Your file was so big.
It might be very useful.
But now it is gone.
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Software isn’t released, it’s allowed to escape.
Your mama so stupid she bought tickets to Xbox Live.
Did you know you can download the whole Tyson-Holyfield fight off the internet?
It doesn’t take much memory – just two Bytes.
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God called a meeting of George Bush, Tony Blair and Bill Gates.
‘I’ve given you all the tools you needed to make a better world,’ says God.
‘But you’ve failed and I’m ending the world in two weeks.’
Bush goes on TV and says, ‘I have good news and bad news.
The good news is that God exists. The bad news is that the world will end in two weeks.’
Tony Blair says, ‘I have bad news and really bad news.
The bad news is that God is really annoyed.
The really bad news is he’s going to destroy us.’
Bill Gates calls his workers together and says, ‘I have good news and great news.
The good news is that God thinks I’m one of the three most powerful people in the world.
The great news is that we don’t have to fix the bugs in the new Windows package.’
Programming is like sex.
One mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.
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According to Apple what is the leading cause of iphone 6 overheating?
Downloading images of Candice Swanepoel.
How many Microsoft programmers does it take to start the November 5th bonfire?
Zero Microsoft declares darkness to be a new standard.
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If you put a million monkeys at a million keyboards, one of them will eventually write a Java program.
The rest of them will write Perl programs.
Bad command or file name.
Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay!
What do the latest Iphone 6 applications do?
Whiten teeth and perform laser eye surgery!
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