Joke #1407

Another name for a vagina is a cockpit
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has 44.57 % from 142 votes. More jokes about: disgusting

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A young priest is unhappy with how little money his congregation contributes every week to the collection plate. So decides to try a new tack and hypnotize them, using Father Matthews' priceless pocket watch. Thus hypnotized, they all give the five bucks he asked them too. Pumped by his success, he ups the amount to $10 the next week. Amazingly, everybody gives ten bucks each. The week after that, he decides to up it to twenty bucks, but just as he's about to announce the amount, he drops the watch. "S**t!" It took the workers two weeks to clean up the church.
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has 76.01 % from 55 votes. More jokes about: church, disgusting, money, priest
If I wanted some comeback, I'd wipe it off your chin!
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has 56.86 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: disgusting
Your fart's so loud, astronauts in space mistook your fart for a message from Houston!
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has 33.50 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, fart
How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall red? Depends how hard you throw them.
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has 62.04 % from 218 votes. More jokes about: dead baby, disgusting
A young man and a young woman were soon to be married, but they both had a problem they had never told anyone else about. The man approached his father one day before the wedding and told him about his problem. His feet REALLY stunk, even if he washed them constantly, he was worried that this would scare off his new bride, so he needed a solution, fast. His father pondered the situation and finally told his son to wear socks constantly (even to bed) and always wash his feet whenever he got a chance. The son thought about this and went along happy. The same day the young lady approached her mother and told her about her problem. Her morning breath was horrid. Her mother reassured her and told her everyone had bad morning breath. The young woman told her mother that this was not normal morning breath but easily the worst in the world. The mother thinks about this and comes up with this bright idea. She tells her daughter to get up earlier than everyone else and don't say a thing, go make breakfast and then brush her teeth while the others are eating. The young woman thinks and then runs off to get ready for the wedding, happy. The couple is married and they are happy, him with his perpetual socks and her with her morning silences. One morning about 5:30 am the young man wakes up to find one sock missing. He starts rustling around in the bed looking for it, which of course wakes up his wife, who without thinking asks what's wrong. With a look of shock on his face the young man says, "OH MY GOD! You've swallowed my sock!"
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has 62.44 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, food, marriage, wedding, wife
Question: If you went to a party and woke up with a condom in your ass would you tell anyone? Answer: No! Response: Wanna go to a party?
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has 58.51 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, party, sex
Once there was a little boy in church. He had to go to the bathroom so he told his mother, "Mommy, I have to piss." The mother said, "Son don't say piss in church. Next time you have to piss, say, 'whisper' because it is more polite." The next Sunday, the litle boy was sitting by his father this time, and once again, he had to go to the bathroom. He told his father, "Daddy I have to whisper." The father said, "OK. Here, whisper in my ear."
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has 80.81 % from 228 votes. More jokes about: church, dad, disgusting
Q: Who is brave? A: He who has diarrhea and wants to fart!
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has 85.59 % from 830 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, fart, health
How do you make a woman scream twice in the bedroom? Fuck her in the ass then wipe your dick on the curtains.
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has 52.38 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: dirty, disgusting, sex, women
Two sperms. The first one asked the second "How much time we need to reach the womb?" The second one answered "To much time left... We are in the stomach now."
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has 61.59 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: dirty, disgusting, sex, time