Joke #1707

How many cop jokes are there? Just two, all the rest are true!
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has 29.93 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: cop

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A cop asks a nigger: Can you legitimate yourself? Is this because I’m black?
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has 15.59 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: cop
One day a Georgia state patrolman pulled a car over for speeding about 20 miles from the Florida line on I-95. When the officer asked the driver why he was speeding, the driver answered that he was a magician and juggler and was on his way to Jacksonville to do a show that night and didn't want to be late. The patrolman told the driver that he was fascinated by juggling and if the driver would do a little juggling for him that he wouldn't give him a ticket. The juggler told him that he had sent all of his equipment on ahead and didn't have anything to juggle. The patrolman told him that he had some flares in the trunk of his car and asked if he could juggle them. The juggler said he could, so the patrolman got three flares, lit them and handed them to the juggler. While the man was doing his juggling act, a car pulled up behind the patrol car and a drunk got out and looked at the show, and then went to the patrol car, opened the back door and got in. The patrolman saw him do this and went over to his car, opened the door and asked the drunk what he thought he was doing. The drunk replied, "Just go on and take me to jail..... there's no way in the world that I can pass that test.
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has 64.28 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: car, cop
How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one, but he is never around when you need him.
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has 40.67 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: cop, light bulb
Why was the picture sent to jail? It was framed.
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has 60.65 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: cop
On a rural road a state trooper pulled this farmer over and said: "Sir, do you realize your wife fell out of the car several miles back?" To which the farmer replied: "Thank God, I thought I had gone deaf!"
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has 75.28 % from 73 votes. More jokes about: car, cop, god, wife
A squad car driver was covering a quiet beat out in the sticks when he was amazed to find a former lieutenant on the police force covering the beat. He stopped the car and asked, "Why, Irish Mike, this wouldn't be your new beat out here in the sticks, would it?" "That it is, "Irish Mike replied grimly, "ever since I arrested the judge on his way to the masquerade ball." "You mean you pinched his honor?" asked Pat. "How was I to know that his convict suit was only a costume?" demanded Mike. "Well," mused Pat, "there's a lesson in this somewhere." "That there is," replied Irish Mike...." 'Tis wise never to book a judge by his cover."
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has 46.54 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: cop
Officer: "I'm arresting you for downloading all of Wikipedia." Man: "No wait! I can explain everything!"
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has 57.52 % from 112 votes. More jokes about: cop, IT
A Mexican and a nigger are riding in car. Who's driving? A cop!
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has 59.17 % from 1056 votes. More jokes about: black people, car, cop, racist
After a day fishing in the ocean a fisherman is walking from the pier carrying two lobsters in a bucket. He is approached by the Game Warden who asks him for his fishing license. The fisherman says to the warden, "I did not catch these lobsters, they are my pets. Everyday I come done to the water and whistle and these lobster jump out and I take them for a walk only to return them at the end of the day." The warden, not believing him, reminds him that it is illegal to fish without a license. The fisherman turns to the warden and says, "If you don't believe me then watch," as he throws the lobsters back into the water. The warden says, "Now whistle to your lobsters and show me that they will come out of the water." The fisherman turns to the warden and says, "What lobsters?"
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has 71.27 % from 150 votes. More jokes about: animal, cop, dirty, fish
A gang of thieves broke into a blood bank last night and stole a hundred pints of blood. Police are still hunting for the clots.
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has 52.41 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: cop, hunting