Joke #1407

Another name for a vagina is a cockpit

Q: Did you hear about the new movie "Constipation?" A: It hasn't come out yet.

A ship with 30 sailors and one woman strands on a desert island. After one month the woman says: "I can not proceed in this way." And she suicides herself. After another month, the sailors say: "We can not proceed in this way." And they bury the woman. The next month, the sailors say: "We can not proceed in this way." And they dig up the woman.

What did the lesbian vampire say to the other lesbian vampire? See ya next month.

Imagine, there are on the bus only 5 persons: A busman, an old woman, two younger women and one man. The old woman comes to the busman and tells him: "Dear busman, would you like to eat a few hazelnuts?" The busman says: "Yes, why not?" He takes the hazelnuts from her hand and eats them. This repeats even two times, but when the old woman offers other hazelnuts to the busman for the fourth time, the busman asks this old woman: "Madame, where do you take all these hazelnuts from? It is a real amount and I am already full." The old woman only says: "You know, dear busman, I have bought the chocolate with hazelnuts, the hazelnuts are very hard for my dental plate, so I have sucked them all out, brought it to you and you have already eaten them all."

There was a vampire who walked into a vampire bar and asked the bartender for a glass of hot water. The bartender asked what for, because everyone else was drinking blood. The vampire pulled out a bloody tampon and said "TEA TIME!"

What's the difference between a baby and a grandmother? Grandmothers don't die when you fuck them up the ass.

How do you make stew out of a leper? Put him in a Jacuzzi and turn it on full.

What is the definition of revenge? A baby with a dog in its mouth.

Q: Why did the gay man get fired from his job at the sperm bank? A: Drinking on the job.

When you're neckin' with yer honey And your nose is kinda runny You might think it's funny... But it's not.