Q: What is fast and crunchy?
A: A rocket chip.
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Mom! I'm a 3D printer!
Oh come on, Tommy, close the door when you poop.
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What We Learn From the Movies:
It is always possible to park directly in front of any building you are visiting.
A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.
If you start dancing in the street, everyone you bump into will know all the steps.
Most laptops are powerful enough to override the communication systems of any invading alien civilization.
It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts, your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one, dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors.
After a person suffers a massive blow to the head, they will still be surprisingly good looking.
No one involved in a car chase, hijacking, explosion, volcanic eruption or alien invasion will ever go into shock.
Partnering police officers with their total opposites will always, eventually, lead to buddy teams who share unbreakable bonds and gruff affection.
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Q: What will my computer printer warranty cover?
A: Your mouse pad.
A guy tells his friends:
The girl I was dating broke my heart, so I broke her Apple iPhone 5. You all know who cried more
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SWISS ARMY KNIFE -- male, because even though it appears useful for a wide variety of work, it spends most of its time just opening bottles.
KIDNEYS -- female, because they always go to the bathroom in pairs.
TIRE -- male, because it goes bald and is often over-inflated.
HOT AIR BALLOON: male, because to get it to go anywhere, you have to light a fire under it . . . and, of course, there's the hot air part.
SPONGES -- female, because they are soft and squeezable and retain water.
WEB PAGE -- female, because it is always getting hit on.
SHOE -- male, because it is usually unpolished, with its tongue hanging out.
COPIER -- female, because once turned off, it takes a while to warm up -- because it is an effective reproductive device when the right buttons are pushed -- because it can wreak havoc when the wrong buttons are pushed.
ZIPLOC BAGS -- male, because they hold everything in, but you can always see right through them.
SUBWAY -- male, because it uses the same old lines to pick people up.
HAMMER -- male, because it hasn't evolved much over the last 5,000 years, but it's handy to have around.
REMOTE CONTROL -- Definitely female, because it gives men pleasure; he'd be lost without it, and while he doesn't always know the right buttons to push, he keeps trying.
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Q: How do you fix a broken website?
A: With stick e-tape.
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Q: How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?
A: We can see no need for uninstallation and have therefore made no provision for light bulbs to be removed.
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Chuck Norris doesn't use web standards as the web will conform to him.
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Joke has 44.67 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, coding, computer, internet, technology
Q: What has a key but no lock and has space but no room?
A: A computer?
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Chuck Norris can play a PS3 with a Super Nintendo controller, and it works!
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