Joke #1917

Question: Why do women have smaller feet than men? Answer: So they can stand closer to the kitchen sink.
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has 47.14 % from 55 votes. More jokes about: women

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While reading the newspaper, Walter came across an article about a beautiful actress and model who married a boxer who was not noted for his IQ. "I'll never understand," he said to his wife, "why the biggest jerks get the most attractive wives." His wife replied: "Thank you, dear!"
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has 79.52 % from 59 votes. More jokes about: beauty, communication, men, stupid, women
Q: How do you fix a woman's watch? A: You don't...there's a clock on the oven!
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has 42.61 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: women
What is a buttress? A female goat.
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has 45.58 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: animal, women
A woman walks into her accountant’s office and tells him that she needs to file her taxes. The accountant says, “Before we begin, I’ll need to ask a few questions.” He gets her name, address, social security number, etc. and then asks, “What is your occupation?” The woman replies, “I’m a whore.” The accountant balks and says, “No, no, no. That will never work. That is much too crass. Let’s try to rephrase that.” The woman, “Ok, I’m a prostitute.” “No, that is still too crude. Try again.” They both think for a minute, then the woman states, “I’m a chicken farmer.” The accountant asks, “What does chicken farming have to do with being a whore or a prostitute?” “Well, I raised over 5,000 cocks last year.”
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has 82.31 % from 534 votes. More jokes about: accountant, dirty, tax, women
Q: What was the first word out of Adam's mouth when he first saw Eve? A: Whoa man! Thus, the word "woman" was created.
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has 69.55 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: bible, communication, men, women
A couple of women were playing golf one sunny Saturday morning. The first of the twosome teed-off and watched in horror as the ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole. Indeed, the ball hit one of the men and he immediately clasped his hands together at his crotch, fell to the ground and proceeded to roll around in agony. The woman rushed down to the man and immediately began to apologize. She then explained that she was a physical therapist and offered to help ease his "pain." "Please allow me to help, I am a physical therapist and I know I could relieve your pain if you'd just allow me!" She told him earnestly. "ohh No, I'll be alright...I'll be fine in a few minutes," he replied as he remained in the fetal position still clasping his hands together at his crotch. The woman takes it upon herself to begin to "ease his pain". She began to massage his groin. After a few moments she asked, "does that feel better?" The man looked up at her and replied, "yes, that feels pretty good ... but my thumb still hurts like hell!"
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has 59.93 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: golf, sport, women
What do you call a woman who has lost 95% of her intelligence? Divorced.
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has 35.01 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: divorce, women
Q: If your wife is shouting at the front door and your dog is barking at the back door, who do you let in first? A: The dog, of course. At least he'll shut up after you let him in.
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has 84.75 % from 868 votes. More jokes about: animal, wife, women
Lisa needs brain surgery and figures its easier to buy a new brain. She asks the doctor what he has on sale. "Well you're in luck I have two in stock, a man's brain for $1000, and a woman's for $100." Surprised she asks why the price difference? "Generally women brains run cheaper because they come to us used!"
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has 52.93 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: women
What kind of bees make milk instead of honey? Boobies.
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has 73.74 % from 186 votes. More jokes about: animal, food, women