Joke #1759

Two random variables were talking in a bar. They thought they were being discrete but I heard their chatter continuously.
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has 45.92 % from 72 votes. More jokes about: bar, math

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An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first orders a beer, the second orders half a beer, the third orders a quarter of a beer, and so on. After the seventh order, the bartender pours two beers and says, "You fellas ought to know your limits."
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has 75.05 % from 133 votes. More jokes about: animal, bar, food, math
Infinity mathematicians came to bar. First one ordered 1 glass of beer, second a half, third a quarter... The barman interrupted them: "Assholes, here are 2 beers!"
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has 57.04 % from 64 votes. More jokes about: bar, beer, math, nerd, vulgar
So Descartes goes into a bar late one night for a beer. At closing time, the bartender makes Last Call and asks him, "Get you another?" Descartes replies, "I think not." And disappears.
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has 46.00 % from 66 votes. More jokes about: bar, bartender, beer, math
Student: What’s infinity? Math Teacher: Think of a number. Student: Okay, I’ve got one. Teacher: Good. That’s not it.
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has 71.87 % from 416 votes. More jokes about: math
Q: What did one math book say to the other? A: Don't bother me I've got my own problems!
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has 63.05 % from 262 votes. More jokes about: math
Q: Why can't a blonde dial 911? A: Because she couldn't find the 11
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has 67.42 % from 259 votes. More jokes about: blonde, math, phone
A female alcoholic walks into a bar that has a sign marked: "For Men Only." "I'm sorry, ma'am," says the bartender. "We only serve men in this place." "That's OK, "she says, "I'll take one of them."
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has 24.26 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, bar
A man walks into a bar on the top floor of a skyscraper. He sits down and orders a beer. After taking a drink he sees the guy next to him go over to the window and jump out! "Holy cow! Did you see that!? That guy just jumped out the window!" The bartender does nothing. So the man takes another sip. A minute later the same guy walks in, orders another drink, chugs it, and jumps out the window again. "Jesus! He just jumped again!" The bartender ignores the man. So the man sits puzzled. The guy comes back into the bar, and orders another drink. "How did you survive that jump?" "I ordered a floatie drink, if you drink it in a certain amount of time, you can float." So the guy quickly orders a floatie drink. He takes it from the bartender, and chugs it. He then jumps out the window and... SPLAT! Right on the sidewalk! The Bartender then says, "You know, Superman... you can be a real jerk when youre drunk."
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has 58.58 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, bar, bartender, beer, celebrity
Chuck Norris can cross all Seven Bridges of Konigsberg, making all the current laws of Math, obsolete.
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has 31.45 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, math
A man walks into a bar with a dog. The bartender says, "You can't bring that dog in here." "You don't understand," says the man. "This is no regular dog, he can talk." "Listen, pal," says the bartender. "If that dog can talk, I'll give you a hundred bucks. "The man puts the dog on a stool, and asks him, "What's on top of a house?" "Roof!" "Right. And what's on the outside of a tree?" "Bark!" "And who's the greatest baseball player of all time?" "Ruth!" "I guess you've heard enough," says the man. "I'll take the hundred in twenties." The bartender is furious. "Listen, pal," he says, "get out of here before I belt you." As soon as they're on the street, the dog turns to the man and says, "Do you think I should have said 'DiMaggio'?"
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has 62.43 % from 68 votes. More jokes about: animal, bar, bartender, sport