Your file was so big.
It might be very useful.
But now it is gone.
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Who said Windows 98 is a virus was wrong.
Why?
Because a virus does something.
A programmer was walking along the beach when he found a lamp.
Upon rubbing the lamp a genie appeared who stated "I am the most powerful genie in the world. I can grant you any wish you want, but only one wish."
The programmer pulled out a map of the Mediterranean area and said "I'd like there to be a just and last peace among the people in the middle east."
The genie responded, "Gee, I don't know. Those people have been fighting since the beginning of time. I can do just about anything, but this is beyond my limits."
The programmer then said, "Well, I am a programmer and my programs have a lot of users. Please make all the users satisfied with my programs, and let them ask sensible changes"
Genie: "Uh, let me see that map again."
If you messed up your life, you could press "Ctrl, Alt, Delete" and start all over!
To get your daily exercise, just click on "run"!
If you needed a break from life, click on suspend.
Hit "any key" to continue life when ready.
To get even with the neighbors, turn up the sound blaster.
To add/remove someone in your life, click settings and control panel.
To improve your appearance, just adjust the display settings.
If life gets too noisy, turn off the speakers.
When you loose your car keys, click on find.
"Help" with the chores is just a click away.
Auto insurance wouldn't be necessary.
You would use your diskette to recover from a crash.
And, we could click on "SEND NOW" and a Pizza would be on it's way to you.
The mouse is referred to as a ‘little bugger’.
Programmers: See one warning, fixes warning. Compiles...
See two errors, fixes errors. Compiles...
See 83 errors, pitches computer.
Bill Gates dies and goes to God.
God says to him:
Because you invented the screen saver I give you the possibility to go wherever you want.
God shoes Bill that in hell there are lots of naked chicks and beaches.
So he chooses hell.
After a while God returns and asks him if he like’s it there.
Bill says:
No! Where are all the chicks you just showed me?
Oh that! That was just a screen saver.
A Microsoft support technician goes to a firing range.
He shoots ten bullets at the target 50m away.
The supervisors check the target and see that there’s not even a single hit.
They shout to him that he missed completely.
The technician tells them to recheck, and gets the same answer.
The technician then aims the gun at his finger and shoots, blasting it off.
He shouts back, ‘It’s working fine here!
The problem must be at your end!’
Officer: "I'm arresting you for downloading all of Wikipedia."
Man: "No wait! I can explain everything!"
When you get to the point where you really understand your computer, it’s probably obsolete.