Joke #152

What do you call a woman who has lost 95% of her intelligence? Divorced.
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has 35.01 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: divorce, women

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2 girls meet: "Me & my husband are no longer together..." "Why?" "Well, could you live with a person who smokes weed, drinks, has no job and always cusses?" "No, of course I couldn't!" "Well he couldn't either!"
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has 85.09 % from 180 votes. More jokes about: divorce, husband, weed, women, work
These two guys had just gotten divorces and they swore they would never have anything to do with women again. They were best friends and they decided to move up to Alaska as far north as they could go and never look at a woman again. They got up there and went into a trader’s store and told him, "Give us enough supplies to last two men for one year." The trader got the gear together and on top of each one’s supplies he laid a board with a hole in it with fur around the hole. The guys said "What’s that board for?" The trader said, "Well, where you’re going there are no women and you might need this." They said "No way! We’ve sworn off women for life!" The trader said, "Well. take the boards with you, and if you don’t use them. I’ll refund your money next year." "Okay," they said and left. Next year this guy came into the trader’s store and said "Give me enough supplies to last one man for one year." The trader said, "Weren’t you in here last year with a partner?" "Yeah" said the guy. "Where is he?" asked the trader. "I shot him" said the guy. "Why?" "I caught him in bed with my board."
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has 78.89 % from 291 votes. More jokes about: divorce, geography, sex, travel, women
I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man I keep his house.
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has 77.17 % from 58 votes. More jokes about: divorce, mean, men, money, women
A woman finds out that her husband is cheating on her, so she decides to leave him a present. When he gets home, he finds an empty house, a bowl of cookies, and a video. He scarfs down the cookies, and pops in the video. On TV, he sees his wife sucking his best friend's d**k. He comes in her mouth, and she immediately spits the jizz into a bowl of cookie dough. Then she turns to the camera. "Oh, hello, I want a divorce."
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has 63.04 % from 63 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, divorce, food, husband, women
Miss DeAngelo was a not-too-bright young woman who had moved to Hollywood with dreams of becoming a star. She didn’t find fame or glory, but she did encounter plenty of men willing to enjoy her plentiful charms, and soon she found herself called to testify in a divorce case. When it was her turn on the stand, the lawyer came forward. "Miss DeAngelo, the wife of the defendant has identified you as the ‘other woman’ in her husband’s life. Now, do you admit that you went to the Pricerite Motel with this Mr. Evans?" "Well, yes," acknowledged Miss DeAngelo with a sniff, "but I couldn’t help it." "Couldn’t help it?" asked the lawyer derisively. "How’s that?" "Mr. Evans deceived me." "Exactly what do you mean?" "See, when we signed in," she explained, "he told the motel clerk I was his wife."
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has 48.41 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, divorce, marriage, wife, women
Question: What do you call a woman who has lost 95 percent of her intelligence? Answer: Divorced.
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has 27.88 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: divorce, women
Q: Why did Frosty the Snowman want a divorce? A: He thought his wife was a flake.
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has 25.64 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: divorce, marriage, wife
Everyone says the world would be better off if it was run by women. Sure, maybe there wouldn't be violence and territorial conquests fueled by male testosterone. But instead, we'd have a bunch of jealous countries that aren't talking to each other.
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has 73.68 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: women
A Woman asks a Waiter What is this fly doing in my Ice cream? The waiter says, "SHIVERING MADAM".
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has 48.02 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: women
Mommy Bear and Daddy Bear were in divorce court. The judge looked down and asked the Baby Bear, "So Baby Bear, do you want to live with Daddy Bear?" "Oh, no," Baby Bear replied, "I don't want to live with Daddy Bear. He beat me." "Well then, you should live with Mommy Bear," answered the judge. "On, no, I don't want to live with Mommy Bear. She beat me." "Well then, Baby Bear, who do you want to live with?" Baby Bear said, "I want to live with the Chicago Bears. They don't beat anybody!"
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has 75.63 % from 269 votes. More jokes about: animal, baby, divorce, sport