Q: How many psychiatrists does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: One, but the lightbulb must really want to change.
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Patient: "How much do you charge for extracting a tooth?"
Doctor: "Fifty rupees."
Patient: "Fifty ruppes, for only a few second’s work?"
Doctor: "Well, I will do it very slowly."
Patient: "How much is for the operation?"
Doctor: "Rupees on thousand."
Patient: "But it was a serious one."
Doctor: "Nonsense. You can’t buy a serious operation for Rupees one Thousand now-a days."
Q: How many hipsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: One to screw it in and the other to wear skinny jeans.
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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb?
1001.....1 to hold the light bulb and 1000 to turn the house.
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Q: How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?
A: We can see no need for uninstallation and have therefore made no provision for light bulbs to be removed.
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A blonde has sharp pains in her side.
The doctor examines her and says, "You have acute appendicitis."
The blonde says, "That's sweet, doc, but I came here to get medical help."
Q: How many cost accountants does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Hmmm... I'll just do a few numbers and get back to you.
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A lady goes to the doctor to see about getting a facelift.
"Well," says the doctor, "I can do the facelift, and then you’ll have to come back in six months for a follow-up."
"Oh, no.”" the woman replies. "I want it all done in one shot. I don’t want to have to come back."
The doctor thinks for a second, then offers, "There is a new procedure where we put a screw in the top of your head. Then anytime you see wrinkles appearing, you just give it a little turn, which pulls the skin up and they disappear."
"That’s what I want!" exclaims the lady. "Let’s do that."
Six months later the lady charges into the doctor’s office.
"Well, how’s the procedure holding up?" the doctor asks.
"Terrible!" the lady bellows. "It’s the worst mistake I’ve ever made."
"What’s wrong?" asks the doctor.
"Just look at these bags under my eyes!" she hollers.
"Lady," the doctor reports, "those aren’t bags, those are your boobs, and if you don’t leave that screw alone, you’re going to have a beard!"
Q: How many University Graduates does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One, but it may take up to seven years!
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Q: How many Apple Iphone 6 early adopters does it take to change a light bulb?
A: 3001. 1 to do the work and 3000 to go online and bitch about the lack of obscure features!
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Q: How many Californians does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: 10, 1 to change the bulb and 9 to share the experience.
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