Another name for a vagina is a cockpit
Q: What is the difference between an oral and rectal thermometer? A: The taste
What went through the fly's mind as he hit the windshield? His Butt!
A man working with an electric saw accidentally saws off all 10 fingers. He rushes to the emergency room. The doctor says, "Give me the fingers and I'll see what I can do." "But I don't have the fingers!" "Why didn't you bring the fingers?!" asks the incredulous doctor. "Doc, I couldn't pick them up."
To the tune of "Walking in a Winter Wonderland": Dog tags ring, are you listening'? In the lane, snow is glistening. It's yellow, not white I've been there tonight, Marking up my winter wonderland. Smell that tree? That's my fragrance. It's a sign for wandering vagrants; "Avoid where I pee, it's my property. Marked up as my winter wonderland." In the meadow dad will build a snowman, following the classical design. Then I'll lift my leg and let it go, man, So all the world will know it's mine-mine-mine! Straight from me to the fence post, flows my natural incense boast, "Stay off of my turf, this small piece of earth, I mark it as my winter wonderland."
Two girls take a walk on a hot summer day. They see an old lady sitting in front of her house eating watermelon. They notice she isn't wearing any panties. "Is it cooler without panties?" they ask. She says, "I don't know if it's cooler, but it sure keeps the flies off the watermelon."
What did Obi Wan say when Luke was constipated? "Use the F-O-R-C-E Luke!"
Why should you only put 239 beans in bean soup? Cuz one more will make it "too farty!"
Did you here about the man that died from eating Rocky Mountain Oysters? The bull must have drug him a mile!
Q: Why do you put babies into a blender feet first? A: So you can see the look in their eyes when you turn it on!
Q: What do women and cats have in common? A: Pussy farts.