Joke #4794

Say, "Do I smell popcorn?" right after you fart. So everybody takes a big whiff.

Q: How do you know when it's bedtime at Michael Jackson's house? A: The big hand touches the little one.

Cannibal Son: Mom, I don't like my brother anymore. Cannibal Mother: You shut up and eat!

Q: What do parsley and pubic hair have in common? A: You push them both aside when you eat.

Three little boys were sitting around talking about their fathers. The first boy said, "My dad can blow smoke rings." The second boy said, "My dad can blow smoke rings out of his nose." The third boy said, "Well, my dad can blow smoke rings out of his butt." The first and second boys where amazed. The second boy said, "Have you seen him do it?" "No," said the third boy, "but I've seen the tobacco stains on his underwear."

What do you give Mikey for his 18th birthday? A 90 year old woman, because Mikey will eat anything.

A: What does 70-year-old p***y taste like? A: Depends.

A demon died and was asked by god what he wanted to become in his next life. The demon said "I wish to become good in my next life. I want to be as pure and white as an angel and also have angel wings... But I still want to drink blood." So god turned him into a maxi pad.

A little nine year old girl was in church with her mother when she started feeling ill. "Mommy" she said "Can we leave now?" "No" her mother replied. "Well, I think I have to throw up!" "Then go out the front door and around to the back of the church and throw up behind a bush." In about two minutes the little girl returned to her seat. "Did you throw up?" her mother asked. "Yes" the little girl replied. "Well, how could you have gone all the way to the back of the church and return so quickly?" "I didn't have to go out of the church, Mommy" the little girl replied, "They have a box next to the front door that says 'for the sick'."

What do you call a masturbating cow? Beef Stroke-n-off

I don't like the term "anal bleaching". I prefer "changing your ringtone."