What concert costs only 45 cents?
50cent featuring Nickelback.
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What do you call it when Miley Cyrus falls down?
Hoe-Down.
The wrecking ball in the Miley Cyrus video isn't a wrecking ball it's one of Chuck Norris testicles.
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Q: What 80's rock band is banned from New Orleans and why?
A: The Scorpions. Every time they're in town, they rock you like a hurricane.
I was in the restaurant yesterday when I suddenly realized I desperately needed to pass gas.
The music was really, really loud, so I timed my gas with the beat of the music.
After a couple of songs, I started to feel better. I finished my coffee, and noticed that everybody was staring at me...
Then I suddenly remembered that I was listening to my iPod.
Is Snoop serious? Or is Snoop Lion?
I think the best analogy for where we are right now is that America is Elvis Presley - the most beautiful, talented, rebellious nation in the history of Earth.
And now, you're in your Vegas years.
You've squeezed yourself into a white jumpsuit, you're wheezing your way through 'Love Me Tender' and you might be about to pass away bloated on the toilet.
But you're still the King.
I unfollowed Taylor Swift on Twitter...
I'm sure she's gonna write a song about it.
There's a double Decker bus driving down the street full of passengers, blonde and brunette.
On the lower level of the bus, the brunettes are having a good time, talking, laughing, and singing along to the music playing.
On the upper part of the bus, the blondes are seated... they're in a panic.
They're screaming, terrified, and holding onto each other as the bus moves along the street.
Finally, a brunette gets up and walks to the top of the bus to ask what's wrong, and one of the blonde's replies, "what's wrong?!? Well, you'd be screaming too if you didn't have a driver!!!"
What do cows like to listen to?
Moo-sic.