Joke #1573

Why does it take 100 million sperm to fertilize one egg? Because not one will stop and ask for directions.
Vote: has 58.56 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

Any married man should forget his mistakes, there's no use in two people remembering the same thing.
Vote: has 67.88 % from 20 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men
A woman went shopping. She walks to checkout counter and then the salesman packs all her groceries: milk, cheese, orange juice, half of bread, bar of soap, toothpaste... All of a sudden the salesman asks her: "You're single, aren't you?" A bit surprised woman smiles and answers: "That's right, but how did you guessed that?" "Because you're so ugly."
Vote: has 61.28 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men
Men and women were created equal but women continued to improve.
Vote: has 18.69 % from 7 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men
We are already 2 years together with my girlfriend and decided to get married. My parents helped as much as they could and all my my friends said it’s a really good idea! My girlfriend? She is a dream! But there is something that bothers me! This something is her little sister… This is my future 20 years old sister-in-law , wearing a super skinny, mini skirts and short blouses. Always lean ahead and I was often lucky to see her underwear. She never did that in front of someone else! One day she calls me and asks me to go home to see the wedding invitations. When I arrived she was alone. She whispered that soon I get married and that she has feelings for me for long time and that she thinks she cann’t overcome them. She also said that she desperately wanted to have sex with me just once before I marry her sister. I was shocked and could not say a word… She said to me that she goes to bed and asked if I wanted to go up with her. I froze and looked at her going up the stairs. Going up, she took her panties off and threw it at me. I stayed there for a moment and then ran to the door. I opened it and I walked to the car. My future father-in-law was standing outside with tears in his eyes, hugged me and said: "I’m glad you passed this little test and I am sure that my daughter could not find a better man. Welcome to the family, my son!" Moral Lesson: Always keep your condoms in your car!
Vote: has 88.58 % from 554 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: car, family, marriage, men, relationship
Why do men buy electric lawn mowers? So they can find their way back to the house.
Vote: has 22.18 % from 6 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men
Yesterday, government scientists suggested that men should take a look at their beer consumption, considering the results of a recent analysis that revealed the presence of female hormones in beer. The theory is that drinking beer makes men turn into women. To test the finding, 100 men were fed 6 pints of beer each. It was then observed that 100% of the men gained weight, talked excessively without making sense, became overly emotional, couldn't drive, failed to think rationally, argued over nothing, and refused to apologize when wrong. No further testing is planned.
Vote: has 68.63 % from 29 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: beer, men, political, science, women
Five Important Qualities 1. It's important to have a woman, who helps at home, who cooks from time to time, cleans up and has a job. 2. It's important to have a woman, who can make you laugh. 3. It's important to have a woman, who you can trust and who doesn't lie to you. 4. It's important to have a woman, who is good in bed and who likes to be with you. 5. It's very, very important that these four women do not know each other.
Vote: has 88.71 % from 352 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men
A man rushes out of his wife's hospital room. "Doctor, doctor -- my wife's been in a coma for several months, but when I just touched her left breast, she sighed!" "That's very encouraging," says the doctor. "Go back and touch her right breast. See if she reacts." A few minutes later, the man rushes out again: "Doctor, she moaned!" "Very good," says the doctor. "Now try oral sex. She should certainly react to that!" Five minutes later, the man comes out back out, white as a sheet. "Doctor -- she died." "No! What happened?" the doctor exclaims. "Well, doc," the man says tearfully, "she choked."
Vote: has 43.21 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men
A man goes to the vet about his dog's fleas. The vet says: "I'm sorry, I'll have to put this dog down." The man is incredulous and asks why. The vet says: "Because he's far too heavy."
Vote: has 73.89 % from 20 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men
Q. What is the one thing that all men at singles bars have in common? A. They're married.
Vote: has 60.56 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: bar, marriage, men, single