Joke #2065

How do you stop an Iraqi tank? "Just shoot the guy that's pushing it!"
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has 66.15 % from 93 votes. More jokes about: black humor, military

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A new soldier was on sentry duty at the main gate. His orders were clear. No car was to enter unless it had a special sticker on the windshield. A big Army car came up with a general seated in the back. The sentry said, "Halt, who goes there?" The chauffeur, a corporal, says, "General Wheeler." "I'm sorry, I can't let you through. You've got to have a sticker on the windshield." The general said, "Drive on!" The sentry said, "Hold it! You really can't come through. I have orders to shoot if you try driving in without a sticker." The general repeated, "I'm telling you, son, drive on!" The sentry walked up to the rear window and said, "General, I'm new at this. Do I shoot you or the driver?"
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has 81.95 % from 95 votes. More jokes about: black humor, car, death, management, military
There's some soldiers in Vietnam. And they've been pinned down in their trench for days. Finally one guy says,"Fuck this I really have to pee guys. Lay down covering fire, i'll run into the bushes. When I'm done I'll give a signal and you can give me covering fire while i run back." So they lay down fire, and he runs off into the jungle. But he's gone for a good half an hour, they're finally convinced that he's been murdered by Charlie when they hear the signal. So they lay down fire and he sprints out of the jungle and leaps back into the trench. So obviously they're pretty confused. They ask "what the hell took you so long man?" The guy says, "well i was just finishing up my business, when I met this beautiful Vietnamese girl, and we just started having sex right there. we did every position imaginable, missionary, doggy style, everything. It was great." One of his buddies asks "Well did you get any head?" He replies "There was no head."
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has 69.73 % from 101 votes. More jokes about: black humor, military, sex
Why did Osama Bin Laden kill his wife? When she spread her legs he saw bush.
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has 68.97 % from 91 votes. More jokes about: black humor, military, political
In the war, a German ship suspected that they were being tracked by an Irish submarine. Unfortunately, they had used up all of their depth-charges. As an alternative, one of their Divers decided to swim down to the submarine and knock on the door.
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has 67.50 % from 58 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, ethnic, military, war
One of my friends returned from Afghanistan and I asked him if he is going to the party tomorrow. He said he can't walk.
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has 53.55 % from 97 votes. More jokes about: black humor, health, military, party, war
Q: What do you call an afghan virgin A: Never bin laid on.
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has 39.91 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: black humor, military
When you're driving and Nicki Minaj is on all 3 radio stations at the exact same time, there's nothing left to do except crash your car.
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has 60.88 % from 68 votes. More jokes about: black humor, car, celebrity, music
A priests asks the convicted murderer at the electric chair, "Do you have any last requests?" "Yes," replies the murderer. "Can you please hold my hand?"
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has 83.90 % from 280 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, priest
A woman gave her two sons to different families for adoption. One goes to an Egyptian family and called Amal. The second child goes to Spain and is called Juan. Many years later, Juan sends his mother a photo of himself. She turns to her sister saying that she wished that she had a photo of her other son. The sister responded "Hey, they are identical twins. If you have seen Juan, you have seen Amal."
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has 66.16 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: black humor, family
"Where does the Colonel keep his armies?" "Up his sleevies!"
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has 17.45 % from 68 votes. More jokes about: military