Two men walked into a restaurant, the first one asks for tea. The second also asks for tea. "And make sure the glass is clean," he tells the waiter. When the waiter returns with the two glasses of tea he asks, "Which one of you asked for the clean glass?"
Why didn't the husband change the baby for a week? Because the text on the nappies package said "18-40 lbs".
What's the quickest way to lose 190 pounds of ugly fat? Divorce him.
How does a man save a woman from being attacked on the street at night? He controls himself.
"What is the thickest book in the world? What Men Think They Know About Women."
Three women were sitting around throwing back a few drinks and talking about their sex lives. Karen said, "I call my husband the dentist because nobody can drill like he does." Joanne giggled and confessed, "I call my husband the miner, because of his incredible shaft." Kathy quietly sipped her whiskey until Joanne finally asked, "Well, what do you call your boyfriend?" Kathy frowned and said, "The postman." Looking puzzeled Joanne asked, "Why the postman?" "Because… he always delivers late and half the time it’s in the wrong box."
How can you tell if a man is happy? Who cares?
How do some men define Roe vs. Wade? Two ways to cross a river.
Question: How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart? Answer: When she starts her sentence with, “A man once told me…”
If men got pregnant.... abortion would be available in convenience stores and drive-through windows.
What does a man make best for dinner? Reservations.