Chuck Norris never suffers from a heart attack. His heart is too smart to not attack him.
Chuck Norris was once tested for steroids. The results came back positive. When confronted with this information, Chuck Norris chuckled and said, "Of course, what do you think they make steroids from?"
A few guys tried to follow Chuck Norris during a light workout while he was vacationing in Hawaii. It's now called the Ironman Triathlon.
If you carefully examine your health insurance policy, you will see that there is no cover for "Chuck Norris related incidents".
Chuck Norris once caught AIDS... but then he let it go.
Chuck Norris once caught a cold, then he killed it!
Chuck Norris once caught the Ebola virus, it's been on the run ever since.
Chuck Norris' pulse-rate is measured on the Richter Scale.
If Chuck Norris had to he could give CPR to himself.
When Chuck Norris has a heart attack, he attacks back.
Every phobia known to man has a phobia of Chuck Norris.