Two chess players were in a hotel lobby, bragging to each other about their recent victories.
The manager comes over,
"Could you go to your rooms now, please?"
"Why?!"
"I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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A retiree was given a set of golf clubs by his co-workers.
Thinking he'd try the game, he asked the local pro for lessons, explaining that he knew nothing whatever of the game.
The pro showed him the stance and swing, then said "Just hit the ball toward the flag on the first green."
The novice teed up and smacked the ball straight down the fairway and onto the green, where it stopped inches from the hole.
"Now what?" the fellow asked the speechless pro.
"Uh... you're supposed to hit the ball into the cup" the pro finally said, after he was able to speak again.
The retiree replied, "Oh great!
NOW you tell me!"
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Chuck Norris has 10 custom classes on Modern Warfare 2, and hes never prestiged.
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Basketball is the perfect game for a black person.
All you do is run, shoot and steal.
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Chuck Norris caught all the 493 Pokemon...
With the Yellow version.
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Chuck Norris once played with Legos.
The result was The Great Pyramids.
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When Chuck Norris plays the game Clue, the answer is always everyone in every room with a roundhouse kick!
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A Scottish man was at a baseball game.
It was the first time he had ever seen the sport so he sat quietly.
The first batter approached the plate, took a few swings and then hit a double.
Everyone was on their feet screaming “Run, run!”
This happened two more times, with a single and a triple.
The Scottish man was now excited and ready to get into the game.
The next batter came up and four balls went by.
The umpire called “walk” and the batter started on a slow trot to first.
The Scotsman, extremely excited now, stood up and screamed, “R-R-Run ye ba$$tarrd, rrrun!”
Everyone around him started laughing so the Scotsman, extremely embarrassed, sat back down.
The fan sitting next to the Scotsman noticed his embarrassment, so he leaned over and explained, “He can’t run because he got four balls.”
The Scotsman immediately stood up and screamed, “Walk with pride, man! Walk with pride!”
Chuck Norris's kill ratio on Call of Duty:Black Ops is infinity.
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Q: What explorer was the best at Hiding and Seek?
A: Marco Polo.
Chuck Norris wrote the Assassins creed!
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