What concert costs only 45 cents?
50cent featuring Nickelback.
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Gordan Ramsey:Theres more smoke in this kitchen than snopp dogg tour bus.
What would it take to reunite the Beatles?
Two more bullets.
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Q: Why can't you give Elsa a balloon?
A: She will "let it go let it go".
What’s a mouse’s favorite record?
Please cheese me!
What do cows like to listen to?
Moo-sic.
I thought I was at a Nicki Minaj concert for 20 minutes before I realized I was just watching a homeless man yell at a pigeon.
A prisoner at the Edmonton Max started training a large fly to do tricks.
For years, for thousands of hours, he worked with the insect.
It learned to walk across a miniature high wire, ride a tiny one-wheel bike, balance on a pair of stilts and sing songs from Phantom of the opera.
"When you and I get out of here," the jailbird said to the fly "we’re going to tour the nightspots and make a fortune."
Finally the day arrived.
Fly safely tucked away in his pocket, (inside its matchbox home), the ex-con made his way to a bar to celebrate.
At the bar, he brought out his trick fly.
On cue, it started moonwalking.
"What about this fly, eh?" he said to the bartender.
In one swift motion, the bartender reached for his copy of the newspaper The edmonton sun, rolled it up and squished the fly with a mighty swipe.
"Glad you saw it," muttered the bartender. "Blasted things are everywhere."
Every time you're sad, just remember that somewhere out there a tree grew for years and years, but was then destroyed and became material for a Justin Bieber notebook.
J: What did Miley Cyrus eat for Thanksgiving day?
A: TWERKY!
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Chuck Norris is the reason why George Michael is never gonna dance again.
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