Say, "Do I smell popcorn?" right after you fart.
So everybody takes a big whiff.
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Q: What does an elephant use as tampon?
A: A sheep.
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Q: Why did the cowboy have sh*t in his mustache?
A: Cuz he'd been lookin for love in all the wrong places.
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Do you know what would be sick?
If you sat in Santa's lap and you felt him get a boner.
Do you know what would be even worse?
If he stood up and you were still sitting in his lap.
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Q: Whats the Diffenence between kinky and perverted?
A1: Kinky is when you tickle your girl friends ass with a feather.
A2: Perverted is when you use the whole chicken...
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What did the tampon say to the other tampon in school?
I'll see you next period.
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A couple walked into the supermarket.
They looked confused, so a clerk walked up to them and asked them what they wanted.
The couple asked for a couple of lottery tickets.
He gave the tickets to them, and they paid for them.
The husband looked confused again.
He asked the clerk, “What the hell do I do with these damn things?”
The clerk replied, “Well, you're supposed to scratch the box and see if you've won anything.”
The wife looked disgusted. "Oh please," she muttered.
"What?" asked the clerk.
"Oh nothing," she answered, "it's just that, well, he's been scratching down there for years, and he ain't won a damn thing."
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Jim and Lena were driving around the countryside when they ran over a skunk.
"We better take the skunk to the vet, Lena.
Just put the skunk between your legs to keep it warm."
"But, Jim, what about the smell?"
"Don't worry, Lena. The skunk will get used to it."
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What's green and yellow and eats nuts?
Gonorrhea.
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Why are contipated folks unkind and rude?
Cause they don't give a crap!
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Being single is cool cause you can eat a whole jar of pepperoncinis and spend the rest of the night farting spicily into the abyss.
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