Joke #1753

Q: What happens if you eat yeast and shoe polish? A: Every morning you'll rise and shine!
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has 75.94 % from 586 votes. More jokes about: kids

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Two starving cannibals, a father and son, were out trying to get something to eat. They walked deep into the jungle and waited by a path. Before long, along came a little old man. The son said, "Oh Dad, there’s one." "No," said the father. "There’s not enough meat on that one to even feed the dogs. We’ll just wait." A little while later, along came a really fat man. The son said, "Hey dad, he’s big enough." "No," the father said. "We’d all die of a heart attack from the fat in that one. We’ll just wait." About an hour later, there came this absolutely gorgeous woman. The son said, "Now there’s nothing wrong with that one Dad, let’s eat her." "No," said the father. "Were not going to eat her either." "Why not?" asked the son. "Because, we’re going to take her back alive, and eat your mother."
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has 68.80 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: kids
Suzy asked her big sister Samantha how babies are made. Samantha explains it to her. "I still don't get it? Can you show me." Suzy says. "OK. Tonight, I will let you watch will my boyfriend, Jack and I screw." That night, Jack laid Samantha 5 times but Suzy still didn't understand. The next night Jack was tired of Suzy watching so he offered to have sex with her. "OK but I don't want Samantha to watch" So Samantha went outside. They are in there for almost an hour and when they come out Jack is smiling like crazy. "That was fun but I still don't get it." Says Suzy The next day the same thing happened. And the next day. Finally 2 weeks later Samantha comes home crying. "Whats wrong," Suzy says. "Jack dumped me. He said there was someone better." Said Samantha. "Let's go talk to him maybe we can change his mind," said Suzy. When they got there Jack said he made up his mind and there was nothing they could do to change it. Then he asked to speak to Suzy privately. He pulled off all of Suzy's clothes and started to screw her. "OK," Jack said kissing Suzy's neck "I broke up with Samantha now tell me how you got to be so good in bed." "Fine." She replied, "I asked all my other sisters how babies are made."
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has 69.45 % from 85 votes. More jokes about: baby, kids, sex, stupid, time
Chuck Norris had six kids, they were called SEAL TEAM 6.
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has 34.70 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, kids, military
When is a door sweet and tasty? When its jammed!
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has 35.66 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: kids
A young boy and his dad went out fishing one fine morning. After a few quiet hours out in the boat, the boy became curious about the world around him. He looked up at his dad and asked "How do fish breath under water?" His dad thought about it for a moment, then replied, "I really don’t know, son." The boy sat quietly from another moment, then turned back to his dad and asked, "How does our boat float on the water?" Once again his dad replied, "Don’t know, son." Pondering his thoughts again, a short while later, the boy asks "Why is the sky blue?" Again, his dad replied. "Don’t know, son." The inquisitive boy, worried he was annoying his father, asks this time "Dad, do you mind that I’m asking you all of these questions?" "Of course not son." replied his dad, "How else are you ever going to learn anything?"
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has 65.80 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: dad, fish, kids
Mom! I'm a 3D printer! Oh come on, Tommy, close the door when you poop.
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has 57.54 % from 86 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, kids, technology
Q: What do you call cheese that's not yours? A: Nacho cheese!;)
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has 63.78 % from 220 votes. More jokes about: kids
When Chuck Norris wants to burn calories, he throws fat kids into a camp fire.
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has 40.67 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, fat, kids
On a men's bathroom wall, someone had hastily scrawled, "I slept with your mother." Underneath it, another person had written, "Go home dad, you're drunk."
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has 74.17 % from 65 votes. More jokes about: dad, drunk, kids
The saddest moment for a child is not when he learns Santa Claus isn't real. It's when he learns Chuck Norris is.
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has 71.11 % from 218 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, kids, Santa