Q: What is fast and crunchy?
A: A rocket chip.
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Me using the Siri app on my iPhone:
Me: "Siri, call my wife."
Siri: "Samantha McLaughlin is not in your contacts."
Me: "Samantha Gibbs is my wife."
Siri: "I've added Samantha Gibbs as your wife."
Me: "Call my wife."
Siri: "Which wife?"
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When our air conditioner broke down, we called for a serviceman to come and take a look at it.
It turned out to be a high school classmate of my husband's named Love.
He said next time we needed any repairs to ask for him.
The next year when we needed service again, we requested Mr. Love.
I took the day off from work and waited for him to arrive.
After he had worked on our air conditioner, he left his work order behind.
It had my name and said: "Wants Love in afternoon."
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"Why do you keep going back to that fishing website?"
"I can't help it, I'm hooked."
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Your mom so dumb she went to the dentist to get a Bluetooth.
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Q: What does an SEO and part-time chiropractor work on?
A: Your bad backlinks.
I just love to do special things for my wife on Valentine's day.
Like open the door for her when she puts all the laundry in the washing machine, or plug and unplug the vacuum as she moves from room to room cleaning.
Guys, it's these little thoughtful things you can do to have a marriage such as mine.
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Yo mama so stupid that when she turned on airplane mode...
She thought she could fly.
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Chuck Norris Streams Netflix on his VCR.
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What do you do if you see your TV floating?
Say " DROP IT NIGGA".
What do you do if you see you refridgerator floating?
Run because that is one hell of a big black guy!
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A failure in a device will never appear until it has passed final inspection.
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