Question: Why do women have smaller feet than men?
Answer: So they can stand closer to the kitchen sink.
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2 girls meet:
"Me & my husband are no longer together..."
"Why?"
"Well, could you live with a person who smokes weed, drinks, has no job and always cusses?"
"No, of course I couldn't!"
"Well he couldn't either!"
A man is in a bar and has one too many drinks.
This beautiful lady sits down next to him.
He turns to her and says "Hey how bout it.
You and me, gettin it on. I've got a couple dollars and it looks like you could use a little money."
She stands up and says, "What makes you think I charge by the inch."
Q: Why is the space between a woman's breasts and her hips called a waist?
A: Because you could easily fit another pair of tits in there.
Q: How many men does it take to open a beer?
A: None, it better be open when she brings it to you.
Q:Why did the woman cross the road?
A I don't know, the real question is, why was she out of the kitchen?
A man meets a gorgeous woman in a bar.
They talk, they connect, and they end up leaving together.
They get back to her place, and as she shows him around, he notices that her bedroom is completely packed with teddy bears.
Hundreds of small bears are on a shelf all the way along the floor, medium sized ones are on a shelf a little higher, and huge bears are on the top shelf along the wall.
The man is kind of surprised by the collection, especially because it’s so extensive, but he decides not to mention this to her.
She turns to him…they kiss…then they rip each other’s clothes off and romp around the room all night.
After an intense night of passion, as they are lying there together in the afterglow, the man rolls over and asks, smiling, “Well, how’d I do?”
The woman says, “You can have any prize from the bottom shelf.”
Why do men ask for a woman's hand in marriage?
Because they are tired of using their own.
Men want the same thing from their underwear that they want from women: a little bit of support, and a little bit of freedom.
Q: Why was the blonde girl's belly button bruised?
A: Because blonde men are dumb too.
Three women talk about their husband's performance as lovers.
The first woman says, "My husband is a marriage counselor, so he always buys me flowers and candy before we make love."
The second woman says, "My husband is a motorcycle mechanic. He likes to play rough and use leather sometimes."
The third woman shakes her head and says, "My husband works for an Internet company. He just sits on the edge of the bed and tells me how great it's going to be when I get it."