Joke #1961

Question: What do you call a woman who has lost 95 percent of her intelligence? Answer: Divorced.
Vote: has 32.79 % from 20 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: divorce, women

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

2 girls meet: "Me & my husband are no longer together..." "Why?" "Well, could you live with a person who smokes weed, drinks, has no job and always cusses?" "No, of course I couldn't!" "Well he couldn't either!"
Vote: has 80.74 % from 76 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: divorce, husband, weed, women, work
These two guys had just gotten divorces and they swore they would never have anything to do with women again. They were best friends and they decided to move up to Alaska as far north as they could go and never look at a woman again. They got up there and went into a trader’s store and told him, "Give us enough supplies to last two men for one year." The trader got the gear together and on top of each one’s supplies he laid a board with a hole in it with fur around the hole. The guys said "What’s that board for?" The trader said, "Well, where you’re going there are no women and you might need this." They said "No way! We’ve sworn off women for life!" The trader said, "Well. take the boards with you, and if you don’t use them. I’ll refund your money next year." "Okay," they said and left. Next year this guy came into the trader’s store and said "Give me enough supplies to last one man for one year." The trader said, "Weren’t you in here last year with a partner?" "Yeah" said the guy. "Where is he?" asked the trader. "I shot him" said the guy. "Why?" "I caught him in bed with my board."
Vote: has 77.67 % from 200 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: divorce, geography, sex, travel, women
A woman finds out that her husband is cheating on her, so she decides to leave him a present. When he gets home, he finds an empty house, a bowl of cookies, and a video. He scarfs down the cookies, and pops in the video. On TV, he sees his wife sucking his best friend's d**k. He comes in her mouth, and she immediately spits the jizz into a bowl of cookie dough. Then she turns to the camera. "Oh, hello, I want a divorce."
Vote: has 70.70 % from 40 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting, divorce, food, husband, women
Miss DeAngelo was a not-too-bright young woman who had moved to Hollywood with dreams of becoming a star. She didn’t find fame or glory, but she did encounter plenty of men willing to enjoy her plentiful charms, and soon she found herself called to testify in a divorce case. When it was her turn on the stand, the lawyer came forward. "Miss DeAngelo, the wife of the defendant has identified you as the ‘other woman’ in her husband’s life. Now, do you admit that you went to the Pricerite Motel with this Mr. Evans?" "Well, yes," acknowledged Miss DeAngelo with a sniff, "but I couldn’t help it." "Couldn’t help it?" asked the lawyer derisively. "How’s that?" "Mr. Evans deceived me." "Exactly what do you mean?" "See, when we signed in," she explained, "he told the motel clerk I was his wife."
Vote: has 50.29 % from 29 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: celebrity, divorce, marriage, wife, women
What do you call a woman who has lost 95% of her intelligence? Divorced.
Vote: has 38.99 % from 32 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: divorce, women
Q: What did one female terrorist say to the other? A: "Does my bomb look big in this?"
Vote: has 63.66 % from 28 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, terrorist, women
John asks his wife, Mary, what she wants to celebrate their 40th wedding anniversary. “Would you like a new Mink Coat?” he asks. “Not really,” says Mary. “Well how about a new Mercedes sports car?” says John. “No,” she responds. “What about a new vacation home in the country?” he suggests. She again rejects his offer with a, “No thanks.” Frustrated he finally asks, “Well what would you like for your anniversary?” “John, I’d like a divorce,” answers Mary. John thinks for a moment and replies “Sorry dear, I wasn’t planning to spend that much.”
Vote: has 63.66 % from 28 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: anniversary, car, divorce, men, wife
There were three nuns, they all told the priest that they were going to do one sin each. So the priest says ok, do your sins, come back, and I’ll bless you. So, they went to do their sins and came back to get blessed. The priest asked the first one who was laughing what her sin was. She said, "I had sex with a guy." The priest said ok, blessed her and said go drink some holy water. So she did! The next one was laughing harder, and the priest asked her what her sin was. She said, "I got in a fight with another nun." So he says ok, blessed her and told her to go drink some holy water. So she did. The priest asked the last one who was laughing even harder what she did. And as she was laughing she said, "I pissed in the holy water!"
Vote: has 80.12 % from 276 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: priest, sex, women
Q: What comes with the new Divorced Barbie doll? A: All Ken's stuff.
Vote: has 55.11 % from 30 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: divorce, marriage
Why do men die before their wives? They want to.
Vote: has 44.46 % from 107 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: death, women