The mother of a problem child was advised by a psychiatrist, "You are far too upset and worried about your son. I suggest you take tranquilizers regularly."
On her next visit the psychiatrist asked, "Have the tranquilizers calmed you down?"
"Yes", the boy's mother answered.
"And how is your son now?" the psychiatrist asked.
"Who cares?" the mother replied.
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Q: Whats the most worthless thing on a woman's body?
A: A Mexican.
I like my women how I like my laptop.
Sat on my lap, turned on & completely virus free.
Q: Who is the most skillful goal keeper in the world?
A: All women; they never allow any ball enters.
My sister was with two men in one night.
She could hardly walk after that.
Can you imagine?
Two dinners!
Q: Why can women play hockey?
A: Because they have to change their pads after every period.
Chuck Norris impregnates women without having sex with them.
Vote:
What do they call a woman who works as hard as a man?
Answer: “Lazy.”
They were three men discussing how to make their wives to tell them if they cheated on them.
The first guy says: "I go home after work at night, lie on the couch, turn on the television and ask: 'Woman you cheated on me today!'
'Who, me my husband? Could I ever do such a thing?'
Pissed off as I am, I get up, put her down, punch her and in the end she can’t take it anymore and admits: 'I cheated on you with Nick…'"
The secong guy says: "I do exactly the same thing. I punch her and finally she says: 'I cheated on you with Jake…'"
The third guy says: "I have no problem at all. I go home, undress, put the sweat pants on, light my cigarette on, I go out to the balcony, see the neighbor spreading clothes and shout at her: 'Mary! You are a whore!'
And then she starts saying: 'I’m a whore? Or your wife who sleeps with John, Mark, Peter…!'"
How many men does it take to open a beer?
None.
It should be opened by the time she brings it.