Joke #7943

Why do men name their penises? Because they want to be on a first-name basis with the one who makes all their decisions.
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has 54.97 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: men

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Mum: "How would you describe me?" Dad: "ABCDEFGHIJK" Mum: "What does that mean?" Dad: "Adorable, beautiful, cute, delightful, elegant, funny, graceful, helpful, intelligent." Mum: "What about JK?" Dad: "Just Kidding."
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has 83.29 % from 103 votes. More jokes about: communication, mean, men, women
A man and his ever nagging wife were on holiday in Jerusalem, when the wife suddenly died. The funeral company told the man that it would cost 45000 to ship her home or $500 to bury her in Jerusalem. The husband said "ship her home". Shocked, the undertaker asked "but sir, why don't you bury her in the Holy Land and save the money ?" The husband replied "a long time ago, a man was buried here and 3 days later, he rose from the dead ... I cant take the chance !"
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has 80.37 % from 87 votes. More jokes about: death, holiday, men, money, wife
Two cowboys come upon an Indian lying on his stomach with his ear to the ground. One of the cowboys stops and says to the other, "You see that Indian?" "Yeah," says the other cowboy.  "Look," says the first one, "he's listening to the ground. He can hear things for miles in any direction."  Just then the Indian looks up. "Covered wagon," he says, "about two miles away. Have two horses, one brown, one white. Man, woman, child, household effects in wagon." "Incredible!" says the cowboy to his friend. "This Indian knows how far away they are, how many horses, what colour they are, who is in the wagon, and what is in the wagon. Amazing!"  The Indian looks up and says, "Ran over me about a half hour ago."
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has 57.98 % from 178 votes. More jokes about: animal, cowboy, life, men, women
Why do black widow spiders kill their males after mating? To stop the snoring before it starts.
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has 29.01 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: animal, men
Why does a man prefer blondes? Men always like intellectual company.
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has 31.06 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: blonde, men
Single women claim that all the good men are married, while all married women complain about their lousy husbands. This confirms that there is no such thing as a good man. This confirms too, that women are always confused and don't know what they want.
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has 76.19 % from 86 votes. More jokes about: marriage, men, single, women
Why do women pay more attention to their appearance than improving their minds? Because most men are stupid, but few are blind.
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has 50.64 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: men, stupid, women
God gave man his penis and his brain but blood only enough to work one another at a time.
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has 62.63 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: god, men, work
A group of girlfriends is on vacation when they see a 5-story hotel with a sign that reads: "For Women Only." Since they are without their boyfriends and husbands, they decide to go in. The Bouncer, a very attractive guy, explains to them how it works. "We have 5 floors. Go up floor by floor, and once you find what you are looking for, you can stay there. It's easy to decide since each floor has a sign telling you what's inside." The women start going up and on the first floor the sign reads: "All the men here have it short and thin." The friends laugh and without hesitation move on to the next floor. The sign on the second floor reads: "All the men here have it long and thin." Still, this isn't good enough so the friends continue on up. They reach the third floor and the sign reads: "All the men here have it short and thick." They still want to do better, and so, knowing there are still two floors left, they continued on up. On the fourth floor, the sign is perfect: "All the men here have it long and thick." The women get all excited and are going in when they realize that there is still one floor left. Wondering what they are missing, they head on up to the fifth floor. There they find a sign that reads: "There are no men here. This floor was built only to prove that there is no way to please a woman."
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has 77.25 % from 451 votes. More jokes about: husband, men, sex, women
Men are like.....Vacations. They never seem to be long enough.
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has 34.09 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: holiday, men