Joke #3001

What did the green grape say to the purple grape? Breath!!!!
Vote: has 15.64 % from 35 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: kids

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

"I just had sexed in school today, dad! You lied to me! You told me if I have sex before my 16th biurthday, my boyfriend will die." "Oh, he will, sweetheart, he will."
Vote: has 65.94 % from 62 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, birthday, dad, kids, sex
A little boy was pushing a heavy cart uphill with a lot of effort. The work was very tiring, so someone walking nearby felt pity and helped the little boy push the heavy cart until the end of the hill. He stopped indignant there and told to the child: "You should say to your boss that it is a shame to make a kid such hard work to do." "I told them, sir." "Well, what did they reply?" "Pull kid and some sucker will be there to help you."
Vote: has 76.80 % from 29 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: god, kids, work
"Where did you born?" "At the hospital!" "Don’t tell me! And what were you in for?"
Vote: has 41.84 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: hospital, kids
How do teddy bears keep their den cool in summer? (They use bear conditioning!)
Vote: has 29.93 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: kids
Sometimes I wonder if I'm pregnant and then I realize I would have to be like 19 months pregnant.
Vote: has 60.56 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: kids, sex, single, time
Accountant after reading a nursery rhyme to his child,"No, son. It wouldn't be tax deductible when Little Bo Peep loses her sheep. But I like your thinking."
Vote: has 73.52 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: accountant, animal, kids, tax
Husband: "Good night mother of my three sons." Wife: "Same to you father of none."
Vote: has 73.89 % from 20 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dad, husband, kids, wife
My wife and I have reached a decision that we do not want children. If anybody does please just send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.
Vote: has 80.52 % from 49 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, kids, marriage
It was at an amusement park on a brutally hot day when I saw a father with 2 kids. "Who’s enjoying the most?" I asked cheerfully. "I am" said one. "I am" said the second. "No," the father said "their mother is!"
Vote: has 64.28 % from 25 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: kids
Two little boys, ages 8 and 10, are excessively mischievous. They are always getting into trouble and their parents know if any mischief occurs in their town, the two boys are probably involved. The boys’ mother heard that a preacher in town had been successful in disciplining children, so she asked if he would speak with her boys. The preacher agreed, but he asked to see them individually. The mother sent the 8 year old in the morning, with the older boy to see the preacher in the afternoon. The preacher, a huge man with a deep booming voice, sat the younger boy down and asked him sternly, "Do you know where God is, son?" The boy’s mouth dropped open, but he made no response, sitting there wide-eyed with his mouth hanging open. So the preacher repeated the question in an even sterner tone, "Where is God?!" Again, the boy made no attempt to answer. The preacher raised his voice even more and shook his finger in the boy’s face and bellowed, “Where is God?!" The boy screamed & bolted from the room, ran directly home and dove into his closet, slamming the door behind him. When his older brother found him in the closet, he asked "What happened?" The younger brother, gasping for breath, replied, "We are in BIG trouble this time!" "GOD is missing, and they think WE did it!"
Vote: has 84.20 % from 177 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, god, kids