American tourist in Moscow found himself needing to get rid of a large supply of garbage from his recent stay at an apartment. After a long search, he just couldn't find any place to discard of it. So, he just went down one of the side streets to dump it there.
Yet, he was stopped by a Moscow police officer, who said, "Hey you, what are you doing?"
"I have to throw this away," replied the tourist.
"You can't throw it away here. Look, follow me," the policeman offered.
The police officer led him to a beautiful garden with lots of grass, pretty flowers, and manicured hedges. "Here," said the cop, "dump all the garbage you want."
The American shrugs, opens up the large bags of garbage, and dumps them right on the flowers.
"Thanks for giving me a place to dump this stuff. This is very nice of you. Is this Russian courtesy?" asked the tourist.
"No. This is the American Embassy."
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A: Because he had no car!
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A: Borderlands.
A white guy goes into a bar and sees a black bartender.
He says, "yo, nigger, get me a beer!"
The bartender says, "that's very rude. How would you like it if I talked to you like that?"
The white guy says, "let's switch places and see!"
So they switch places.
The bartender says, " yo, cracka, get me a beer!"
The white guy says, "sorry, we don't serve niggers here!"
A Jewish boy asked his father "Father, can you lend me 50 dollars?"
The father replied, "40 dollars, What do you need 30 dollars for?"
Q: What did the black guy say to the white guy?
A: How my dick taste.
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Hitler calls a meeting of his best soldiers and commanders and tells them "Alright I want to order the assassination of one thousand jews and four hedgehogs."
Then one of his generals stands and says "But... Mein furhur why four hedgehogs?"
Hitler then smiles and says "See? No one gives a f*ck about the jews."
I'm not racist cuz racism is a crime, and crime ends in jail, and jail is for blacks.
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What did God say when he made the first black man?
"Damn, I burnt one."
Q: Why do white people scare black people?
A: Cause they always try kill your ass.
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