Why do so many gays have mustaches?
To hide the stretch marks.
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Q: What does a homo say to another gay going on vacation?
A: Can I help you pack your shit?
Construction worker on the 5th floor of a building needed a handsaw.
So he spots another worker on the ground floor and yells down to him, but he can't hear him.
So the worker on the 5th floor tries sign language.
He pointed to his eye meaning "I", pointed to his knee meaning "need", then moved his hand back and forth in a hand saw motion.
The man on the ground floor nods his head, pulls down his pants, whips out his chop and starts masturbating.
The worker on 5th floor gets so pissed off he runs down to the ground floor and says, "What the fuck is your problem!!!
I said I needed a hand saw!".
The other guy says, "I knew that! I was just trying to tell you - I'm coming!"
Little Johnny comes home one day and says, "Mom! Little Mark next door has a penis like a peanut!"
"What do you mean, Johnny? Is it shaped like a peanut?"
"No," says Johnny. "It's salty."
Vote:
"It's a boy," I shouted, as tears began to roll down my cheeks.
"I can't believe it, it really is a boy."
That's when I swore never to return to Thailand.
Q: How do u call an gay Indian guy.
A: Indi-anus
Mr. Bear and Mr. Rabbit live in the same forest, but they don't like each other.
One day, they come across a golden frog who offers them three wishes each.
Mr. Bear wishes that all the other bears in the forest were female. Mr. Rabbit wishes for a crash helmet.
Mr. Bear's second wish is that all the bears in the neighboring forests were female as well. Mr. Rabbit wishes for a motorcycle.
Mr. Bear's final wish is that all the other bears in the world were female, leaving him the only male bear in the world.
Mr. Rabbit revs the engine of his motorcycle and says, "I wish that Mr. Bear was gay!" and rides off.
Two lovers fall on hard times and decided to rob a bank together.
The first lover plans the robbery and goes over the plan with the second lover in great detail.
The robbery begins.
The first lover drives up in front of the bank, stops the car and says to the other lover, "I want to make absolutely sure you understand the plan.
You are supposed to be in and out of the bank in no more than three minutes with the cash.
Do you understand the plan?"
"Perfectly," he said.
He goes in the bank while the other waits in the getaway car.
One minute passes, two minutes pass...seven minutes pass - and the first lover is really stressing out.
Finally, the bank doors burst open and out he comes. He's got a safe wrapped up in rope and is dragging it to the car.
About the time he gets the safe in the trunk of the car, the bank doors burst open again with the security guard coming out.
The guard's pants and underwear are down around his ankles while he is firing his weapon.
As the guys are getting away, the first lover says "I thought you understood the plan!"
The second lover said, "I did! I did exactly what you said!"
"No, you idiot," he replied. "You got it all mixed up.
I said tie up the GUARD and blow the SAFE!"
I think my sons gay...I took off the seat of his bike, and he didn't notice.
What does a gay man and an ambulance have in common?
They both get loaded from the rear and go whoo-whoo!
There were two guys at a gym Dan and Mike who hit the showers after a hard morning workout.
Dan said to Mike "Hey! Have you heard? That there is a gay guy at our gym today."
The Mike looking really curious and replies "Oh? Who do you think he is?"
Dan looks at Mike from mid-section to eye level and, says "Let me give you a kiss first before I tell you who."