Joke #1486

Why do midgets laugh when they play soccer? because the grass tickles their balls :)
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has 69.73 % from 175 votes. More jokes about: dirty, football

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Susan's mother: "What are you doing on the top of that tree?" Susan: "Some boys are playing football their ball is fallen on the tree. They asked me to bring it." Susan's mother: "My dear , they only want to chech your pants." Susan: "Don't worry mam, I hav'nt put on my pants!"
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has 84.59 % from 803 votes. More jokes about: dirty, football, kids, mean
Q: What do you call 2 nuns and a Prostitute on a football field? A: Two tight ends and a wide receiver.
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has 68.72 % from 68 votes. More jokes about: dirty, football, sport
A biker walks into a gay bar and sits down to have a drink when a guy walks up to him and asks "hey biker you ever played barroom football"? "What are you talking about" the biker replies. "You know you guzzle a beer down that's the touchdown then pull your pants down and bend over and if you can fart the kicks well." The gay guy goes first to demonstrate. The biker states "I can do that and even better." He chugs the beer, slams the bottle, stands up pulls his pants down bends over to fart the gay guy jumps behind him and shouts "blocked that kick".
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has 51.55 % from 56 votes. More jokes about: beer, dirty, fart, football, gay
A vampire goes into to the bar and and for a glass of hot water. The bartender says, "I thought you guys only drank blood." The vampire pulls out a used tampon and says, "We do, I'm making tea."
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has 67.28 % from 124 votes. More jokes about: bar, dirty
There was a blonde who was at an all blonde football game. At halftime she was called down to answer questions to see if she could win $1000. The first question was what is 10 plus 11? She hesitates and says, "hm.. 5!" The host says "No, I'm sorry thats incorrect." All of the blondes in the stadium chanted "Give her another chance, give her another chance!" So the host agrees and said, "Ok how about 5 plus 5." She answers and says "20". Again all the blondes chanted "Give her another chance, give her another chance." So the host agrees again and says, "OK, last chance, what is 2 plus 2." The blonde says "4!" and the audience says "Give her another chance give her another chance!"
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has 55.25 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: blonde, football, math, money, stupid
A farmer goes out and buys a new, young rooster. As soon as he brings him home, the young rooster rushes and screws all 150 of the farmers hens. The farmer is impressed. At lunchtime, the young rooster again screws all 150 hens. The farmer is not just impressed anymore,he is worried. Next morning,not only is the rooster screwing the hens but he is screwing the turkeys,ducks even the cow. Later farmer looks out into the barnyard and finds the rooster stretched out, limp as a rag, his eyes closed, dead and vultures circling overhead. The farmer runs out, looks down at the young roosters limp body and says: "You deserved it, you horny bastard!" And the young rooster opens one eye, points up at the vultures with his wing, and says, Shhhh!,they are about to land."
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has 85.75 % from 1087 votes. More jokes about: dirty
A college freshman decided to try out for the football team. "Can you tackle?" asked the coach. "Watch this," said the freshman, who proceeded to run smack into a telephone pole, shattering it to splinters. "Wow," said the coach. "I'm impressed. Can you run?" "Of course I can run," said the freshman. He was off like a shot, and, in just over nine seconds, he had run a hundred yard dash. "Great!" enthused the coach. "But can you pass a football?" The freshman hesitated for a few seconds. "Well, sir," he said, "if I can swallow it, I can probably pass it."
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has 49.79 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: college, football, phone, sport
Dad: "Who do you think the committee screwed this year?" Me: "Mom."
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has 58.77 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: dirty, family, time, work
Brett Favre can throw a football over 50 yards. Chuck Norris can throw Brett Favre even further.
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has 47.46 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, Chuck Norris, football
Babe when I die I want you to cremate me, pour my ashes into a bowl of chili, and eat me just so I can tear that ass up one more time!
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has 58.15 % from 98 votes. More jokes about: death, dirty