Joke #1707

How many cop jokes are there? Just two, all the rest are true!
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A traffic Policeman recently stopped a woman for exceeding the posted speed limit. He asked the driver her name. She said, "I'm Mrs. Chadivaler Zuminskagia Ragretumunga from the Republic of Uzbetikan visiting my daughter in Columbia." As she finished speaking the cop paused for a moment and then put away his summons book and pen, and said, "Well... OK... but don't let me catch you speeding again."
Vote: has 39.32 % from 15 votes. Send joke:
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How does an LA policeman go fishing? He catches one fish, then beats it until it tells him where the others are.
Vote: has 73.20 % from 89 votes. Send joke:
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Why did the policeman carry a pencil and a piece of very thin paper? He wanted to trace someone.
Vote: has 39.90 % from 9 votes. Send joke:
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A man was going to bed one night when his wife told him that he had left the light on in the shed. She could see the light was on from the bedroom window. As the man looked for himself he saw that there were people in the shed taking things. The man phoned the police, but they told him that no one was in the area to help him at that time, but they would send someone over as soon as they were available. He said "OK," hung up, and waited one minute, then phoned the police back. "Hello" he said, "I just called you a minute ago because there were people in my shed. Well, you don't have to worry about them now 'cause I've shot them." Within five minutes there were half a dozen police cars in the area, an Armed Response unit, the works. Of course, they caught the burglars red-handed. One of the officers said: "I thought you said that you shot Them!" The man replied, "I thought you said there was nobody available!"
Vote: has 60.69 % from 38 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: cop, phone, wife
A lawyer opened the door of his BMW, when suddenly a car came along and hit the door, ripping it off completely. When the police arrived at the scene, the lawyer was complaining bitterly about the damage to his precious BMW. “Officer, look what they’ve done to my Beeeeemer!!!”, he whined. “You lawyers are so materialistic, you make me sick!!!”, retorted the officer. “You’re so worried about your stupid BMW, that you didn’t even notice that your left arm was ripped off!” “Oh no!”, replied the lawyer, finally noticing the bloody left shoulder where his arm once was. “Where’s my Rolex???!!!”
Vote: has 66.96 % from 35 votes. Send joke:
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The policeman tells Johny at the police station following: "The thief who wanted to steal your wallet has got: a broken nose, three broken ribs, a concussion of the brain and he misses a bunch of his hair at the back of his head."Please, tell me Johny, how much money did you have in your wallet?" Johny: "Only three euros." The policeman: "Goodness! I suppose that if you would have ten euros in your wallet, the thief would probably not survive your self-defense-trial."
Vote: has 63.17 % from 17 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: cop, little Johnny, money
Why did the policman cry? because he couldn"t take his Panda to bed!
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Yo' Mama is so stupid, when she was pulled over for drunk driving and asked to walk a line, she said, "Which one?"
Vote: has 42.61 % from 14 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: car, cop, drunk, stupid, Yo mama
A black guy and his black girlfriend are in a car. Who's driving? "The cop!"
Vote: has 49.86 % from 462 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: black people, car, cop, racist
Two truck drivers trying to drive under a bridge. Driver, "Oh no, the height of bridge is 2.7m and our truck is 3m." 2nd driver, "it's ok, just go, there is no cops around."
Vote: has 56.86 % from 14 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: cop, life