Joke #1430

They wanted something long and hard..... I gave them MY HOMEWORK!
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has 51.86 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: school

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The teacher is droning away in the classroom when he notices a student sleeping way up in the back row. The teacher shouts to the sleeping student's neighbor, "Hey wake that student up!" The neighbor yells back, "You put him to sleep, you wake him up!"
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has 80.28 % from 193 votes. More jokes about: school
Teacher: Where is your homework? Pupil: I lost it fighting this kid who said you weren’t the best teacher in the school.
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has 58.51 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: school
Teacher: “You missed school yesterday, didn’t you?” Boy: “Not a bit!”
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has 45.10 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: school
Malcolm: Miss Wilson can I go to the loo? Miss Wilson: In two minutes Malcolm. Do your alphabet first. Malcolm: Ok Miss Wilson. abcdefghijklmnoqrstuvwxyz. Miss Wilson: Very good, Malcolm, but where's the p? Malcolm: Miss, it's running down my leg!
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has 62.63 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, school
A young boy went up to his father and asked him, "Dad, what is the difference between 'potentially' and 'realistically'?" The father thought for a moment, then answered, "Go ask your mother if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars. Then ask your sister if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars, and then, ask your brother if he’d sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars. Come back and tell me what you learn from that." So the boy went to his mother and asked, "Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?" The mother replied, "Of course, I would! We could really use that money to fix up the house and send you kids to a great university!" The boy then went to his sister and asked, "Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?" The girl replied, "Oh, good heavens! I LOVE Brad Pitt and I would sleep with him in a heartbeat. Are you nuts?" The boy then went to his brother and asked, "Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?" "Of course," the brother replied. "Do you know how much a million bucks would buy?" The boy pondered the answers for a few days and then went back to his dad. His father asked him, "Did you find out the difference between 'potentially' and 'realistically'?" The boy replied, "Yes, 'Potentially', you and I are sitting on three million dollars, but 'realistically', we’re living with two h***s and a future congressman."
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has 61.94 % from 61 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, dad, kids, money, school
An announcement came over the intercom for the college students: "Will the students who are parked on the wrong side of the Parking area please move their cars." Twenty minutes later there was another announcement: "Will the three hundred students who went to move fourteen cars return to class."
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has 39.94 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: school
Hilary Clinton, George Bush, Sarkozy, a boy and a monk were stuck on a plane that is falling fast. They are 5 but there are only 4 parachutes. Hilary said "I'm a woman, you cant leave a woman on a plane to die" so she took one and jumped. Bush said "I'm the smartest in the world, every one needs me" he took one and jumped. Sarkozy blabbed something in french that no one understood, he took one and jumped. The monk tells the boy "You take the last parachute, let me die" the boy said "Why? We can both jump." "How is that?" said the monk. The boy replies, "Because the so called smartest man Bush took my school bag and jumped!"
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has 61.92 % from 64 votes. More jokes about: airplane, life, political, school
The average speed of ejaculation is 45km/h, which is probably why I was arrested for doing it outside a school.
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has 61.90 % from 120 votes. More jokes about: dirty, school, sex
Dad: "I heard you missed school yesterday." Little Johnny: "Not a bit."
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has 63.74 % from 279 votes. More jokes about: little Johnny, school
This guy went to school and he asked "May I use the bathroom?" The teacher replied, " no not unless you say your abc's." The guy said "a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o q r s t u v w x y z." The teacher asked "Where's the p? He replied, " running down my leg!"
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has 82.06 % from 484 votes. More jokes about: school, teacher