One day a nun was standing on the side of the road waiting for a cab.
A cab stopped and picked her up.
During the ride she noticed that the driver was staring at her.
When she asked him why, he said, "I want to ask you something, but I don't want to offend you."
She said, "You can't offend me.
I have been a nun long enough that I have heard just about everything."
The cab driver then said, "Well, I've always had a fantasy to have a nun give me a blow job."
She said, "Well, perhaps we can work something out under two conditions.You have to be single, and you have to be Catholic."
Immediately the cab driver said, "Oh, yes!I'm single and I'm Catholic!"
The nun said, "Okay, pull into that alley."
The cab driver pulled into the alley and the nun went to work.
Shortly afterwards, the cab driver started crying.
The nun said, "My child, what's the matter?"
He said tearfully, "Sister, I have sinned. I lied, I lied...I'm married and I'm Jewish!"
The nun replied, "That's okay. My name's Bruce and I'm on my way to a costume party!"
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Construction worker on the 5th floor of a building needed a handsaw.
So he spots another worker on the ground floor and yells down to him, but he can't hear him.
So the worker on the 5th floor tries sign language.
He pointed to his eye meaning "I", pointed to his knee meaning "need", then moved his hand back and forth in a hand saw motion.
The man on the ground floor nods his head, pulls down his pants, whips out his chop and starts masturbating.
The worker on 5th floor gets so pissed off he runs down to the ground floor and says, "What the fuck is your problem!!!
I said I needed a hand saw!".
The other guy says, "I knew that! I was just trying to tell you - I'm coming!"
What does a gay man and an ambulance have in common?
They both get loaded from the rear and go whoo-whoo!
What''s the difference between a gay rodeo and a straight rodeo?
At a straight rodeo everyone yells, "Ride that sucker"
Two Rabbits are running from a group of foxes.
They hide in a pile of hay, one rabbit says to the other one "Ok we can run for it or we can stay here and out number them."
And the other rabbit says, "We're going to run for it you idiot I'm your brother."
Q: What's the difference between a cook and a gay?
A: The cook stirs today's lunch, whereas the gay stirs yesterday's dinner.
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A man asks a guy if he likes fishdicks, the stupid guy answers like this because he thinks that he said fishsticks so he says,
"Yes, I Love them."
Then the man asks him again and says "Do you like having them in your mouth?"
Then the stupid Guy answears like this "Yes I like them in my mouth says the stupid guy confused"
Then the man says "What are you, a gayfish?"
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Did you hear about the homosexual electron?
Went around blowing fuses.
Q: What did one gay sperm say to the other gay sperm?
A: "How are we supposed to find an egg in all this sh*t?"
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Q: What do gay horses eat?
A: Hay.