A man filed a report to the police that his bag was stolen.
Upon leaving the man's apartment, the officer found the man's bag at the bottom of the stairwell.
It was a brief case.
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A blonde, a brunet and a red head were running from the cops when they came upon three empty sacks laying in front of a closed store.
"Let's hide in these and the cops won't find us!" said the red head, and they each dove into the sacks.
The brunet hid in one that said CAT.
The red head hid in one that said DOG, and the blonde hid in one that said POTATOS.
When the cops came by, they saw the bags and said: "Maybe they're in these sacks. Kick one of them." to the other.
The other cop kicked the bag the brunet was in that said CAT and she said: "Meow!".
So the cop kicked the second bag with the red head that said DOG. She said once kicked: "Woof!".
So the cop moved on to the final sack that said POTATOS and kicked it.
The blonde cried out: "Potatos!"
Why did the duck get arrested?
because he was selling quack.
A female police officer pulls over a drunk driver
Officer: "You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say or do can and will be held against you in the court of law."
Driver: "Tits"
Two clones are on a roof.
One clone pushes the other clone off.
The next day the police arrest him for making an obscene clone fall.
Vote:
A blonde was visiting Washington, DC for the first time.
She wanted to see the Capitol building.
Unfortunately, she couldn’t find it, so she asked a police officer for directions, “Excuse me, officer, how do I get to the Capitol building?”
The officer replied, “Wait here at this bus stop for the number 54 bus.
It’ll take you right there.”
She thanked the officer and he drives off.
Three hours later the police officer returned to the same area and, sure enough, the blonde is still waiting at the same bus stop.
The officer got out of his car and said, “Excuse me, but to get to the Capitol building, I said to wait here for the number 54 bus.
That was three hours ago.
Why are you still waiting?”
The blonde replied, “Don’t worry, officer, it won’t be long now.
The 45th bus just went by!”
A man is driving happily along when he is pulled over by the police.
The copper approaches him and politely asks, "Have you been drinking, sir?"
"Why?" snorts the man.
"Is there a fat bird in my car?"
Q: What do you call a violent minority?
A: A thug.
Q: What do you call a violent white guy?
A: Officer.
Vote:
A man was driving along the road when all of a sudden he has to swerve to avoid a box falling off the lorry in front.
Seconds later a policeman pulled him over for reckless driving.
As the policeman starting writing the ticket he noticed the box was full of nails and tacks.
"I had to serve or I'd have run over those and blown my tyres!" protested the driver.
"Ok", replied the officer, ripping up the ticket, "but I'm still bringing you in."
"What for?" retorted the man.
"Tacks evasion", answered the policeman.
The Judge said to the defendant. "I thought I told you I never wanted to see you in here again."
"Your Honor," the criminal said, "that's what I tried to tell the police, but they wouldn't listen."