulances.
A woman comes up to me and says, "Hey sexy you lost 185 lbs and now you have money."
"You wanna be my sugar daddy?"
"Nope I'm diabetic!"
Benefits of having Alzheimer's:
You can wrap your own presents.
You are always meeting new friends.
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Every phobia known to man has a phobia of Chuck Norris.
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Breaking news: A man was admitted to the hospital today with 23 plastic toy horses inserted in his rectum.
Doctors have described his condition as stable.
The best thing about Alzheimer's Disease is that you get to meet so many new people.
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