Joke #1387

A business man called and had a question about the documents he needed in order to fly to China. After a lengthy discussion about passports, I reminded him he needed a visa. "Oh no I don't, I've been to China many times and never had to have one of those." I double checked, and sure enough, his stay required a visa. When I told him this he said, "Look, I've been to China four times and every time they have accepted my American Express."
Vote:
has 28.11 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: money

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

Q: How do pirates make their money? A: By hook or by crook!
Vote:
has 63.00 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: money, pirate
A doctor is talking to a car mechanic, "Your fee is several times more per hour then we get paid for medical care." "Yeah, but you see, doc, you have always the same model, it hasn't changed since Adam; but we have to keep up to date with new models coming every month."
Vote:
has 59.75 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: doctor, mechanic, medical, money
Where do bees keep their money? In a honey box.
Vote:
has 21.41 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: money
Why does ET have such big eyes? He saw the phone bill.
Vote:
has 51.67 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: money
A man was telling his neighbor, “I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand dollars, but it’s state of the art. It’s perfect.” “Really,” answered the neighbor. “What kind is it?” “Twelve thirty.”
Vote:
has 55.71 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: money, old people, time
A thief stuck a pistol in a man's ribs and said, "Give me your money." The gentleman, shocked by the sudden attack, said, "You cannot do this, I'm a congressman!" The thief replied, "In that case, give me MY money!"
Vote:
has 78.53 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: money, political
Three men were drunk and they stopped a taxi. The taxi driver figured that they were not in their minds so, he just switched on the engine and switched it off and told them: "we have arrived". The first man gave him money. The second one thanked the taxi driver. The third one slapped him (the taxi driver). The taxi driver was stunned because he was hoping that none of them had realized that the car didn't move an inch, but he faked surprise and asked the third man: "what was that for?". The drunken man replied: "control your speed next time! you nearly killed us!!!"
Vote:
has 72.49 % from 95 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, car, money
The bartender asks the guy sitting at the bar, “What’ll you have?” The guy answers, “A scotch, please.” The bartender hands him the drink, and says “That’ll be five dollars.” To which the guy replies, “What are you talking about? I don’t owe you anything for this.” A lawyer, sitting nearby and overhearing the conversation, then says to the bartender, “You know, he’s got you there. In the original offer, which constitutes a binding contract upon acceptance, there was no stipulation of remuneration.” The bartender was not impressed, but says to the guy, “Okay, you beat me for a drink. But don’t ever let me catch you in here again.” The next day, same guy walks into the bar. Bartender says, “What the heck are you doing in here? I can’t believe you’ve got the audacity to come back!” The guy says, “What are you talking about? I’ve never been in this place in my life!” The bartender replies, “I’m very sorry, but this is uncanny. You must have a double.” To which the guy replies, “Thank you. Make it a scotch.”
Vote:
has 74.83 % from 62 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, bartender, lawyer, money
After 40 years of hard work, a man retired with $5,000,000.00 which he had gained through courage, diligence, initiative, skill, devotion to duty, thrift, efficiency, shrewd investment. And the death of an uncle who left him $4,999,999.50.
Vote:
has 82.95 % from 143 votes. More jokes about: death, family, money, time, work
Yo' Mama is so poor, she steals her breakfast from backyard bird feeders.
Vote:
has 57.36 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: bird, insulting, money, Yo mama