I wish my grades would smoke weed too so we could both get higher.
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Q: Why don't you see any pot heads in elementary school?
A: Because they're all in high school
Mother: Come on Pete you have to get out of bed or you'll be late for the college.
Peter: O mum do I have to, all the teachers hate me, and all the students hate me too.
Mother: Yes you do.
Peter: Give me a good reason
Mother: You're 52 and you are the Principal!
Yo mama so short when she smokes weed, she cant even get high.
An announcement came over the intercom for the college students:
"Will the students who are parked on the wrong side of the Parking area please move their cars."
Twenty minutes later there was another announcement:
"Will the three hundred students who went to move fourteen cars return to class."
Julia began her job in a secondary school as a counselor and she was keen to help the pupils.
One day during break-time she noticed a girl standing all by herself on one side of the playing field while the rest of the children were enjoying a game of soccer at the other end of the field.
Julia approached and asked if she was all right.
The girl said that she was.
Some time later, however, Julia noticed that the girl was in exactly the same spot, still by herself.
Going up to her again, she enquired, 'Would you like me to be your friend?'
The girl hesitated, then said, 'Alright,' while looking at Julia with some suspicion.
Feeling she was making progress, Julia then asked, 'Why are you standing here all alone?'
'Because,' the girl said with a large sigh, 'I'm the goalie!'
Officer: "your eyes look red man have you been smoking weed."
Suspect: "officer your eyes look glazed like you has had doughnuts."
Mom: What did you do at school today?
Mark: We did a guessing game.
Mom: But I thought you were having a math exam.
Mark: That’s right!
You are so old, you sat next to Jesus in school.
Q: What do you get when you mix English class with alcohol?
A: Tequila Mockingbird