Q: Why don't kleptomaniacs get puns?
A: Because they take things. Literally.
Vote:
Similar jokes
See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.
Q: What happened to Jesus when he said "Catch me outside, how bout dat"?
A: He got crucified
Vote:
A daughter wakes up at 3 a.m. and asks her mother:
"Mummy, tell me a fairy-tale."
"Daddy will get back soon and he will tell both of us a fairy tale..."
Vote:
Q: What is the difference between frustration and satisfaction?
A: What the Fuck! and What a Fuck!
Vote:
Q: What did the nurse say when she found a rectal thermometer in her pocket?
A: "Some asshole has my pen!"
Vote:
Q: Know why skeletons are so calm?
A: Because nothing gets under their skin.
Vote:
Teacher: "Who knows what is a difference between a snowman and snowwoman?"
Little Johnny: "Three snowballs!"
Vote:
Joke has 73.41 % from 171 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, little Johnny, teacher, winter
Phil, a smart and handsome young man, dressed in the latest fashion, walked into this local pub.
He noticed a woman gazing at him without blinking her big eyes.
Phil felt flattered so he walked up to the woman and said in his deepest voice, "I'll do anything you wish, beautiful lady, for just £10 but on one condition."
"The woman appeared to be trapped in the moment and asked as if in a trance,'What's your condition?"
Phil answered, "Tell me your wish in just three words."
There was a long pause, the woman opened her purse, counted out the money and handed it to the man along with her address.
She then looked deeply into his eyes and whispered, "Clean my house."
Vote:
I was drinking my coffee in a coffeehouse when a beautiful girl came near my table and asked me:
"Are you alone?"
So I responded: "It's a long time that I'm alone."
"So do you mind me to take this chair?" said the girl.
I fainted...
Vote:
Johny visits the psychiatrist and tells him: "Lately I have a big problem with my memory."
The psychiatrist asks Johny: "And how does it demonstrate concretely?"
Johny: "What?"
Vote:
My aunt died, God bless her, at a ripe old age of 104.
We called her Aunt Tique.
Vote:
