Two chess players were in a hotel lobby, bragging to each other about their recent victories.
The manager comes over,
"Could you go to your rooms now, please?"
"Why?!"
"I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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Patient: "Doctor, do you think that I shall live until I am ninety?"
Doctor: "How old are you now?"
Patient: "40"
Doctor: "Do you drink, gamble, smoke or do you have any other vice?"
Patient: "No. I don’t drink. I don’t gamble. I don’t smoke. I have no vice."
Doctor: "Then why do you want to live for another fifty years?"
Yo mamma so fat she doesn't play temple run she plays temple roll.
Q: How do you be pro in clash royale?
A: Use rocket and rage spell ladies.
When Chuck Norris plays the game Clue, the answer is always everyone in every room with a roundhouse kick!
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Superman and The Flash have a race around the world.
Who wins?
Chuck Norris.
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Q: What do you get when you find a dead blonde in a closet?
A: The hide and seek champion of 1996.
Chuck Norris can get a Black-Jack with one card.
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On a famous TV game show a blonde contestant needed only to answer one more question.
One simple question stood between her and the Ł1.000 prize.
"To be today's champion," the show's host smiled, "name two of Santa's reindeer."
The blonde gave a sigh of relief because she had been given such an easy question.
"Rudolph!" she said confidently, "and... Olive!"
The studio audience started to applaud (as the little sign above their heads said to do) but the clapping quickly faded into mumbling, and the confused host replied, "Yes, we'll accept Rudolph, but could you please explain... 'Olive?!'"
"You know," the woman circled her hand forward impatiently and began to sing, "Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer - had a very shiny nose. And if you ever saw it, you would even say it glowed. *Olive,* the other reindeer..."
What are cows favorite party games?
MOO-sical chairs.
Chuck Norris just checked out from 501... In 8 darts.
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