Why do men name their penises? Because they want to be on a first-name basis with the one who makes all their decisions.
What do men and sperm have in common? They both have a one-in-a-million chance of becoming a human being.
How do some men define Roe vs. Wade? Two ways to cross a river.
Q. What is the one thing that all men at singles bars have in common? A. They're married.
Boy: "Do you like parties?" Girl: "Yes, why?" Boy: "Well then jump in my pants and have a ball!"
Hi, I see that you're new to this gym, and I wanna be the first male to bother you.
Q: Why are men so happy? A: Because ignorance is bliss.
A man standing at a urinal notices that he's being watched by a midget. "Wow," comments the midget. "Those are the nicest balls I have ever seen!" Surprised and flattered, the man thanks the midget and continues to pee. Suddenly, the midget pulls up a step ladder right next to the urinal and says, "Listen, I know this is a rather strange request, but as they're so admirable, I wonder if I could take a closer look." Again the man is rather startled, but sees no real harm in it. Just then, the midget reaches out, gets a tight grip on the man's balls, and says, "OK, hand me your wallet, or I'll jump off the ladder!"
Why do men ask for a woman's hand in marriage? Because they are tired of using their own.
Men call us birds, is that because of all the worms we pick up?
How do most men compare to Mel Gibson? They have everything he has, except talent, money, and looks.