Joke #1573

Why does it take 100 million sperm to fertilize one egg? Because not one will stop and ask for directions.
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has 58.51 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: men

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Sid and Irv are business partners. They make a deal that whichever one dies first will contact the living one from the afterlife. So Irv dies. Sid doesn't hear from him for about a year, figures there is no afterlife. Then one day he gets a call. It's Irv. "So there is an afterlife! What's it like?" Sid asks. "Well, I sleep very late. I get up, have a big breakfast. Then I have sex, lots of sex. Then I go back sleep, but I get up for lunch, have a big lunch. Have some more sex. Take a nap. Huge dinner. More sex. Go to sleep, and wake up the next day." "Oh, my God," says Sid "So that's what heaven is like?" "Oh no," says Irv. "I'm not in heaven. I'm a bear in Yellowstone Park."
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has 66.77 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: men
Girl: "Girls are better than boys." Boy: "Then why did God make boys first?" Girl: "Duh, you have to have a rough draft before the final copy."
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has 58.99 % from 59 votes. More jokes about: men, women
How many men does it take to screw a light bulb? A. One - men will screw anything. B. One - men will screw up anything. C. Five - one to actually do the screwing, four to listen to him brag about it.
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has 61.96 % from 58 votes. More jokes about: light bulb, men
How is being at a singles bar different from going to the circus? At the circus the clowns don't talk.
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has 18.37 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: men
Husband: What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you? Wife: Turn sideways and look in the mirror.
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has 51.34 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: men
What does a man make best for dinner? Reservations.
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has 68.33 % from 107 votes. More jokes about: men
When you have a man staring at a naked Playboy model, be sure that he doesn’t wonder if she knows cooking, or if she plays piano or if she has a nice personality either!
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has 58.75 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: food, men, music
A man ask his wife, "What would you do if I won the lottery?" Wife says, "I would take half and leave you". Man says, "Great! I have won a tenner, here a fiver now f*ck off!
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has 69.86 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: men
We are already 2 years together with my girlfriend and decided to get married. My parents helped as much as they could and all my my friends said it’s a really good idea! My girlfriend? She is a dream! But there is something that bothers me! This something is her little sister… This is my future 20 years old sister-in-law , wearing a super skinny, mini skirts and short blouses. Always lean ahead and I was often lucky to see her underwear. She never did that in front of someone else! One day she calls me and asks me to go home to see the wedding invitations. When I arrived she was alone. She whispered that soon I get married and that she has feelings for me for long time and that she thinks she cann’t overcome them. She also said that she desperately wanted to have sex with me just once before I marry her sister. I was shocked and could not say a word… She said to me that she goes to bed and asked if I wanted to go up with her. I froze and looked at her going up the stairs. Going up, she took her panties off and threw it at me. I stayed there for a moment and then ran to the door. I opened it and I walked to the car. My future father-in-law was standing outside with tears in his eyes, hugged me and said: "I’m glad you passed this little test and I am sure that my daughter could not find a better man. Welcome to the family, my son!" Moral Lesson: Always keep your condoms in your car!
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has 84.69 % from 969 votes. More jokes about: car, family, marriage, men, relationship
How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper? Who knows? - It hasn't happened yet!!
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has 39.47 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: men