Joke #14030

Q: What is fast and crunchy? A: A rocket chip.

I just love to do special things for my wife on Valentine's day. Like open the door for her when she puts all the laundry in the washing machine, or plug and unplug the vacuum as she moves from room to room cleaning. Guys, it's these little thoughtful things you can do to have a marriage such as mine.

Roses are red, violets are blue. Pornhub is Down, your mums Facebook will do.

Someone figured out my password. Now I have to rename my dog.

Q: Where's Spiderman's home page? A: On the world wide web.

Chuck Norris doesn't use web standards as the web will conform to him.

As a member of the organization that installs computer systems aboard Navy ships, I am mindful of how important the off-ship e-mail capabilities are to sailor morale, especially when some vessels are deployed for up to six months. One day while shopping at the base commissary, I noticed another crucial aspect of my job. I was behind a frazzled mother with two active children, and as I watched, she stalked over to where her young son had perched himself on the rail of the freezer case. "If you don't get off there right now," she commanded, "I'm going to e-mail your father!"

Q: How do you know when an Asian robs your house? A: Your technology has been upgraded, your homework is finished, but he's still trying to back out of your drive way.

If the box says: "This software requires Windows XP or better" Does that mean it'LL run on Linux?

When the office printer color started to look a little off the manager called the local repair shop. To the manager's surprise, the clerk said that it would cost $50 but that he might try reading the manual and doing it himself. The manager replied in astonishment, does your boss know that you discourage business that way? "Yes", replied the clerk. It was his idea. We make more on repairs than cleaning printers if the owner tries to do it himself first.

Q: What do builders use to make websites? A: Com.crete.