Q: What do you call an alligator in a vest?
A: An Investigator
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Q: Did you hear about the dyslexic, agnostic insomniac?
A: He stayed up all night wondering if there was a dog.
Did you hear about the skunk who sat on a fan?
He got cut off without a scent.
A hound dog lays in the yard and an old man in overalls sits on the porch.
"Excuse me, sir, but does your dog bite?" a jogger asks.
The old man looks over his newspaper and replies, "Nope."
As soon as the jogger enters the yard, the dog begins snarling and growling, and then attacks the jogger's legs.
As the jogger flails around in the yard, he yells, "I thought you said your dog didn't bite!"
The old man mutters, "Ain't my dog."
What has four legs and goes, "Oom! Oom!"?
A cow walking backwards.
A man is walking through the wood and he meets a really ugly, big and a fat frog.
The frog says: "Hello, prince if you kiss me, I will fulfill you one wish. You can wish whatever you want."
The man says: "Ok, I will kiss you."
He kisses the frog, he has told her his wish but nothing has happened.
And the frog said: "Now you can see, such an old man and still believes in fairy tales."
How much money did the bronco have?
Only a buck!
What to polar bears eat for lunch?
(Ice berg-ers!)
Yo Mamma so stupid she put on bug spray before she goes to the flee market!
What do you get from a cowmedian?
Cream of Wit.