Joke #7943

Why do men name their penises? Because they want to be on a first-name basis with the one who makes all their decisions.
Vote: has 54.26 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

What did God say after creating man? I can do better.
Vote: has 57.83 % from 68 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: god, men
John: I didn't sleep with my wife before we were married. Did you? Bob: I'm not sure. What was your wife's maiden name?
Vote: has 87.44 % from 261 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: marriage, men, wife
A guy walks into an antique store and buys a grandfather clock, he walks out of the shop with it and accidentally walks into a drunk guy. (they both fall over and the clock gets smashed to bits) The guy says to the drunk, "Why don't you watch where your going?" and the drunk says, "Why don't you carry a wrist watch like everybody else?"
Vote: has 76.80 % from 29 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men
Two guys die in a car accident and an angel descends from heaven. "I am to give you your wings so you can fly to heaven. But if you think one dirty thought or act out one dirty act your wings will fall off." So they fly to heaven without any trouble but when they get there the first guy sees a naked woman walk by so his wings falll off. When he bends over to pick them up the second guy's wings fall off.
Vote: has 76.80 % from 29 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men
He: Since I first laid eyes on you, I've wanted to make love to you in the worst way. She: Well, you succeeded.
Vote: has 34.87 % from 8 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men
A family went to a nudist camp for their vacation. The young son came back to the tent and said, "Wow, Mom! You should see some of those girls. They've got these HUGE..." "Yes, well," his mother sniffs. "The larger they are, the dumber the woman." Next day the boy comes back to the tent again. "You wouldn't believe some of the guys out there. They have these HUGE..." "Yes, well, like I said, the bigger they are, the dumber the man." "Really?" the boy said, frowning with puzzlement. "We might be in trouble, Mom." "Why, honey?" "Because Dad's out there talking to a really stupid girl, and he's getting dumber by the minute."
Vote: has 72.24 % from 7 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men
There's 3 army generals and the government decides to pay them any way they want measured. First guy says measure from the tip of my toe to the end of my finger. So they do and its 73 inches so they pay him $730,000. The second guy does the same and gets paid $650,000. The third guy goes measure from the tip of my penis to the back of my balls. They say OK drop your pants, so he does and they measure. "You have no balls" they say. "Yes I do," he replies, "they're still in Vietnam.
Vote: has 70.40 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men
This french guy he wants to learn English. So one day he goes to an airport to learn "take off". Then he goes to the zoo to learn "zebra". Then he goes to the hospital "baby" So one day he walks up too a hot girl on a beach in a bikini and he said "Take off zebra baby" (take off the bra baby).
Vote: has 53.58 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men
How do men define a "50/50" relationship? We cook-they eat; we clean-they dirty; we iron-they wrinkle.
Vote: has 24.11 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men, relationship
I stopped at a friend's house the other day and found him stalking around with a fly-swatter. When I asked if he was getting any flies, he answered: "Yeah, three males and two females." Curious, I asked how he could tell the difference. He said: "Three were on a beer can and two were on the phone."
Vote: has 74.94 % from 32 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men