Joke #3314

How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, it turned itself in.
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Someone call CSI. I just killed my workout.
Vote: has 64.88 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

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Your mama is so stupid, when she lost her dildo she called the cops to look for it.
Vote: has 46.60 % from 31 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: cop, dirty, sex, stupid, Yo mama
A soldier ran up to a nun. Out of breath he asked, "Please, may I hide under your skirt. I'll explain later." The nun agreed... A moment later two Military Police ran up and asked, "Sister, have you seen a soldier?" The nun replied, "He went that way." After the MPs ran off, the soldier crawled out from under her skirt and said, "I can't thank you enough, sister. You see, I don't want to go to Syria." The nun said, "I understand completely." The soldier added, "I hope I'm not rude, but you have a great pair of legs!" The nun replied, "If you had looked a little higher, you would have seen a great pair of balls…. I don't want to go to Syria either."
Vote: has 85.77 % from 270 votes. Send joke:

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Your nails are so long when you come around the corner the police arrested you for dangerous weapons.
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Q: What's the difference between a black guy and a white guy? A: A white guy can say "Hey Dad" and "Good morning officer".
Vote: has 50.20 % from 70 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black people, communication, cop, racist, white people
How many cop jokes are there? Just two, all the rest are true!
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Your Mama's so black, when the cops were shooting at her, the bullets went back for flashlights.
Vote: has 56.98 % from 23 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black people, cop, racist, Yo mama
Two rednecks, Bubba and Earl, were driving down the road drinking a couple of bottles of Bud. The passenger, Bubba, said "Lookey thar up ahead, Earl, it's a police roadblock!! We're gonna get busted fer drinkin' these here beers!!" "Don't worry, Bubba," Earl said. "We'll just pull over and finish drinkin' these beers then peel off the label and stick it on our foreheads, and throw the bottles under the seat." "What fer?", asked Bubba. "Just let me do the talkin', OK?," said Earl. Well, they finished their beers, threw the empties out of sight & put label on each of their foreheads. When they reached the roadblock, the sheriff said, "You boys been drinkin'?" "No, sir," said Earl while pointing at the labels. "We're on the patch."
Vote: has 53.57 % from 39 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol, cop, redneck
An elementary school class goes on a field trip to the police station. The Officer points to the 10 MOST WANTED list and tells them that these are the most wanted fugitives in the USA. Little Boy says " He is the MOST WANTED in the USA?!" Officer says "Yes." Little Boy asks "Why didn't you keep him when you took his picture.
Vote: has 74.53 % from 148 votes. Send joke:

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John and Jessica were on their way home from the bar one night and John got pulled over by the police. The officer told John that he was stopped because his tail light was burned out. John said, "I'm very sorry officer, I didn't realize it was out, I'll get it fixed right away." Just then Jessica said, "I knew this would happen when I told you two days ago to get that light fixed." So the officer asked for John's license and after looking at it said, "Sir your license has expired." And again John apologized and mentioned that he didn't realize that it had expired and would take care of it first thing in the morning. Jessica said, "I told you a week ago that the state sent you a letter telling you that your license had expired." Well by this time, John is a bit upset with his wife contradicting him in front of the officer, and he said in a rather loud voice, "Jessica, shut your mouth!" The officer then leaned over toward Jessica and asked. "Does your husband always talk to you like that?" Jessica replied, "only when he's drunk."
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