Joke #1753

Q: What happens if you eat yeast and shoe polish? A: Every morning you'll rise and shine!
Vote: has 76.55 % from 565 votes. Send joke:
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Wilfred had just learned his abc's and was very scared of doing them in front of the class. The teacher, though, told him that the best way to conquer his fears would be to just go ahead and do it. So, trembling, he stood in front of the class and began. "ABCDEFGHIJLKMNOQRSTUVWXYZ." "Very good, Wilfred. But you forgot the P. Where's the P? "It's running down my leg."
Vote: has 50.70 % from 17 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: kids
Should women have children after 35? "No, 35 children are enough!"
Vote: has 65.26 % from 399 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: age, kids, women
Little Lucy met Little Johnny after school and ask him, "Johnny do you you think I'm cute?" Little Johnny looked at her from head to toe irritably and replied. "Roses are red. Your blood is too. You look like a monkey. And belong in a zoo. Do not worry, I'll be there too. Not in the cage, But laughing at you".
Vote: has 60.15 % from 58 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: beauty, kids, little Johnny, mean, poems
In the dim and distant past, when life's tempo wasn't so fast, Grandma used to rock and knit, Crochet, tat and babysit. When the kids were in a jam, they could always call on Gram. However, today she's in the gym exercising to keep slim. She's checking the web or surfing the net, sending some e-mail or placing a bet. Nothing seems to stop or block her, now that Grandma's off her rocker.
Vote: has 54.97 % from 19 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: gym, kids, memory, old people, time
What's black and white, black and white, and black and white? (A panda bear rolling down a hill!)
Vote: has 38.22 % from 26 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: kids
Q: How do you make a tissue dance? A: Put a little boogey in it!
Vote: has 46.28 % from 54 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: kids, music
Eight-year-old Nina brought her report card home from school. Her marks were good…mostly A’s and a couple of B’s. However, her teacher had written across the bottom: "Nina is a smart little girl, but she has one fault. She talks too much in school. I have an idea I am going to try, which I think may break her of the habit." Nina’s dad signed her report card, putting a note on the back: "Please let me know if your idea works on Nina because I would like to try it out on her mother."
Vote: has 67.68 % from 24 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: kids, school, teacher
What's white, furry, and shaped like a tooth? (A molar bear!)
Vote: has 15.27 % from 72 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: kids
A lawyer, a priest, and a young boy were in a plane that was going to crash, yet they only had 2 parachutes. The lawyer proclaimed that since he was the smartest man on the plane, that he deserved to survive. He took a chute and jumped. The priest looks and the young boy, and reflecting back on his life, told the young boy to take the last parachute since he had already lived a wonderful and full life. The boy replied, "You can have the other chute because the smartest man on this plane just jumped out with my bookbag!"
Vote: has 84.89 % from 216 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: kids, lawyer, priest
Q: What did the adding machine say to the cashier? A: You can count on me.
Vote: has 32.79 % from 20 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: kids