Mathematics is made of 50 percent formulas, 50 percent proofs, and 50 percent imagination. 
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The square root of Pain is Chuck Norris.
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Johnny, if you had 5$ and you asked your father for 3$ more, how many dollars would you have?
I would have five dollars...
You don't know your arithmetic, Johnny...
You don't know my father, Mrs. Mutch...
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There is no logical foundation of mathematics, and Gödel has proved it!
A mathematician is a blind man in a dark room looking for a black cat which isn't there.
On a high school math test, Chuck Norris put down "Violence" as every one of the answers.
He got an A+ on the test because Chuck Norris solves all his problems with Violence.
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There are three kinds of accountants in the world.
Those who can count and those who can't.
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Teacher: "Who knows 5+5=?"
Little Johnny: "11"
Teacher: "Take out your hand from trousers pocket and count with your fingers."
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Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a solar powered calculator?
A: The blonde works in the dark!
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Q: Did you hear that joke about the infinite line?
A: Don’t worry, It doesn’t have a point!
Little Johnny was doing his math homework.
He said to himself, "Two plus five, that son of a bitch is seven. Three plus six, that son of a bitch is nine."
His mother heard what he was saying and gasped, "What are you doing?"
The little boy answered, "I'm doing my math homework."
"And this is how your teacher taught you to do it?" the mother asked.
"Yes," he answered.
Infuriated, the called Little Johnny's teacher the next day, "What are you teaching my son in class?"
The teacher replied, "Right now, we are learning addition."
The mother asked, "And are you teaching them to say two plus two, that son of a bitch is four?"
After the teacher stopped laughing, she answered, "What I taught them was, two plus two, the sum of which is four."
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