Joke #4798

Mathematics is made of 50 percent formulas, 50 percent proofs, and 50 percent imagination.

A college math professor and his wife are both 60 years old. One evening the wife comes home and finds a note from her husband. It says: "My dear, now that you are 60 years old, there are some things you no longer do for me. I am at the Holiday Inn with my 20-year-old student. Don't bother waiting up for me." He returns home late that night to find a note from his wife: "You, my dear, are also 60 years old and there are also things I need that you're not giving me. So, I am at the Motel 6 with one of your 20-year-old students. Being a math professor, I'm sure you know that 20 goes into 60 way more than 60 goes into 20. So, don't YOU wait up for ME."

A math teacher asks a pupil, what are 3, 5, 7 and 11? The pupil thinks for a moment and then replies, "On 3 there is cartoon network, on 5 we have cartoon network, on 7 dad checks out news-bulletin and the channel that comes by pressing 11 on the remote is FTV, which my brother watches late at night."

Maths and Girls are the most complicated things, but Maths at least has some logic.

There was a blonde who was at an all blonde football game. At halftime she was called down to answer questions to see if she could win $1000. The first question was what is 10 plus 11? She hesitates and says, "hm.. 5!" The host says "No, I'm sorry thats incorrect." All of the blondes in the stadium chanted "Give her another chance, give her another chance!" So the host agrees and said, "Ok how about 5 plus 5." She answers and says "20". Again all the blondes chanted "Give her another chance, give her another chance." So the host agrees again and says, "OK, last chance, what is 2 plus 2." The blonde says "4!" and the audience says "Give her another chance give her another chance!"

The square root of Pain is Chuck Norris.

Son: Dad, it's so cold in here! Father: Go stand in the corner. Son: Why? Father: The corner is 90 degrees.

Teacher: "Who knows 5+5=?" Little Johnny: "11" Teacher: "Take out your hand from trousers pocket and count with your fingers."

Zenophobia: the irrational fear of convergent sequences.

Three professors (a physicist, a chemist, and a statistician) are called in to see their dean. Just as they arrive the dean is called out of his office, leaving the three professors there. The professors see with alarm that there is a fire in the wastebasket. The physicist says, "I know what to do! We must cool down the materials until their temperature is lower than the ignition temperature and then the fire will go out." The chemist says, "No! No! I know what to do! We must cut off the supply of oxygen so that the fire will go out due to lack of one of the reactants." While the physicist and chemist debate what course to take, they both are alarmed to see the statistician running around the room starting other fires. They both scream, "What are you doing?" To which the statistician replies, "Trying to get an adequate sample size."

There is no logical foundation of mathematics, and Gödel has proved it!