Joke #1440

Q: What's the difference between an epyleptic oyster shucker and a prostitute with diahrrea? A: One shucks between fits.

Q: Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? A: Finding half a worm."

What went through the fly's mind as he hit the windshield? His Butt!

Q: How do you embarrass an archaeologist? A: Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from

I've accepted every email offer I've ever received. My penis is now 235 feet long.

Q: What did the fool do with his first 50 cent piece? A: He Married Her

Q: Why did the referee stop the leper hockey game? A: There was a face-off in the corner.

There were these two bums and they were hungry when they came across road kill. The first bum went down to eat it when he looked up at his friend and said, "Oh I'm sorry, would you like some?" He replied, "No I think I'll wait." So they continue down the road and the first bum said, "Look - some more road kill, I'm still hungry. How about you?" His friend replied, "No, not yet, I think I'll wait." The first bum ate the road kill. Shortly after, his eyes rolled back and he puked the whole thing back up on the street. Seconds later, his friend dove in and ate every last slickery drop of the puke. The first bum said, "I thought you weren't hungry?" His friend replied, "I was always hungry, I just wanted a warm meal."

I see, said the blind man, peeing into the wind. It's all coming back to me now.

A doctor complains to his colleagues about the sanitary problems at a latex glove factory in Mexico. "Workers stick their hands in melted latex and then dip their hands in a vat of cooling water to solidify the latex. The glove is then thrown in a finished products box." His colleagues are disgusted by the lack of care taken in keeping the gloves sanitary. "That's not all," says the doctor. "You don't even want to know how they make their condoms!"

What did Obi Wan say when Luke was constipated? "Use the F-O-R-C-E Luke!"