Two men walked into a restaurant, the first one asks for tea. The second also asks for tea. "And make sure the glass is clean," he tells the waiter. When the waiter returns with the two glasses of tea he asks, "Which one of you asked for the clean glass?"
Why do men buy electric lawn mowers? So they can find their way back to the house.
Men are divided into two groups: 50% are wise and 50% have married.
How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart? When she starts a sentence with, "A man once told me..."
Boy: "You know unlike all these other guys, I can make you really happy" Girl: "Why are you leaving?"
Q: What do you get when you cross a penis and a potato? A: A dic-tater.
What's the difference between Big Foot and an intelligent man? Big Foot's been spotted several times.
Why didn't the husband change the baby for a week? Because the text on the nappies package said "18-40 lbs".
Men are like Bluetooth. When they’re close they’re connected, when they move further they start looking for new equipment.
Q: When is the only time a guy can multi-task? A: When he's watching porn, masturbating, and keeping an eye on the door at the same time...