Joke #1759

Two random variables were talking in a bar. They thought they were being discrete but I heard their chatter continuously.
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has 46.67 % from 69 votes. More jokes about: bar, math

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An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first orders a beer, the second orders half a beer, the third orders a quarter of a beer, and so on. After the seventh order, the bartender pours two beers and says, "You fellas ought to know your limits."
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has 72.04 % from 118 votes. More jokes about: animal, bar, food, math
Infinity mathematicians came to bar. First one ordered 1 glass of beer, second a half, third a quarter... The barman interrupted them: "Assholes, here are 2 beers!"
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has 59.12 % from 62 votes. More jokes about: bar, beer, math, nerd, vulgar
So Descartes goes into a bar late one night for a beer. At closing time, the bartender makes Last Call and asks him, "Get you another?" Descartes replies, "I think not." And disappears.
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has 51.31 % from 58 votes. More jokes about: bar, bartender, beer, math
A blonde is watching a ventriloquist perform at a bar and the ventriloquist, with his dummy, is telling blonde joke after blonde joke, filling the bar with laughter. After several of these jokes, the blonde stands up, infuriated, and yells, "Listen here, jack*ss. Not all blondes are stupid and the jokes need to stop, it is a very cheap way to get laughs." Stunned, the ventriloquist timidly begins to apologize, "Ma'am, I am so sorry. I had no idea I was offending anyone." The blonde replies, "Stay out of this, sir. I'm talking to that little sh*t on your knee!"
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has 53.18 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: bar, blonde, stupid
First Caribou: What kind of math do owls like? Second Caribou: Owlgebra.
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has 56.78 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: animal, math
A guy stumbles through the front door of a bar, ambles up to the bartender and orders a beer. The bartender looks at the drunk man and says,”I’m sorry sir, but I can’t serve you…you’ve already had too much to drink.” The guy swears and walks out of the bar. Five minutes later the guy comes flying through the side door of the bar, and yells for a beer. Again the bartender says,”I’m sorry, sir…but I can’t serve you…you’ve already had too much to drink!” Ten minutes later, the same guy comes barrel-assing through the back door of the bar, storms up to the bartender, and demands a beer. Again, the bartender says to the man…”I’m really sorry, sir, but you’ve had too much to drink…you’re going to have to leave!” The guy looks quizzically at the bartender and says finally, “My God, man… How many bars do you work at?!”
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has 71.40 % from 54 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, bar, bartender, beer, drunk
Q:Why is the number eight afraid of the number seven? A:Because seven ate nine.
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has 52.14 % from 87 votes. More jokes about: math
I came here to do 2 things: work on my math skills.
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has 74.71 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: math, work
Little Johnny was doing his math homework. He said to himself, "Two plus five, that son of a bitch is seven. Three plus six, that son of a bitch is nine." His mother heard what he was saying and gasped, "What are you doing?" The little boy answered, "I'm doing my math homework." "And this is how your teacher taught you to do it?" the mother asked. "Yes," he answered. Infuriated, the called Little Johnny's teacher the next day, "What are you teaching my son in class?" The teacher replied, "Right now, we are learning addition." The mother asked, "And are you teaching them to say two plus two, that son of a bitch is four?" After the teacher stopped laughing, she answered, "What I taught them was, two plus two, the sum of which is four."
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has 84.72 % from 1034 votes. More jokes about: little Johnny, math, teacher, work
Q: Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar? A: He got Avogadro's number!
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has 65.20 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: bar, chemistry, nerd