Joke #4794

Say, "Do I smell popcorn?" right after you fart. So everybody takes a big whiff.
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has 64.72 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: disgusting

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A couple walked into the supermarket. They looked confused, so a clerk walked up to them and asked them what they wanted. The couple asked for a couple of lottery tickets. He gave the tickets to them, and they paid for them. The husband looked confused again. He asked the clerk, “What the hell do I do with these damn things?” The clerk replied, “Well, you're supposed to scratch the box and see if you've won anything.” The wife looked disgusted. "Oh please," she muttered. "What?" asked the clerk. "Oh nothing," she answered, "it's just that, well, he's been scratching down there for years, and he ain't won a damn thing."
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has 54.26 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, husband
How do you make a dead baby float? Take your foot off of it’s head.
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has 38.14 % from 126 votes. More jokes about: black humor, dead baby, disgusting, morbid
At a restaurant, one of the customers notices that all of the waiters have two spoons in their vest pockets. A waiter explains, "We see that the most frequently dropped silverware is spoons, therefore we keep them for replacement." Then the customer notices a string hanging out of all the waiters' flies. "The string is for us to go to the bathroom," explains the waiter. "That way, when we pull it, it shoots and aims straight, and we don't need to use our hands." The customer asks, "Well, that's how you get it out, but how do you get it back in?" The waiter replies, "Well, that's another reason we carry the spoons."
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has 51.67 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: animal, disgusting, food
Q: Why was the condom flying through the air? A: It got pissed off.
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has 68.45 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: disgusting
Q: What's the ultimate rejection? A: When you're masturbating and your hand falls asleep.
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has 73.55 % from 358 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, masturbation
There was this guy who was sick,so he went to the doctor. The doc ran some tests and sent him home with some medicine. The next day the doctor called and the wife answered. "I'm going to need to run a few more tests", the doctor said. "I'm going to need a semen, urine and a fecal sample". After she hung up the husband asked, "What did the doctor say?" "He needs a pair of your underwear".
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has 72.26 % from 90 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, doctor, drug, husband, wife
Do you know what would be sick? If you sat in Santa's lap and you felt him get a boner. Do you know what would be even worse? If he stood up and you were still sitting in his lap.
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has 58.75 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: disgusting
If there are two people in an elevator and one of them farts everybody knows who did it.
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has 65.80 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, fart
Q: What did the butcher say when he backed into the meat-grinder? A: Looks like I'm getting a little behind in my work!
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has 44.92 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, work
A little nine year old girl was in church with her mother when she started feeling ill. "Mommy" she said "Can we leave now?" "No" her mother replied. "Well, I think I have to throw up!" "Then go out the front door and around to the back of the church and throw up behind a bush." In about two minutes the little girl returned to her seat. "Did you throw up?" her mother asked. "Yes" the little girl replied. "Well, how could you have gone all the way to the back of the church and return so quickly?" "I didn't have to go out of the church, Mommy" the little girl replied, "They have a box next to the front door that says 'for the sick'."
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has 61.71 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: catholic, church, disgusting, kids