Joke #1691

What do you call a mexican having a shower? A miracle.

Q: What is the difference between northern and southerner fairytales? A: Northerner starts off with "Once upon a time..." a southerner starts with "listen to this shit..."

What did God say when he created the first nigger? Opps, I put the pubes on his head.

What do you call a nigger with a regular job, who doesn’t drive a lowrider, sleeps in the same bed every night, doesn’t collect welfare, and doesn’t rape White women? An inmate.

In the winter of 1926, Thelma Goldstein from Chicago treated herself to her first real vacation in Florida. Being unfamiliar with the area, she wandered into a restricted hotel in North Miami. "Excuse me," she said to the manager. "My name is Mrs. Goldstein, and I’d like a small room for two weeks." "I’m awfully sorry," he replied, "but all of our rooms are occupied." Just as he said that, a man came down and checked out. "What luck," said Mrs. Goldstein. "Now there’s a room. "Not so fast, Madam. I’m sorry, but this hotel is restricted. No Jews allowed." "Jewish? Who’s Jewish? I happen to be Catholic." "I find that hard to believe. Let me ask you, who was the Son of God?" "Jesus, Son of Mary." "Where was he born?" "In a stable." "And why was he born in a stable?" "Because a schmuck like you wouldn’t let a Jew rent a room in his hotel!"

What do you call a bunch of mexicans running down the hill? A mudslide.

What do you do if you see a black man flopping around on the ground? Stop laughing and reload.

There was an Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman working on the top of a cliff. The Englishman said, "If I have cheese in my sandwich tomorrow, I'll jump off this cliff." The Scotsman said, "If I have jam in my sandwich tomorrow, I'll jump off the cliff." The Irishman said, "If I have ham tomorrow, I'll jump off the cliff." The next day, the Englishman had cheese, the Irishman had ham, and the Scotsman had jam. So they all jumped. At the funerals, the wives of the Scotsman and Englishman said, "Why didn't they just tell us they didn't like their sandwiches?" The Irish lady said, "I don't know why my husband jumped off the cliff. He made his own sandwiches."

Chuck Norris can't be racist, because to him there are no people, just light and dark targets.

Q: How do you know if a Chinese tried to rob your house? A: You get home and your maths homework is done, your computer is upgraded, and two hours later He is still trying to back out of your driveway.

Why do black people go to the Liberty Bell? They heard there was some crack in it.