The four most beautiful words in our common language: I told you so.
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Q: What do you call a dictionary on drugs?
A: HIGH-Definition.
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They say sex is a killer...
Do you want to die happy?
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When Chuck Norris talks, everybody listens.
And dies.
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Q: Do you know what a Mexican motorcycle sounds like?
A: Cavrone puta puta puta.
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Once upon a time, my wife and I were in the local restaurant.
We have talked to each other, but after a while, I have become quiet and then I started to talk, I have said: "you know, I love you so much, I will never leave you, never, ever, every single day I think only of you, we will be always together."
My wife has asked me: "Oh, darling, these words were addressed to me?"
I have said only: "Oh, no, sorry, darling, this time I am talking to this bottle of beer."
Q: What did the valentines day card say to the stamp?
A: Stick with me and you'll go places.
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Client: "Please remove the unnecessary circle at the end of the sentence."
Me: "You mean... the period?"
Client: "I don't care what you designers call it; it is unsightly. Delete it."
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Q: What goes "oom... oom"?
A: A cow walking backward!
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Can you repeat this sentence 3 times without stammering?
3 witches watch 3 Swatch watches; which witch watches which Swatch watches?
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A daughter wakes up at 3 a.m. and asks her mother:
"Mummy, tell me a fairy-tale."
"Daddy will get back soon and he will tell both of us a fairy tale..."
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