Q: What happens if you eat yeast and shoe polish?
A: Every morning you'll rise and shine! 
Similar jokes
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Four-year-old to her two-year-old sister: "Let's play Christmas. I'll be Santa Claus and you can be a present and I'll give you away."
Q: When does a pedophile go to sleep?
A: When the big hand touches the small one.
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A kid asks his father:
Kid: Daddy why do i have to go to bed?
Dad: Because the bed wont come to you.
A man and his little boy were walking through the park when a honeybee landed near them.
The boy ran over and stomped on it. The father gave him a lecture about having respect for living things and added, "Just for that you can’t have any honey for two weeks!"
Pretty soon a butterfly landed near them.
The boy ran over and stomped on it.
Again, the father gave him a lecture and added, "Just for that you can’t have any butter for two weeks!"
When they got home, they went into the kitchen, and a cockroach ran across the floor.
The mother ran over and stomped on it.
The boy said to his father, "Well do you want to tell her, or shall I?"
A group of children once said, "Red rover, red rover, send Chuck Norris over."
Those children were the dinosaurs.
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What did the green grape say to the purple grape?
Breath!!!!
The most expensive part of having kids is all the wine you have to drink.
Yo mama so nasty that when she goes to the universal studios children follow her shouting "Shrek! Shrek!"
The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled down his window.
"I've been waiting for you all day," the cop said.
The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could."
When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.
Q: What did the mother turkey say to her disobedient children?
A: If your father could see you now, he'd turn over in his gravy!
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