Joke #1861

What fits your schedule better...... Exercising 1 hour a day or being fat 24 hours a day?

Yo mama so fat it took nationwide 3 years to get on her side.

Yo mama so fat when she tossed in her sleep she woke up in another time zone.

I spotted several pairs of men's Levi's at a garage sale. They were sizes 30, 31, and 32, but I was looking for size 33. So I asked the owner if he had a pair. He shook his head. "I'm still wearing the 33s," he said. "Come back next year."

Yo mama so fat she needed two wrist watches cause shes in two time zones.

Single and ready to get nervous around anyone I find attractive.

Yo mama is so fat it took her three whole months to get through a door.

"Yo momma so fat she stands in two time zones!"

Yo momma is so fat, I took a picture of her last Christmas and its still printing.

For thirty years, Officer Johnson had arrived at the police station at 9 A.M. on the dot ready for duty. He had never missed a day and was never late. Consequently, when on one particular day 9 A.M. passed without Johnson's arrival in the briefing room, it caused a major sensation. All announcements and patrol assignments ceased and the sergeant himself, looking at his watch and muttering, stormed out into the corridor. Finally, precisely at ten, Johnson showed up, his uniform dusty and torn, his nametag missing, his face scratched and bruised, his shield bent. He limped painfully to the time clock, punched in, and said, aware that all eyes were upon him, "I tripped and rolled down two flights of stairs. Nearly freakin' killed myself." And the sergeant said, "And to roll down two flights of stairs took you a whole hour?"

Yo mama is so fat every time she sits down they add another country to the map.