Say, "Do I smell popcorn?" right after you fart.
So everybody takes a big whiff.
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A hitchhiker walks down the road. Unfortunately, he has the runs and has to stop every 15 minutes.
A truck driver stops and offers a ride, but warns him that he won't stop for anything.
About 10 minutes on the road, the hitchhiker begs the truck driver to stop, and the driver tells him, "Stick your butt out the window if you have to go so bad."
The hitchhiker sticks his butt out the window and lets loose.
Unfortunately, he doesn't notice the two guys walking on the roadside.
Sprayed with feces, the first guy wipes his face and says, "What are them truckers chewing these days?"
The second guy wipes his face and says, "I don't know, but did you see the lips on that guy?"
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Why did God give women legs?
So they don't leave a trail like a slug.
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A demon died and was asked by god what he wanted to become in his next life.
The demon said "I wish to become good in my next life. I want to be as pure and white as an angel and also have angel wings... But I still want to drink blood."
So god turned him into a maxi pad.
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Boy Monster: Did you get the big red heart I sent you for Valentine's?
Girl Monster: Yes, I did. Thank you.
Boy Monster: Is it still beating?
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What's red and sits in a corner?
A baby playing with a razor blade.
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How do you make a dead baby float?
Take your foot off of it’s head.
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Q: What compliment do you NOT want from a midget?
A: Wow! Your hair smells good!
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What is more disgusting than a pile of 100 dead babies?
One live one in the middle is eating its way out.
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Why do babies have a soft spot in their heads?
So you can pick them up five at a time
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Q: Did you hear about the redneck who was shooting craps?
A: He blew a hole in the toilet.
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