Joke #2018

Q: What's the difference between an in-law and an outlaw? A: Outlaws are wanted.
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has 63.75 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: lawyer

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The lawyer’s motto: a man is not guilty until he demonstrates he is out of money...
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has 63.75 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: lawyer, money
Taking his seat in his chambers, the judge faces the opposing lawyers. ‘Both of you have given me a bribe,’ he says. ‘You, Tom, gave me £15,000. And you, Harry, gave me £10,000.’ The judge reaches into his pocket, pulls out a cheque, and hands it to Tom. ‘I’m returning £5,000, and we’ll now decide this case solely on its merits.’
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has 71.52 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
It is better to enter the mouth of a tiger than a court of law.
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has 54.97 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: animal, death, lawyer
What would you do if your were in a large room, all sealed up, no windows, the door was locked, and there were 5 hungry tigers, 32 vultures, 17 spitting cobras, 213 tarantulas, 1 laywer, and you had a gun with only two bullets? Shoot the lawyer twice.
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has 60.15 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: animal, lawyer
What’s the difference between a dead lawyer in the road and a dead skunk in the road? There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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has 24.92 % from 8 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
A witness to an automobile accident was testifying. The following exchange took place between the lawyer and the witness: The lawyer: "Did you actually see the accident?" The witness: "Yes, sir." The lawyer: "How far away were you when the accident happened?" The witness: "Thirty-one feet, six and one quarter inches." The lawyer (thinking he’d trap the witness): "Well, sir, will you tell the jury how you knew it was exactly that distance?" The witness: "Because when the accident happened I took out a tape and measured it. I knew some stupid lawyer would ask me that question."
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has 79.06 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: car, lawyer
Q: Officer, who provided this description? A: The officer who responded to the scene.
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has 19.47 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
A man walks into a bar with a alligator. He says to the bartender, ‘Do you serve lawyers here?’ ‘Sure do,’ replies the bartender. ‘Good,’ says the man. ‘Give me a beer, and a lawyer for my ’gator.’
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has 66.45 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
A man is at his lawyer's funeral and and is surprised by the turnout for this one man. He turns to the people around him. "Why are you all at this man's funeral?" A man turns towards him and says, "We're all clients." "And you ALL came to pay your respects? How touching." "No, we came to make sure he was dead."
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has 71.29 % from 58 votes. More jokes about: death, funeral, lawyer
Q: What did the lawyer name his daughter? A: Sue. Q: And his son? A: Bill.
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has 72.54 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: family, kids, lawyer, money