I wish my grades would smoke weed too so we could both get higher.
Similar jokes
See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.
Q: Why don't you see any pot heads in elementary school?
A: Because they're all in high school
A little lizard was walking through the forest to see his pal the monkey.
The monkey call out hey little buddy come up here I got some great pot.
So the little lizard climbed up the tree.
The little lizard and the monkey smoked a great big joint.
The little lizard said hey this stuff is great but I have horrible cottonmouth.
Well there is a river just down there.
So the little lizard walk down the tree through the brush and started to drink the water.
All of a sudden a crocodile came out of the water.
Hey little buddy waz up said the croc, "I just got stoned with my pal the monkey."
"Really" said the croc, "where is he I want some."
He is through the brush and up the tree.
So the croc walked through the brush and to the tree.
The monkey said "holy shit how much did you drink little buddy."
Teacher: "Sam, what is the outside of a tree called?"
Sam: "I don't know."
Teacher: "Bark, Sam, bark."
Sam: "Bow, wow, wow!"
In high school, teachers had to raise up their hand to speak to Chuck Norris.
Vote:
Q: How long does it take before a pound of weed goes bad?
A: I don't know! I've never had it longer than an hour!
Boy: “I’ve just had the most awful time.
First I got angina pectoris, then arteriosclerosis.
Just as I was recovering, I got psoriasis.
They gave me hypodermics, and to top it all, tonsillitis was followed by appendectomy.”
Friend: “Wow! How did you pull through?”
Boy: “I don’t know.
Toughest spelling test I ever had!”
If you say "alright" in the mirror 3 times Matthew McConaughey will appear and hand you a joint.
Q: What do you call a stoner spilling his weed on the floor?
A: Drug Abuse.
Q: What do you call money that grows on trees?
A: Marijuana