What are two reasons why men don't mind their own business? 1) No mind. 2) No business.
Did you hear about the man who spent too much of his company's money on Viagra? Now he's hard up.
A woman’s husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she stayed by his bedside every single day. When he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer. As she sat by him, he said, “You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business failed, you were there. When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the house, you gave me support. When my health started failing, you were still by my side… You know what?” “What dear?” She asked gently. “I think you bring me bad luck.”
John it’s alright muttering a few words in the church and finding yourself married, but if you mutter a few words in your sleep you might find yourself divorced.
What does a man consider a seven course meal? A hot dog and a six pack.
A businessman tells his friend that his company is looking for a new accountant. His friend asks, "Didn't your company hire a new accountant a few weeks ago?" The businessman replies, "That's the accountant we're looking for."
Why is it dangerous to tell the husband to go and change the son? Two hours later he comes back with a baby girl.
Q. How many honest, intelligent, caring men in the world does it take to do the dishes? A. Both of them.
What do a clitoris, an anniversary, and a toilet have in common? Men always miss them.
"The auditors have just left, sir." "Did they check the books?" "Very thoroughly." "What did they say?" "They want 15% to keep quiet."
Dad: Hey son want to hear a joke? Son: Yeah! Dad: Pussy. Son: I don't get it. Dad: Exactly...