Joke #1839

fi yuo cna raed tihs whit no porlbem, yuo aer smrat. Shaer ti whit yuor fienrds.
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has 50.76 % from 333 votes. More jokes about: health

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What do you get if you cross a cow with a tension headache? A bad mood.
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has 54.59 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal, health
You are in my heart, you are in my blood, you are in all my body. Alas, my doc says: "You are a parasite!"
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has 68.25 % from 156 votes. More jokes about: doctor, flirt, health, mean, romantic
There was three people approaching the gates of heaven But there was only one place left. The gate keeper asked the first man what happened to him because the one with the worst death would go inn. The first man said: "Well imagine that I expected my wife was having an affair, so I got home early to surprise her. I found her in the bathroom with a towel round her so I knew she wasn't having a shower so I search the apartment and found 10 fingers hanging from the window sill. So I started bashing away at them. When he fell god must have loved him, because he lived. So I threw a refrigerator at him. After all the excitement I died of a heart attack." That's horrific said the gate keeper, he asked the second man how he died and he said. "Well imagine this I was riding one of those stationary bike on the top of our apartment building but it went wrong I feel down and grabbed some ones window sill. Then some idiot started bashing ar my fingers then I fell but god must have loved me because i lived then -SHANNOOOWWWW- a refrigerator plunged down at me" That is to horrific. He asked the third man how he died and he said. "Well imagine that I was naked in a refrigerator..."
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has 84.75 % from 229 votes. More jokes about: death, health, heaven, life, wife
A woman runs into a doctor’s office and says “DOCTOR! DOCTOR! You have to help me! Everywhere I touch on my body it hurts!” The doctor replied, “Show me.” So the woman poked her ankle and screamed of pain. Then she poked her knee and yelled OW. She poked her forehead and screamed again. She was about to continue when the doctor said, “That’s enough, let me think this over.” He thought for about a minute and said “I think I know what your problem is. You broke your finger.”
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has 75.58 % from 103 votes. More jokes about: doctor, health, women
Doctor to Patient: "Don’t worry about your heart. It will function as long as you live."
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has 75.90 % from 70 votes. More jokes about: black humor, doctor, health
A man went to visit his doctor. “Doc, my arm hurts bad. Can you check it out please?” the man pleads. The doctor rolls up the man’s sleeve and suddenly hears the arm talk. “Hello, Doctor, says the arm. “Could you lend me twenty bucks please? I’m desperate!” “Aha!" says the doctor, "I see the problem. Your arm is broke!”
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has 65.48 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: doctor, health, money
A man goes into the hospital for a vasectomy. Before the procedure a very attractive nurse comes in and takes his vitals, then tells him to take all of his clothes off. When he is fully undressed she instructs him to lie down on the table. The man obeys. The nurse then takes all of her clothes off and climbs on top and has her way with him. Upon the completion of the act the man catches his breath and asks what that was all about. The nurse informs the patient that studies have shown that before a vasectomy if the man has an ejaculation, he will be more relaxed and that the vasectomy is easier for the surgeon to locate and sever, thereby making the surgery safer, more efficient and quicker. The nurse then wheels the patient to the operating room. While they are going down the hall the patient looks through a window to the right and sees six men in a room masturbating. Curious, the man ask “What are they doing in there”? The nurse responds, “They are getting vasectomies too, but you have Blue Cross and they have Obama Care..”
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has 74.66 % from 254 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, dirty, health, hospital, masturbation
AIDS Can't Kill Chuck Norris.
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has 40.09 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, health
Chuck Norris once round house kicked a fat kid in the stomach and his foot print stayed their until the kid lost the weight.
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has 30.80 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, fat, health, kids
Drink water, let's surprise the liver!
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has 76.89 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, drunk, health