Joke #14199

What is the worst combination of illnesses? Alzheimer's and diarrhea. You're running, but can't remember where.
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has 74.63 % from 71 votes. More jokes about: health

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Little Johnny was in church with him mom for Sunday Mass when he suddenly felt nauseous. "Mom, I think I'm going to throw up!" She told him, "I want you to run outside as fast as you can. Run across the lawn and go behind the bushes. You can throw up behind the bushes and nobody will see you." So Little Johnny hauled ass for the door. Less than a minute later, he returned to his seat next to his mom. He had the look of obvious relief on his young face. "Did you make it all the way to the bushes, Johnny?" "I didn't have to go that far, mom. Just as I got to the front door, I found a box that had a sign on it: FOR THE SICK."
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has 84.96 % from 579 votes. More jokes about: church, health, little Johnny
The best thing about Alzheimer's Disease is that you get to meet so many new people.
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has 50.97 % from 78 votes. More jokes about: black humor, health
Yo' Mama is so stanky, she gets sourdough yeast infections.
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has 46.54 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: health, insulting, Yo mama
A doctor told his patient that his test results indicated that she had a rare disease and had only six months to live. "That's such a short amount of time, doctor. Isn't there anything I can do?" pleaded the patient. "Marry a lawyer," the doctor advised. "It will be the longest six months of your life."
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has 66.15 % from 93 votes. More jokes about: doctor, health, lawyer, marriage, time
Knock-knock Who is there? A shattered penis with many diseases. What kind of illness? Gall, Aids, Gonorrhea, Syphilis... Enough, it is the best present for my mother in law.
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has 64.13 % from 603 votes. More jokes about: black humor, health, knock-knock, mother in law, vulgar
Q: Who may open the door without using hands, nor legs? A: An invalid.
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has 47.62 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: black humor, health
Two guys show up in Heaven at the same time. The first guy says he froze to death, and the second guy tells him that he died of a heart attack. "How did that happen?" asks the first guy. "Well, I came home and thought I heard my wife with another man. But when I searched the house, I couldn't find anybody. I was so stricken with remorse for wrongly accusing my wife of infidelity, I had a heart attack and died on the spot." "Geez," says the first guy. "If you'd opened the fridge, we'd both be alive right now."
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has 76.70 % from 88 votes. More jokes about: death, health, heaven, life, wife
Birthdays are good for your health. Studies have shown that people who have more birthdays live longer.
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has 77.97 % from 77 votes. More jokes about: age, birthday, health, life
AIDS Can't Kill Chuck Norris.
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has 40.09 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, health
An alcoholic addict just returned home from a rehab and he saw crate of empty bottles sitting at the corner and he goes there grab one and smacknit to the wall and said "you made my wife leave me." Grab another one and smashes it and said "you made me get fired from work" and grab another one which was full and was about to smash it and he brushes it and said "you were not part of them and open and drink...."
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has 45.10 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, health, life, wife, work