Men are like.....Weather.
Nothing can be done to change either one of them.
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A man is strolling past the mental hospital and suddenly remembers an important meeting.
Unfortunately, his watch has stopped, and he cannot tell if he is late or not.
Then, he notices a patient similarly strolling about within the hospital fence.
Calling out to the patient, the man says, "Pardon me, sir, but do you have the time?"
The patient calls back, "One moment!" and throws himself upon the ground, pulling out a short stick as he does.
He pushes the stick into the ground, and, pulling out a carpenter's level, assures himself that the stick is vertical.
With a compass, the patient locates north and with a steel ruler, measures the precise length of the shadow cast by the stick.
Withdrawing a slide rule from his pocket, the patient calculates rapidly, then swiftly packs up all his tools and turns back to the pedestrian, saying, "It is now precisely 3:29 pm, provided today is August 16th, which I believe it is."
The man can't help but be impressed by this demonstration, and sets his watch accordingly.
Before he leaves, he says to the patient, "That was really quite remarkable, but tell me, what do you do on a cloudy day, or at night, when the stick casts no shadow?"
The patient holds up his wrist and says, "I suppose I'd just look at my watch."
Q: What 80's rock band is banned from New Orleans and why?
A: The Scorpions. Every time they're in town, they rock you like a hurricane.
Why does a man prefer blondes?
Men always like intellectual company.
Chuck Norris used to date Hurricane Katrina.
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"Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools talk because they have to say something."
Tornadoes have sirens to warn them when Chuck Norris is coming.
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Every time Chuck Norris farts a hurricane forms.
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Three old guys are out walking.
First one says, “Windy, isn’t it?”
Second one says, “No, its Thursday!”
Third one says, “So am I. Let’s go get a beer.”
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Any married man should forget his mistakes, there's no use in two people remembering the same thing.