Another name for a vagina is a cockpit
Q: What happened to the Native American who drank too much tea? A: He drowned in his own tea pe
Q: Why did the referee stop the leper hockey game? A: There was a face-off in the corner.
If you have a grief nobody feels, If you have a pain nobody feels. If your heart is broken nobody feels, but if you fart all will understand.
One day a guy and a girl were making out in her parents' bedroom, and it was getting pretty steamy. All of a sudden, the guy takes out his shlong and places it in her hand. She screams and runs downstairs, through the kitchen, through the living room, the bathroom, the dining room, back upstairs, through her bedroom, her bathroom, her sister's bedroom, down the hall and back into her parents' bedroom. "Listen, pal! I have two words for you -- DROP DEAD!" "I have two words for you -- LET GO!"
Mommy, mommy, I don't want to visit grandma today! "Shut up and keep digging, boy."
Q: What does a plumber need to know about his job? A: Sh*t runs downhill and payday is on Friday.
How many dead babies can fit in a barrel? 4 1/2.
How do you know if Dr. Dre has a high sperm count? Eminem has to chew before swallowing.
A guy says, "Doc, you gotta help me. Every time I fart, it sounds like, "Honda." The doctor says, "You say, 'Honda?'" "No," the guy says. "My farts do." So, the doctor says, "OK, open your mouth," and looks inside. After about two minutes, the doctor says, "I'm sorry, I can't help you, you need to go see a dentist." The guy says, "Why a dentist?" The doctor says, "Because you have an absessed tooth." The guy says, "What the hell does that have to do with my condition?" The doctor says, "Well, didn't you know? Absess makes the farts go Honda!"