Joke #1753

Q: What happens if you eat yeast and shoe polish? A: Every morning you'll rise and shine!
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has 76.58 % from 575 votes. More jokes about: kids

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A businessman was flying on a plane surrounded by hundreds of kids. A lady went and sat down next to him. She asked, "Are these all your kids?" The man replied, "No, I just work at a condom factory, these are all the complaints".
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has 77.08 % from 105 votes. More jokes about: airplane, black humor, business, kids, sex
A white boy and a black boy were arguing one day. The white boy screams "God is white!" The black boy screams "God is black!" This goes on and on for about an hour when all of a sudden there comes a loud crack of lightning and the heavens open up and a booming voice says "I am what I am." The white boy jumps up and says "See, I told you so!" To which the black boy says "How does that prove God's white?" The white boy replies "Because if God were black he would have said, "I is what I is."
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has 59.97 % from 144 votes. More jokes about: black people, communication, insulting, kids, white people
Q: What did the adding machine say to the cashier? A: You can count on me.
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has 41.83 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: kids
A lawyer, a priest, and a young boy were in a plane that was going to crash, yet they only had 2 parachutes. The lawyer proclaimed that since he was the smartest man on the plane, that he deserved to survive. He took a chute and jumped. The priest looks and the young boy, and reflecting back on his life, told the young boy to take the last parachute since he had already lived a wonderful and full life. The boy replied, "You can have the other chute because the smartest man on this plane just jumped out with my bookbag!"
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has 84.57 % from 307 votes. More jokes about: kids, lawyer, priest
The devil visited a lawyer's office and made him an offer. "I can arrange some things for you," the devil said. "I'll increase your income five-fold. Your partners will love you; your clients will respect you; you'll have four months of vacation each year and live to be a hundred. All I require in return is that your wife's soul, your children's souls, and their children's souls rot in hell for eternity." The lawyer thought for a moment. "What's the catch?" he asked.
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has 73.02 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: kids, lawyer, money, wife
How do Chinese people name their kids? Throw a spoon down the stairs. CHING CHANG CHONG TING.
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has 48.58 % from 74 votes. More jokes about: kids, racist
He used to be a bottle baby, but when he reached the age of ten he pushed the cork out and escaped.
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has 29.42 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: kids
What is the hardest part of making shoe fly pie? Putting the shoes on the flies!
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has 12.34 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: kids
One day a mom was cleaning junior's room and in the closet she found a bondage S&M magazine. This was highly upsetting for her. She hid the magazine until his father got home and showed it to him. He looked at it and handed it back to her without a word. She finally asked him, "Well what should we do about this?" Dad looked at her and said, "Well I don't think you should spank him."
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has 51.86 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: kids
Dad tries to persuade his son to eat the egg he has prepared for him: "Eat your egg my child to become as big as daddy!" "I do not want," says the little one. "Eat it my boy to become strong and powerful." "I’m telling you, no!" insists the youngest. "My dear son eat your egg to make your bird grow." And the mom from the inside "George, you eat the egg… I’ll make burgers for the kid!"
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has 60.08 % from 55 votes. More jokes about: bird, dirty, food, kids