Joke #11784

I wish my grades would smoke weed too so we could both get higher.

Q: Why don't you see any pot heads in elementary school? A: Because they're all in high school

I still don't understand why smoking weed makes you a criminal... When I smoke it the only thing I a threat to is cake.

2 girls meet: "Me & my husband are no longer together..." "Why?" "Well, could you live with a person who smokes weed, drinks, has no job and always cusses?" "No, of course I couldn't!" "Well he couldn't either!"

Three professors (a physicist, a chemist, and a statistician) are called in to see their dean. Just as they arrive the dean is called out of his office, leaving the three professors there. The professors see with alarm that there is a fire in the wastebasket. The physicist says, "I know what to do! We must cool down the materials until their temperature is lower than the ignition temperature and then the fire will go out." The chemist says, "No! No! I know what to do! We must cut off the supply of oxygen so that the fire will go out due to lack of one of the reactants." While the physicist and chemist debate what course to take, they both are alarmed to see the statistician running around the room starting other fires. They both scream, "What are you doing?" To which the statistician replies, "Trying to get an adequate sample size."

Q: What does a cooked chicken and a stoner who is afraid of everything have in common? A: They are both baked chickens.

Q: What do you call a pothead that doesn't inhale? A: Mr. President.

What is a teacher's favorite kind of music? Class-ical.

Jacob: Why was the teacher wearing sunglasses to school? Leonard: Why? Jacob: She had bright students!

Q: How do all stoner stories start? A: This one time when I was high...

There was a school about learning roundhouse kicks. No one finished it. Why? Chuck Norris kicked them with a roundhouse kick. It's his only weakness so no one must know how to do Roundhouse Kick!