Why does it take 100 million sperm to fertilize one egg? Because not one will stop and ask for directions.
How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb? ONE......He just holds it up there and waits for the world to revolve around him.
Q. Why do men name their penises? A. Because they don't want ninety per cent of their decisions made by a perfect stranger.
Why do men want to vote for a female President? Because we'd only have to pay her half as much.
Q. Why don't women blink during foreplay? A. They don't have time.
Why do only 10% of men make it to heaven? Because if they all went, it would be Hell.
Q: What does a shot of Everclear and a Woman have in common? A: Both of them make men start talking nonsense!
Q: Why is it jewish men won't go down on a woman? A: Too close to the gas chamber.
Men are like.....Government bonds. They take so long to mature.
A man walks into a clock shop where a beautiful woman is working. He walks to the counter unzips his fly and pulls out his cock. The woman screams "excuse me sir this is a CLOCK SHOP". I know replied the man "I want two hands and a face put on this".
Two hunters shot a deer, and were dragging him to the car by the hind leg, which was difficult because the other legs kept snagging in the brush. "Chet, I've got an idea, I think we are doing this wrong. Let's try dragging him by the horns, like we were advised by the ammo-store salesman." "OK," says Ivan. After a while, Ivan says, "I think this is a lot better because his legs fold up and don't get caught in the brush, but we seem to be getting farther from the car."