Joke #1861

What fits your schedule better...... Exercising 1 hour a day or being fat 24 hours a day?

Yo mama so fat it took nationwide 3 years to get on her side.

Yo mama so fat when she tossed in her sleep she woke up in another time zone.

I spotted several pairs of men's Levi's at a garage sale. They were sizes 30, 31, and 32, but I was looking for size 33. So I asked the owner if he had a pair. He shook his head. "I'm still wearing the 33s," he said. "Come back next year."

Yo mama so fat she needed two wrist watches cause shes in two time zones.

Single and ready to get nervous around anyone I find attractive.

Yo mama is so fat it took her three whole months to get through a door.

"Yo momma so fat she stands in two time zones!"

Yo momma is so fat, I took a picture of her last Christmas and its still printing.

In the winter of 1926, Thelma Goldstein from Chicago treated herself to her first real vacation in Florida. Being unfamiliar with the area, she wandered into a restricted hotel in North Miami. "Excuse me," she said to the manager. "My name is Mrs. Goldstein, and I’d like a small room for two weeks." "I’m awfully sorry," he replied, "but all of our rooms are occupied." Just as he said that, a man came down and checked out. "What luck," said Mrs. Goldstein. "Now there’s a room. "Not so fast, Madam. I’m sorry, but this hotel is restricted. No Jews allowed." "Jewish? Who’s Jewish? I happen to be Catholic." "I find that hard to believe. Let me ask you, who was the Son of God?" "Jesus, Son of Mary." "Where was he born?" "In a stable." "And why was he born in a stable?" "Because a schmuck like you wouldn’t let a Jew rent a room in his hotel!"

Yo mama is so fat they thought her butt was a new planet.