Why do men name their penises?
Because they want to be on a first-name basis with the one who makes all their decisions. 
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Why do female black widow spiders kill the males after mating?
To stop the snoring before it starts.
A man has 6 items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of Dial soap and a towel from the Holiday Inn.
The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 437.
A man would not be able to identify most of these items.
Q:How many divorced men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A:None, the sockets go with the house.
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A man walking down the streets sees another man with a very big dog.
One man says to the other, "Does your dog bite?"
The man replies, "No my dog doesn't."
The man pats the dog and has his hand bitten off, "I thought you said your dog didn't bite" said the injured man.
"Thats not my dog", replied the other.
Men are divided into two groups: 50% are wise and 50% have married.
Q. Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good-looking?
A. They already have boyfriends.
Q: How many men does it take to put down a toilet seat?
A: Who knows it's never been done.
Q: Why do liberals travel in threes?
A: One to read, one to write and the other one to keep an eye on both intellectuals.
When a woman gets a vibrator, it's seen as a bit of naughty fun. But when a guy orders a 240 volt Fuckmaster Pro 5000 blowup latex doll with 6 speed pulsating pussy, elasticized anus with non-drip semen collecting tray, together with optional built-in realistic orgasm scream 7.1 sound system, he's called a pervert.
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