Q: What happens if you eat yeast and shoe polish?
A: Every morning you'll rise and shine! 
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Son: "Dad, I'm cold..."
Dad: "Stand in a corner, they're usually ninety degrees!"
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A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party in a bar.
When she saw her dad donning his tuxedo, she warned: "Daddy, you shouldn't wear that suit.
"And why not, darling?", the father asked.
You know that it always gives you a headache the next morning."
A little girl is in line to see Santa.
When it's her turn, she climbs up on Santa's lap.
Santa asks, "What would you like Santa to bring you for Christmas?"
The little girl replies, "I want a Barbie and a G.I. Joe."
Santa looks at the little girl for a moment and says, "I thought Barbie comes with Ken."
"No," said the little girl.
"She comes with G.I. Joe, she fakes it with Ken."
"Dad, your Father's Day gift is another year of not having to pay for my wedding."
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The father with his daughter are taking a walk to a public place of their town;
"Ann! Why are you so nervously looking around?" observes the father.
"How else can I find you a really good son in law, dad?"
What's black and white, black and white, and black and white?
(A panda bear rolling down a hill!)
"Mommy, mommy, I found daddy!"
"How often do I have to tell you not to dig around in the garden!"
Q: What do you say when you meet a two-headed monster?
A: Hello, hello.
Q: What did the big turnip say to the little turnip
A: When did you turn up?
Kids dream about having superpowers.
Superpowers dream about having Chuck Norris.
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