Joke #1440

Q: What's the difference between an epyleptic oyster shucker and a prostitute with diahrrea? A: One shucks between fits.
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has 34.70 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: disgusting

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One day two boys were walking through the woods when they saw some rabbit turds. One of the boys said, "What is that?" "They're smart pills," said the other boy. "Eat them and they'll make you smarter." So he ate them and said, "These taste like crap." "See," said the other boy, "you're getting smarter already."
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has 56.86 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: animal, disgusting
How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall red? Depends how hard you throw them.
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has 66.46 % from 328 votes. More jokes about: dead baby, disgusting
Cannibal Son: Mom, I don't like my brother anymore. Cannibal Mother: You shut up and eat!
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has 46.70 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, family, food
A cowboy rides his horse up to a saloon. All the patrons gawked as the cowboy kissed his horse on the butt before coming in and asking for a drink. The bartender serves him and asks, "Mind if I ask why'd ya kiss your horse on the butt?" The cowboy says, "It's 'cause I got chapped lips." The bartender asks, "Does manure help them heal?" Cowboy replies, "No, but it keeps me from licking them."
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has 70.84 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: disgusting
On a senior citizens bus tour, while the passengers were unloading to do some sightseeing, one elderly lady stopped and whispered in the driver's ear. She said, "Driver, I believe that I was sexually harassed!" The driver didn't think much of her complaint, but promised he would check into it soon. Later, that same day, as the passengers were unloading again, a second little old lady bent down and whispered in his ear, "Sir, I believe I was sexually harassed!" This time, he figured he'd better look into it. A few passengers had remained on the bus, and he decided to go back and question them, to find out if they knew what was going on. He found one little old man crawling along the bus floor beneath the seats and stooped down to question him. "Excuse me sir, could I help you?" The elderly man looked up and said, "Well, sonny you sure can. I've lost my toupee and I'm trying to find it..." The man continued, "I thought I'd located it twice, but they were parted in the middle, and mine is parted on the side!"
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has 70.35 % from 56 votes. More jokes about: age, disgusting, old people, sex, travel
What does a blind, deaf, quadriplegic baby can get for Christmas ? Cancer.
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has 20.48 % from 125 votes. More jokes about: baby, Christmas, disgusting, health
3 bums were outside a bar. The first one went in and asked for a fork. The second one went in and also asked for a fork. Then the third one went in and wanted a straw. At this point, the bartender became curious. "How come all your friends want forks and you want a straw?" "Well," the bum said, "the dog threw up and the chunks are all gone."
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has 44.92 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: disgusting
A blonde buys a used sports car. However, during the first joy ride, the engine jerks and the car slows to a stop. The blonde calls a tow truck. The mechanic sets to work, and 10 minutes later, the car is running again. "What was the matter?" she asks. "Simple really, just sh*t in the carburetor" he replies. Taken aback she asks, "Oh, how many times a week do I have to put that in?"
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has 47.72 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: blonde, car, disgusting, mechanic
A young couple is out for a romantic Valentine's Day walk along a country lane. They walk hand in hand and as they stroll, the lad's lustful desire rises to a peak. He is just about to get frisky when she says, "I hope you don't mind, but I really do need to take a piss." Slightly taken aback by this vulgarity, he suggests she go behind a nearby hedge. She nods in agreement and disappears behind the shrubbery. As he waits, he can hear the sound of her tight panties rolling down her long legs and imagines what is being exposed. Unable to contain his animal thoughts a moment longer, he reaches through a gap in the foliage, and his hand touches her leg. He quickly brings his hand further up her thigh until suddenly, and with great astonishment, he finds himself gripping a long, thick appendage that's hanging between her legs. He shouts in horror, "My God, Claudette, I had no idea you were actually a man!" "No, you don't understand!" she replies. "I changed my mind, I'm taking a crap instead."
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has 74.05 % from 132 votes. More jokes about: animal, couple, disgusting, god, Valentines day
Q: What can popsicles do that men can't? A: Come in five flavors.
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has 52.18 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: disgusting