Joke #1598

Men are like.....Weather. Nothing can be done to change either one of them.
Vote:
has 31.97 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: men, weather

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

A man is strolling past the mental hospital and suddenly remembers an important meeting. Unfortunately, his watch has stopped, and he cannot tell if he is late or not. Then, he notices a patient similarly strolling about within the hospital fence. Calling out to the patient, the man says, "Pardon me, sir, but do you have the time?" The patient calls back, "One moment!" and throws himself upon the ground, pulling out a short stick as he does. He pushes the stick into the ground, and, pulling out a carpenter's level, assures himself that the stick is vertical. With a compass, the patient locates north and with a steel ruler, measures the precise length of the shadow cast by the stick. Withdrawing a slide rule from his pocket, the patient calculates rapidly, then swiftly packs up all his tools and turns back to the pedestrian, saying, "It is now precisely 3:29 pm, provided today is August 16th, which I believe it is." The man can't help but be impressed by this demonstration, and sets his watch accordingly. Before he leaves, he says to the patient, "That was really quite remarkable, but tell me, what do you do on a cloudy day, or at night, when the stick casts no shadow?" The patient holds up his wrist and says, "I suppose I'd just look at my watch."
Vote:
has 79.91 % from 138 votes. More jokes about: hospital, men, time, weather
Q. What is Snoop Dog's favorite weather? A. Drizzle
Vote:
has 59.19 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: life, music, weather
I was sitting in the waiting room of the hospital after my wife had gone into labour and the nurse walked out and said to the man sitting next to me, "Congratulations sir, you’re the new father of twins!" The man replied, "How about that, I work for the Doublemint Chewing Gum Company." The man then followed the woman to his wife’s room. About an hour later, the same nurse entered the waiting room and announced that Mr. Smith’s wife has just had triplets. Mr. Smith stood up and said, "Well, how do ya like that, I work for the 3M Company." The gentleman that was sitting next to me then got up and started to leave. When I asked him why he was leaving, he remarked, "I think I need a breath of fresh air." The man continued, "I work for 7-UP."
Vote:
has 77.95 % from 104 votes. More jokes about: dad, hospital, men, nurse, wife
Yo mama so fat she the one that caused global warming when she farted.
Vote:
has 37.36 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: fart, fat, weather, Yo mama
Every time Chuck Norris farts a hurricane forms.
Vote:
has 34.13 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, fart, weather
Tornadoes have sirens to warn them when Chuck Norris is coming.
Vote:
has 54.77 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, weather
Camilla goes to the doctors and says "Doctor, whenever one sucks Charlie's cock one gets a stomach ache." The doctor says "Have you tried Andrew's?"
Vote:
has 58.52 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: doctor, men, sex
Two gays were at a dance. As they were jigging about the floor with each other. Two massive guys entered the hall 6 foot 6 20 stone and full of muscle One gay asked his mate "Is that the bouncers that have just come in?" "No" grinned the other,"That's the raffle."
Vote:
has 56.65 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: dirty, gay, men, party
A man goes into a florist and says, "I want to buy some flowers for my girlfriend". "Certainly sir", she responds, "and what in particular are you after"? After some thought, the man answers, "a shag".
Vote:
has 80.05 % from 67 votes. More jokes about: dirty, love, men, relationship, sex
Mattel is coming out with a talking Barbie. They say it was easy to get Barbie to talk. The problem was getting Ken to listen.
Vote:
has 26.16 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: men