Q: What did one math book say to the other?
A: Don't bother me I've got my own problems! 
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Q. What mode do you use in maths?
A. Multi-plyers.
Q: Did you hear that joke about the infinite line?
A: Don’t worry, It doesn’t have a point!
Yo momma is so stupid when they asked her 1+1 she said "Ouch! it is a long story."
Q: What does the zero say to the the eight?
A: Nice belt!
Son: Dad, it's so cold in here!
Father: Go stand in the corner.
Son: Why?
Father: The corner is 90 degrees.
A team of engineers were required to measure the height of a flag pole.
They only had a measuring tape, and were getting quite frustrated trying to keep the tape along the pole.
It kept falling down, etc.
A mathematician comes along, finds out their problem, and proceeds to remove the pole from the ground and measure it easily.
When he leaves, one engineer says to the other: "Just like a mathematician! We need to know the height, and he gives us the length!"
"If you had a dollar," quizzed the teacher, "and you asked your father for another dollar and fifty cents, how much money would you have?"
"One dollar." answered little Johnny.
"You don't know your basic math." said the teacher shaking her head, disappointed.
Little Johnny shook his head too, "You don't know my daddy."
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Q:What do you get if you add two apples and three apples?
A:A high school math problem!
The local sheriff was looking for a deputy, so Gomer - who was not exactly the sharpest nail in the bucket went in to try out for the job.
"Okay," the sheriff drawled, "Gomer, what is 1 and 1?"
"11" he replied.
The sheriff thought to himself, "That's not what I meant, but he's right."
"What two days of the week start with the letter 'T'?"
"Today and tomorrow."
He was again surprised that Gomer supplied a correct answer that he had never thought of himself.
"Now Gomer, listen carefully: Who killed Abraham Lincoln?"
Gomer looked a little surprised himself, then thought really hard for a minute and finally admitted, "I don't know."
"Well, why don't you go home and work on that one for a while?"
So, Gomer wandered over to the pool hall where his pals were waiting to hear the results of the interview. Gomer was exultant.
"It went great! First day on the job and I'm already working on a murder case!"
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
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