Q: What do you get when 100 rabbits stand in a row and 99 take a step back?
A: A receding hare line.
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Chuck Norris eats gummy bears and shits out grizzly bears.
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Q: Why doesn't Tigger have any friends?
A: He plays with Pooh.
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A farmer was in a bar drinking and looking all depressed.
His friend asked him why he was looking depressed and he replied,
"Some things you just can't explain.
This morning I was outside milking a cow. As soon as the bucket was full the cow kicked it down with his left foot so I tied up his left foot to a pole.
I began to fill up the bucket again and he kicked it down with his right foot, so I tied his right foot to a pole too.
As soon as I finished milking the cow again he knocked down the bucket with his tail and I took off my belt and tied up his tail with my belt.
As I was tying up his tail, my pants dropped down, then my wife came out and well, trust me, some things you just can't explain."
Where do rabbits settle their legal disputes?
In a pellet court!
Q: What do you get when you cross a rooster with a jar of peanut butter?
A: A cock that sticks to the roof of your mouth.
Sharks watch Chuck Norris week.
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What's a pet's favorite day?
Saint Petrick's Day.
It was a hot summer night.
Slowly I spread her legs and my hand was trying to find its way to her nipple...
I was so excited! I never milked a cow before...
If toast always lands butter-side down and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast to the back of a cat and drop it?