Joke #1759

Two random variables were talking in a bar. They thought they were being discrete but I heard their chatter continuously.
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has 47.42 % from 68 votes. More jokes about: bar, math

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An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first orders a beer, the second orders half a beer, the third orders a quarter of a beer, and so on. After the seventh order, the bartender pours two beers and says, "You fellas ought to know your limits."
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has 71.59 % from 104 votes. More jokes about: animal, bar, food, math
Infinity mathematicians came to bar. First one ordered 1 glass of beer, second a half, third a quarter... The barman interrupted them: "Assholes, here are 2 beers!"
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has 64.51 % from 56 votes. More jokes about: bar, beer, math, nerd, vulgar
So Descartes goes into a bar late one night for a beer. At closing time, the bartender makes Last Call and asks him, "Get you another?" Descartes replies, "I think not." And disappears.
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has 50.54 % from 57 votes. More jokes about: bar, bartender, beer, math
A guy and a girl meet at a bar. They get along so well that they decide to go to the girl’s place. A few drinks later, the guy takes off his shirt and then washes his hands. He then takes off his pants and washes his hands. The girl watches him and says, “You must be a dentist” The guy, surprised, says “Yes…how did you figure that out?” The girl says, “Easy… you keep washing your hands." One thing led to another and they make love. After they were done, the girl says, “You must be a great dentist.” The guy, now with a boosted ego says, “Yes, I sure am a great dentist. How did you figure that out?” The girl says, “Easy… I didn’t feel a thing!”
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has 67.68 % from 62 votes. More jokes about: bar, dirty, doctor, love
Little cowboy runs into a Bar shouting angerly "WHO's the lousy varmint that painted my horse green?" A big cowboy sidles up to him and says "I DID.. want to complain to me?" "No," says the little guy "just wanted you to know that the first coat is dry!"
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has 59.75 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: bar, cowboy, dirty, disgusting, horse
A guy walks into the bar of a restaurant and goes to the bartender and asks "how much for a beer?" The bartender replies "$1". The customer completely amazed, orders a beer then asks the bartender "Well then how much for a NY sirloin, with side of mashed potatoes and salad, and an entire cheesecake for desert?" The Bartender reply's "$5". The guy still amazed then orders everything and after he is done eating his meal then says "Wow, this place is amazing, I really wish I could meet the owner of this place". The bartender then says "Oh well, he's upstairs in his office with my wife". The guy looks all confused then asks "What is he doing upstairs in his office with your wife?" The bartender then says "The same thing I'm doing to his business".
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has 85.61 % from 1912 votes. More jokes about: bar, bartender, beer, business, dirty
Old mathematicians never die - they just lose some of their functions.
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has 54.04 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: math
Q: Why do you rarely find mathematicians spending time at the beach? A: Because they can divide sin and cosine to get a tan!
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has 64.73 % from 63 votes. More jokes about: math
After a heavy night at the pub, a drunken man decides to sleep off his drunkenness at a local hotel. He approaches the reception desk, takes care of the formalities and heads off to his suite. Several minutes later, the drunk staggers back to the reception desk and demands his room be changed. "But sir," said the clerk, "you have the best room in the hotel." "I insist on another room!!!" said the drunk. "Very good, sir. I'll change you from 502 to 525. Would you mind telling me why you don't like 502?" asked the clerk. "Well, for one thing," said the drunk, "it's on fire."
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has 31.56 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, bar
Yo mammas so fat they had to make a new number.
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has 43.43 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: fat, insulting, math, Yo mama