Joke #1486

Why do midgets laugh when they play soccer? because the grass tickles their balls :)
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has 71.35 % from 119 votes. More jokes about: dirty, football

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Susan's mother: "What are you doing on the top of that tree?" Susan: "Some boys are playing football their ball is fallen on the tree. They asked me to bring it." Susan's mother: "My dear , they only want to chech your pants." Susan: "Don't worry mam, I hav'nt put on my pants!"
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has 80.62 % from 56 votes. More jokes about: dirty, football, kids, mean
Let me insert my plug into your socket and we can generate some electricity.
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has 66.98 % from 57 votes. More jokes about: dirty, flirt, sex
A college freshman decided to try out for the football team. "Can you tackle?" asked the coach. "Watch this," said the freshman, who proceeded to run smack into a telephone pole, shattering it to splinters. "Wow," said the coach. "I'm impressed. Can you run?" "Of course I can run," said the freshman. He was off like a shot, and, in just over nine seconds, he had run a hundred yard dash. "Great!" enthused the coach. "But can you pass a football?" The freshman hesitated for a few seconds. "Well, sir," he said, "if I can swallow it, I can probably pass it."
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has 53.58 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: college, football, phone, sport
Why is someone who borrows money but does not pay it all back like a football player? Because sometimes he gives you a quarter back and sometimes a half back.
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has 31.03 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: football, money, sport
Q: What do you get when you cross a elephant with a witch? A: I don’t know but she will need a very large broom!
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has 56.65 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: dirty
One night a little girl walks in on her parents having sex. The mother is going up and down on the father and when she sees her daughter looking at them she immediately stops. “What are you doing, Mommy?” The mother too embarassed to tell her little girl about sex so she makes up an answer. “Well, sweetie, sometimes daddy’s tummy gets too big so I have to jump up and down on it to flatten it out.” The little girl replies, “Well, mommy you really shouldn’t bother with that.” The mother has a confused look on her face, “Why do you say that sweetheart?” The little girl replies, “Because mommy, everytime you leave in the morning, the lady next door comes over and blows it back up.”
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has 85.19 % from 2857 votes. More jokes about: dirty, sex
Why pay $5 at Subway when you can get this footlong for free?
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has 66.38 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: dirty, flirt, food, money, sex
A man took his pregnant wife to the hospital. The doctor looked her over and told them it would be a rather difficult delivery. He offered to let the couple try an experimental procedure. The woman would be connected to a machine that would transfer part of the pain to the father of the baby, thus reducing her own. The man quickly agreed. The doctor warned him, though, that there was a slight bug in the machine that caused it to amplify the pain sent to the father by ten times, and if the pain became too much for to bear would he please let the doctor know. The doctor turned on the machine and watched the man. The man said he felt absolutely fine and he could take more. The doctor turned the dial up to 40, 60, 80, and finally 100% of the pain, times ten. The woman delivered the baby painlessly and the doctor stared at the man, astonished at how he could not even flinch with that much pain brought upon him. The couple took the new baby home. There, on the front step, the mailman lay dead.
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has 84.16 % from 529 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Valentines Day is the day that the "V" and "D" come together.
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has 66.60 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: dirty, sex, Valentines day
A guy walks into a pharmacy and buys a pack of condoms. The cashier asks him if he wants a bag. He responds, "No, she's not that ugly."
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has 78.81 % from 114 votes. More jokes about: dirty