Joke #1486

Why do midgets laugh when they play soccer? because the grass tickles their balls :)
Vote:
has 71.83 % from 161 votes. More jokes about: dirty, football

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

Susan's mother: "What are you doing on the top of that tree?" Susan: "Some boys are playing football their ball is fallen on the tree. They asked me to bring it." Susan's mother: "My dear , they only want to chech your pants." Susan: "Don't worry mam, I hav'nt put on my pants!"
Vote:
has 85.17 % from 777 votes. More jokes about: dirty, football, kids, mean
Q: What do you call 2 nuns and a Prostitute on a football field? A: Two tight ends and a wide receiver.
Vote:
has 65.94 % from 62 votes. More jokes about: dirty, football, sport
A biker walks into a gay bar and sits down to have a drink when a guy walks up to him and asks "hey biker you ever played barroom football"? "What are you talking about" the biker replies. "You know you guzzle a beer down that's the touchdown then pull your pants down and bend over and if you can fart the kicks well." The gay guy goes first to demonstrate. The biker states "I can do that and even better." He chugs the beer, slams the bottle, stands up pulls his pants down bends over to fart the gay guy jumps behind him and shouts "blocked that kick".
Vote:
has 52.63 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: beer, dirty, fart, football, gay
There were three women sitting at a bar, talking about how loose they were. One woman said that her husband could fit his arm in up to his elbow. The next woman said her man could fit his leg in up to his knee. The last woman just slid over the bar stool.
Vote:
has 66.04 % from 86 votes. More jokes about: bar, dirty, husband
Q: What is the point of Jewish football? A: To get the quarter back
Vote:
has 53.57 % from 66 votes. More jokes about: black humor, football, jewish, morbid
Q: What's a terrorists favorite American football team? A: The New York Jets.
Vote:
has 58.42 % from 167 votes. More jokes about: air force, black humor, ethnic, football, terrorist
An Arabic kid joined my football team. All he did was blow the plays.
Vote:
has 41.41 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: black humor, ethnic, football, kids, racist
One day there was a blind man walking down the street and he smelled oranges, so he bought some fruit. He smelled some pastries, so he bought some donuts. Then he walked passed a fish market, took a hard sniff, and said, "Hello ladies!"
Vote:
has 70.41 % from 115 votes. More jokes about: dirty, fish, food
An Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman are wandering through the desert, hungry and hallucinating, when they come upon a rotting, dead camel. "Well," said the Englishman, "I support the Liverpool football club, so I'll eat the liver." "I support the Hearts club," said the Scotsman, "so I'll eat the heart." "I support Arsenal," said the Irishman, "but I seem to have lost my appetite."
Vote:
has 48.13 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, football
Drinking all day at a bar a man stumbles to the restroom to throw up. He doesn't make it in time and pukes all over the front of his shirt. As the drunk returned to the bar the bartender asks: "what the hell happened?" The drunk is very upset explaining to the bartender: "my wife gonna be pissed off! She just got me this shirt as an anniversary gift. Soon as she sees puke all over it, she will be shitty!" The bartender, being helpful says: "I got an idea. Why don't you put a $10 bill in the front shirt pocket and when she notices the puke you can say you drove a drunk fella home from the bar and during the drive, he got sick and puked all over the front of your new shirt?" Naturally, the guy felt bad so he gave you the $10 so you could have it cleaned. The drunk looked at the bartender a moment, thinking it over. "That's a great idea, the drunk slurs. Thank you." And the drunk left. When the drunk walked in the front door of his home there stood his wife to greet him. She hugged him and said: "oh my lord Frank, what happened to your new shirt?" He explained: "I drove a drunk fella home from the bar and he puked all over the front of my shirt, patting the pocket, and gave me $10 to get it cleaned." The wife reaches in and pulls the cash from the pocket. "But Frank," the wife says, "there is $20 here." Frank replies, "oh, I forgot to mention, he shit in my pants too."
Vote:
has 67.31 % from 54 votes. More jokes about: bar, dirty, disgusting, drunk, money