Google+ is the gym of social networking. We all join, but nobody actually uses it.
You know, I have Google+, Facebook, Twitter, Skype accounts... Man, and do you have life? OMG, No! Could you send me a link?
I don't always go to the gym, but when I do, I make sure Facebook knows about it.
I forgot to post on Facebook I was going to the gym. Now this whole workout was a waste of time.
Only Chuck Norris can dislike on Facebook.
A client calls to hotline of internet service provider: "I have a problem, internet stopped working two days ago, neither I nor my son nor anyone else can access it now..." "I see, do you know what's the operating system on your PC?" "Of course, I do - it's Facebook..."
Whoever said technology will replace paper has obviously never tried to wipe their butt with an iPad.
Do you squat here often?
I dropped my laptop into the ocean the other day. Now I have a Dell rolling in the deep.
On Unix, I always hide all of my personal files in the /bin/laden directory.
At the gym: Me: "What does this machine do?" "Sir, that's a bench." Me: "Perfect."