Joke #1573

Why does it take 100 million sperm to fertilize one egg? Because not one will stop and ask for directions.
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has 56.05 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: men

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Three men were at a bar discussing coincidences. The first man said, "My wife was reading A Tale of Two Cities and she gave birth to twins." "That’s funny," the second man remarked, "My wife was reading The Three Musketeers and she gave birth to triplets." The third man shouted, "Oh my, I have to rush home!" When asked what the problem was, he exclaimed, "When I left the house, my wife was reading Ali Baba and the Forty Thieves!"
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has 82.93 % from 79 votes. More jokes about: men
Two strangers meet on a golf course and decide to play together. One man says, "I'm a salesman. What about you?" "I'm a hit man for the mob," replies the second man. He pulls out a high powered rifle loaded with scopes and sights. He then asks the man where he lives. Nervously, the first man replies, "In a subdivision just west of here. Gray roof, yellow siding." "You got a silver compact and a red pickup?" "The compact is my wife's car, but that's my buddy Jeff's truck." The hit man looks through the scope again. "Well, they're going at it like teenagers in your bedroom." "I want you to shoot her in the head and shoot him in the balls." The hit man says, "I get paid $5,000 per shot." "I don't care! Just do it!" The hit man takes careful aim and says, "This is your lucky day. You're going to get a two for one!"
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has 71.63 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: car, golf, men, money, wife
Woman to her husband while at it: "Please say dirty things to me!" Man: "Bath, Kitchen, Living room..."
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What is a man's idea of foreplay? A half hour of begging.
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(A) You are not Tom Cruise, (B) The guns may stop working at the last moment, (C) The Enemy is 1000 times intelligent than you, (D) Your family might not like the amount of compensation on your behalf (E) Just remember, "the safest way to win over your enemies is by making them your friends!"
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has 17.81 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, family, friendship, men, work
Why do men like love at first sight? It saves them a lot of time.
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has 35.23 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: men
Why do women make better soldiers? Because they can bleed for a week and not die.
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has 66.27 % from 73 votes. More jokes about: death, men, military, women
How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart? When she starts a sentence with, "A man once told me..."
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has 62.50 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: men, women
Q. Why did the woman bury her husband 12 feet under? A. Because deep down he's a good person.
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has 57.36 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: men
Q: Why are men so happy? A: Because ignorance is bliss.
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has 30.11 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: men