Why does it take 100 million sperm to fertilize one egg? Because not one will stop and ask for directions.
Q: What would it be a good idea for you to do after a man takes your wife? A: Let him keep her!
How do some men define Roe vs. Wade? Two ways to cross a river.
Woman to her husband while at it: "Please say dirty things to me!" Man: "Bath, Kitchen, Living room..."
Q: What would men do if they had breasts? A: They'd stay at home and play with them all day.
Eleven people were hanging on a rope under a helicopter, ten men and one woman. The rope was not strong enough to carry them all, so they decided that one has to drop off, otherwise they are all going to fall. They were not able to choose that person, but then the woman made a very touching speech. She said that she would voluntarily let go of the rope, because as woman she was used to giving up everything for her husband and kids, and for men in general, without ever getting anything in return. As soon as she finished her speech, all the men started clapping their hands.
After being away on business, Tim thought it would be nice to bring his wife a little gift. "How about some perfume?" he asked the cosmetics clerk. She showed him a $50.00 bottle. "That’s a bit much," said Tim, so she returned with a smaller bottle for $30.00. "That’s still quite a bit," Tim complained. Growing annoyed, the clerk brought out a tiny $15.00 bottle. "What I mean," said Tim, "is I’d like to see something really cheap." The clerk handed him a mirror.
Q: What does a shot of Everclear and a Woman have in common? A: Both of them make men start talking nonsense!
Q. How do men define a long-term relationship? A. A second date.
How is Colonel Sanders like the typical male? All he's concerned with is legs, breasts, and thighs.
God gave man his penis and his brain but blood only enough to work one another at a time.