Joke #1430

They wanted something long and hard..... I gave them MY HOMEWORK!
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has 49.79 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: school

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At school, a soldier spoke to Johnny's class. Johnny felt enthusiastic about joining the military, so he went home and told his dad. To his surprise, this was the biggest step forward in his life, so his dad decided to explain the military to him. "Son, I'll teach you what you need to know about the military. The Army and Navy are the only two REAL branches of our military. The Marine Corps is a cult. The Coast Guard is playing a game called 'Pretend Navy Since 1915'." So Johnny asks his dad, "what about the Air Force?" Johnny's dad explained to him, "well son, the Air Force is like a giant corporation. Just a bunch of people sitting at desks playing Flight Simulator and bullshitting with each other." By that time, Johnny was amazed and decided he wanted to join the military, but wanted to know what his daddy did. "What did you do in the military, dad?" "Well son, I spoke Chinese and shot at the Americans in Vietnam."
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has 78.80 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: air force, little Johnny, military, navy, school
„And, Johnny? How did your school report turn out?" asks mother. „Come on mom, the most important thing is that I'm healthy!"
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has 58.87 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: health, little Johnny, school
An English professor complained to the pet shop proprietor, “The parrot I purchased uses improper language.” “I’m surprised,” said the owner. “I’ve never taught that bird to swear.” “Oh, it isn’t that,” explained the professor. “But yesterday I heard him split an infinitive.”
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has 46.20 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: school
Maths teacher: "If you have 12 chocolates and you give 5 to Priya, 3 to Sonia and 2 to Penny then what will you get?" "3 new Girlfriends!"
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has 78.15 % from 306 votes. More jokes about: food, relationship, school, teacher
Why do mexicans walk around the school like they own the place? Cause there dad built it and there mom cleans it at night.
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has 65.96 % from 145 votes. More jokes about: dad, mexican, racist, school
One day, a young boy was asked by his teacher to tell him what the chemical formula for water was. The boy replied with "H-I-J-K-L-M-N-O". The Teacher was stunned. "That's not right, how did you come up with that?" The boy said, "Last week you said it was H2O!"
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has 40.53 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: school, science, teacher
When chuck Norris was in school, he made his PE teacher run laps.
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has 54.59 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, school
Chuck Norris didn't go to school to learn, he went to teach.
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has 71.43 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, school, teacher
A high school English teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. "Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being there tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or illness, or a death in your immediate family - but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!" A smart-ass guy in the back of the room raises his hand and asks, "What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?" The entire class does its best to stifle their laughter and snickering. When silence is restored, the teacher smiles sympathetically at the student, shakes her head, and sweetly says, "Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand."
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has 64.28 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: school
Little Johnny was walking down the hallway at school. When he reaches his classroom he looks inside and sees a sub instead of his regular teacher. Johnny sits down and the teacher says, “Now students, my name is Ms. Prussy. Not the other word, this word has an r after the first letter.” Johnny started laughing. An hour later he forgot her name and said, “Your name has an r after the first letter is it Ms. Crunt?”
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has 68.87 % from 177 votes. More jokes about: little Johnny, school, teacher