Knock, knock;
Who is there?
Love;
Love who?
U, U, U!
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Knock knock.
Who's there?
Kenya.
Kenya who?
Keeeenya feeel the loooove tonight?
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Peter approaches the gates of Heaven.
"Knock knock," says Peter.
Miraculously, someone answers him.
"Who's there," a voice in the distance asked.
"God," says Peter.
"God who," asked the voice?
"GOD DAMMIT open these gates!
I've been a good neighbor, loved my wife and lost my virginity, twice!"
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The travelin' Texan picked up a sweet young thang in a bar and after several rounds, ordered the biggest steaks they had.
Later, they retired to his room, naturally the largest in the hotel.
As they undressed, he said, "I'm from Fort Worth, Texas, and we have the biggest of everything."
The girl only nodded and smiled.
As they began to make love, he exclaimed, "Golleeeee, lil' Lady! What part of Texas y'all from?"
My great grandson's class were asked to make a mothers day card for their mothers.
On mothers day he presented this beautiful hand made a card to his mum...
Hearts and kisses and wishing her Happy Mums Day on opening the card printed in bold letters was "DADS THE BEST"...
Needless to say, his mum still loves him.
Knock Knock!
Who's there?
Testicules.
Testicules who?
Pillow for penis .
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A young man wanted to purchase a gift for his new sweetie for Valentine's Day.
As they had not been dating very long, it was a very difficult decision.
After careful consideration, he decided a good gift would be a pair of gloves.
Accompanied by his sister, he went to the store and bought the gloves.
His sister purchased a pair of panties at the same time.
The clerk carefully wrapped both items but in the process got them mixed up.
The sister was handed the gloves and the young man got the panties.
The young man mailed his Valentine's Day gift with the following note:
"This special Valentines Day gift was chosen because I noticed you are in the habit of not wearing any when we go out in the evenings. If it had not been for my sister, I would have chosen the ones with buttons, but she prefers short ones that are much easier to remove.
These are a lovely shade, the lady I bought them from showed me the pair she had been wearing for the past three weeks and they were hardly soiled. I had her try yours on for me and they looked quite lovely."
I wish I was there to put them on you for the first time; no doubt, other hands will come into contact with them before I have a chance to see you again."
When you take them off, remember to blow on them lightly before putting them away as they will naturally be a little damp from wearing.
Just think how many times I'll be kissing them in the future. I hope you'll wear them Friday night for me."
Love, Cuddle Bear
PS: The sales lady says the latest style is to wear them folded down with just a little fur showing.
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Joke has 84.71 % from 113 votes. More jokes about: customer service, family, love, time, Valentines day
They say the surest way to a man's heart is through the stomach.
But personally, I find going through the ribcage a lot easier.
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
I'm Mr, Farter.
Mr, Farter who?
I've brought some insecticides to give to your mother in law!
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Knock knock!
Who's there?
Yah!
Yah who?
Naaah, bro, I prefer google.
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