Joke #2018

Q: What's the difference between an in-law and an outlaw? A: Outlaws are wanted.
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has 63.00 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: lawyer

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A Georgian man sits in the dock at the court, with his neck bended down. The judge: "Why did you rape the girl?" "I liked her." "Why did you raped the boy?" "I liked him." "Sir, why don't you look to my eyes when you talk to me?" "I'm afraid I'll like you…"
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What do attorneys use for birth control? Their personalities.
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has 70.32 % from 64 votes. More jokes about: kids, lawyer, sex
What would you do if your were in a large room, all sealed up, no windows, the door was locked, and there were 5 hungry tigers, 32 vultures, 17 spitting cobras, 213 tarantulas, 1 laywer, and you had a gun with only two bullets? Shoot the lawyer twice.
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has 61.25 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: animal, lawyer
How are a lawyer and a prostitute different? The prostitute stops fucking you after you’re dead.
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has 81.43 % from 636 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, lawyer
A man took a trip out West after a harrowing divorce proceeding. He stopped in a bar, and after a few drinks, stated to no one in particular, "Lawyers are horses' asses." One of the locals spoke up on hearing this: "Mister, you'd better watch what you say. You're in horse country."
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has 75.25 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: bar, divorce, lawyer, travel, vulgar
Why did New Jersey get all the toxic waste and California all the lawyers? New Jersey got to pick first.
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has 44.24 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
How come sharks don’t attack lawyers? From professional courtesy.
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has 22.04 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: animal, lawyer
Q: How many lawyers does it take to build a wall? A: Depends on how deep you stack them.
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has 29.93 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
A lawyer and a basketball player want to make a deal. Suggest a place where both of them would be happy to meet. Of course, they should at the court.
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has 32.17 % from 54 votes. More jokes about: communication, lawyer, sport
Q: Officer, did you see my client fleeing the scene? A: No sir, but I subsequently observed a person matching the description of the offender running several blocks away.
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has 42.03 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: lawyer