Joke #1486

Why do midgets laugh when they play soccer? because the grass tickles their balls :)
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has 72.45 % from 124 votes. More jokes about: dirty, football

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Susan's mother: "What are you doing on the top of that tree?" Susan: "Some boys are playing football their ball is fallen on the tree. They asked me to bring it." Susan's mother: "My dear , they only want to chech your pants." Susan: "Don't worry mam, I hav'nt put on my pants!"
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has 84.81 % from 230 votes. More jokes about: dirty, football, kids, mean
Q: What do you call 2 nuns and a Prostitute on a football field? A: Two tight ends and a wide receiver.
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has 71.43 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: dirty, football, sport
A biker walks into a gay bar and sits down to have a drink when a guy walks up to him and asks "hey biker you ever played barroom football"? "What are you talking about" the biker replies. "You know you guzzle a beer down that's the touchdown then pull your pants down and bend over and if you can fart the kicks well." The gay guy goes first to demonstrate. The biker states "I can do that and even better." He chugs the beer, slams the bottle, stands up pulls his pants down bends over to fart the gay guy jumps behind him and shouts "blocked that kick".
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has 59.80 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: beer, dirty, fart, football, gay
Q: What is the difference between your cock, and your bonus? A: Your wife will always blow your bonus!
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has 75.62 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: dirty, mean, money, wife, work
The moon is just a football Chuck Norris kicked up when he was a kid.
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has 48.13 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, football, kids
I stopped a girl in the street last night and handed her a rape alarm and some pepper spray. She looked confused and said, "What are these for?" I started unbuttoning my jeans and replied, "I like a challenge."
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has 69.35 % from 746 votes. More jokes about: dirty
A woman asks an agriculturalist: "Please, tell me what shall I do? I have a garden but nothing grows there, like flowers or vegetables." The agriculturalist says: "You know, it is to dung the garden with a good fertilizer." The woman says: "And wouldn´t it be better to plant the vegetables directly into the ass?"
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has 58.56 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: dirty, food, vulgar, work
An Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman are wandering through the desert, hungry and hallucinating, when they come upon a rotting, dead camel. "Well," said the Englishman, "I support the Liverpool football club, so I'll eat the liver." "I support the Hearts club," said the Scotsman, "so I'll eat the heart." "I support Arsenal," said the Irishman, "but I seem to have lost my appetite."
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has 48.78 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, football
Why is someone who borrows money but does not pay it all back like a football player? Because sometimes he gives you a quarter back and sometimes a half back.
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has 29.01 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: football, money, sport
Two Men were out fishing when one decides to have a smoke He asks the other guy if he has a lighter He replies " Yes i do " and hands the other a 10 inch long BIC lighter Surprised the guy asks "Where did you get this?" The guy replies " Oh I have a personal genie" The first man asks "Can i make a wish? " Sure says the other man "Just make sure that you speak clearly cause he is a little hard at hearing" "Ok I will" says the other as he rubs the lamp a genie appears and asks the man what he wants The man says " I want a Million Bucks " The genie says OK and goes back to his bottle and 10 seconds later a million ducks fly over head And the guy says to the other " Your genie realy sucks at hearing doesnt He?" The other man replies "I know, do you really think I asked for a 10 inch BIC"
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has 75.80 % from 142 votes. More jokes about: dirty, fish, genie, money