Mathematics is made of 50 percent formulas, 50 percent proofs, and 50 percent imagination. 
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If I had only one day left to live, I would live it in my math class: it would seem so much longer.
Chuck Norris can convert kilograms into centimeters.
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What do you get when you put root beer in a square glass?
Beer.
I used to think maths was useless, but then one day I realised that decimals had a point.
Three elderly men are at the doctor for a memory test.
The doctor says to the first man, "What is three times three?"
"274," was his reply.
The doctor says to the second man, "It's your turn. What is three times three?"
"Tuesday," replies the second man.
The doctor says to the third man, "Okay, your turn. What's three times three?"
"Nine," says the third man.
"That's great!" says the doctor. "How did you get that?"
"Simple," says the third man. "I subtracted 274 from Tuesday."
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There is no logical foundation of mathematics, and Gödel has proved it!
I got 99 problems and being upside down ain't one.
Ok wait I got 66 problems.
What happened to the plant in math class?
It grew square roots.