Joke #14101

Knock-knock. Who is there? Stopwatch. Stopwatch who? Stopwatch you're doing and have a happy Valentines Day!
Vote:
has 28.86 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: knock-knock, Valentines day, work

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

Jim asked his friend, Tony, whether he had bought his wife anything for Valentine's Day. "Yes," came the answer from Tony who was a bit of a chauvinist, "I've bought her a belt and a bag." "That was very kind of you," Jim added, 'I hope she appreciated the thought." Tony smiled as he replied, "So do I, and hopefully the vacuum cleaner will work better now."
Vote:
has 70.84 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: friendship, mean, Valentines day, wife, work
A boyfriend asks his girlfriend: "What gift would you like to receive during the St. Valentine's Day?" "Well, I don't know" she answers shyly. "OK, that I give you another year to think about it…"
Vote:
has 67.10 % from 50 votes. More jokes about: men, relationship, time, Valentines day
Knock, knock! Who's there? Spell. Spell who? W-H-O.
Vote:
has 69.16 % from 239 votes. More jokes about: communication, knock-knock
Knock, knock; Who is there? Love; Love who? U, U, U!
Vote:
has 79.67 % from 394 votes. More jokes about: knock-knock, love
A young woman was taking an afternoon nap. After she woke up, she told her husband, "I just dreamed that you gave me a pearl necklace for Valentine's Day. "What do you think it means?" "You'll know tonight," he said. That evening, the man came home with a small package and gave it to his wife. Delighted, she opened it, only to find a book entitled "The Meaning of Dreams."
Vote:
has 58.95 % from 284 votes. More jokes about: marriage, romantic, Valentines day
A mugger stops a guy on the street at gunpoint. "Give me all your money", he says. The muggee isindignant. "You can't do this," he yells. "I'm anIRS agent." "In that case," says the mugger, "give me all MY money."
Vote:
has 74.94 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: accountant, money, work
Knock, Knock! Who's there? Doctor Doctor who? That's a great TV show, isn't it?
Vote:
has 39.38 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: doctor, knock-knock
Little Melissa comes home from first grade and tells her father that they learned about the history of Valentine's Day. "Since Valentine's Day is a Christian saint and we're Jewish," she asks, "will God get mad at me for giving someone a valentine?" Melissa's father thinks a bit, then says, "No, I don't think God would get mad. Who do you want to give a valentine to?" "Osama Bin Laden," she says. "Why Osama Bin Laden?" her father asks in shock. "Well," she says, "I thought that if a little American Jewish girl could have enough love to give Osama a valentine, he might start to think that maybe we're not all bad, and maybe start loving people a little bit. And if other kids saw what I did and sent valentines to Osama, he'd love everyone a lot. And then he'd start going all over the place to tell everyone how much he loved them and how he didn't hate anyone anymore." Her father's heart swells and he looks at his daughter with pride. "Melissa, that's the most wonderful thing I've ever heard." "I know," Melissa says, "and once that gets him out in the open, the Marines could blow the crap out of him."
Vote:
has 68.83 % from 72 votes. More jokes about: black humor, love, navy, religious, Valentines day
Knock Knock! Who's there? Justin Justin who? Justin time for dinner!
Vote:
has 63.84 % from 133 votes. More jokes about: kids, knock-knock
Q: What do squirrels give for Valentine's Day? A: Forget-me-nuts.
Vote:
has 57.16 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: animal, Valentines day