Q: What's grosser than gross?
A: Two vampires fighting over a used tampon. 
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Q: What do you get if you cross a bear with a toilet?
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A: A redhead with a yeast infection.
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What’s harder to do than nailing a baby to a tree?
Nailing it to a dead puppy.
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When you're neckin' with yer honey
And your nose is kinda runny
You might think it's funny...
But it's not.
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Q: Why does a dog lick himself?
A: He can't make a fist.
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An Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman are wandering through the desert, hungry and hallucinating, when they come upon a rotting, dead camel.
"Well," said the Englishman, "I support the Liverpool football club, so I'll eat the liver."
"I support the Hearts club," said the Scotsman, "so I'll eat the heart."
"I support Arsenal," said the Irishman, "but I seem to have lost my appetite."
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How do you f*ck a fat chick?
Roll her in flour and find the wet spot.
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Dr. Dave had sex with one of his patients and felt guilty all day long.
No matter how much he tried to forget about it he just couldn't.
The guilt was overwhelming.
But every once in a while he would hear in internal, reassuring voice in his head that said: "Dave don't worry about it. You aren't the first medical practitioner to have sex with one of his patients and you won't be the last. Just let It go Dave."
But invariably another voice in his head would bring him back to reality whispering: "Dave... Daaaave... you're a veterinarian you sick bastard!"
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Friend 1: "I like my women how I like my milk."
Friend 2: "What? White?"
Friend 1: "No, expired."
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Joke has 52.09 % from 80 votes. More jokes about: communication, disgusting, friendship, white people, wife
I have a green nose, three red mouths, and four purple ears.
What am I?
Ugly!
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