Joke #2065

How do you stop an Iraqi tank? "Just shoot the guy that's pushing it!"
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has 65.45 % from 91 votes. More jokes about: black humor, military

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A new soldier was on sentry duty at the main gate. His orders were clear. No car was to enter unless it had a special sticker on the windshield. A big Army car came up with a general seated in the back. The sentry said, "Halt, who goes there?" The chauffeur, a corporal, says, "General Wheeler." "I'm sorry, I can't let you through. You've got to have a sticker on the windshield." The general said, "Drive on!" The sentry said, "Hold it! You really can't come through. I have orders to shoot if you try driving in without a sticker." The general repeated, "I'm telling you, son, drive on!" The sentry walked up to the rear window and said, "General, I'm new at this. Do I shoot you or the driver?"
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has 81.00 % from 90 votes. More jokes about: black humor, car, death, management, military
There's some soldiers in Vietnam. And they've been pinned down in their trench for days. Finally one guy says,"Fuck this I really have to pee guys. Lay down covering fire, i'll run into the bushes. When I'm done I'll give a signal and you can give me covering fire while i run back." So they lay down fire, and he runs off into the jungle. But he's gone for a good half an hour, they're finally convinced that he's been murdered by Charlie when they hear the signal. So they lay down fire and he sprints out of the jungle and leaps back into the trench. So obviously they're pretty confused. They ask "what the hell took you so long man?" The guy says, "well i was just finishing up my business, when I met this beautiful Vietnamese girl, and we just started having sex right there. we did every position imaginable, missionary, doggy style, everything. It was great." One of his buddies asks "Well did you get any head?" He replies "There was no head."
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has 69.16 % from 99 votes. More jokes about: black humor, military, sex
In the war, a German ship suspected that they were being tracked by an Irish submarine. Unfortunately, they had used up all of their depth-charges. As an alternative, one of their Divers decided to swim down to the submarine and knock on the door.
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has 68.38 % from 56 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, ethnic, military, war
Why did Osama Bin Laden kill his wife? When she spread her legs he saw bush.
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has 68.32 % from 89 votes. More jokes about: black humor, military, political
One of my friends returned from Afghanistan and I asked him if he is going to the party tomorrow. He said he can't walk.
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has 53.26 % from 94 votes. More jokes about: black humor, health, military, party, war
Q: What do you call an afghan virgin A: Never bin laid on.
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has 39.74 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: black humor, military
Q: How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb ? A: None. They can't turn them on anyway.
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has 37.92 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: military
A man in Amsterdam feels the need to confess, so he goes to his priest. "Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. During WWII, I hid a refugee in my attic." "Well," answers the priest, "that's not a sin."' "But I made him agree to pay me 20 guilders for every week he stayed." "I admit that wasn't good, but you did it for a good cause." "Oh, thank you, Father. That eases my mind. I have one more question." "What is that, my son?" "Do I have to tell him the war is over?"
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has 78.64 % from 344 votes. More jokes about: geography, military, priest, sex, war
Fred and DooDah go to their favorite lake to fish. After getting out on the water, DooDah hooks a huge fish, which pulls him overboard, and he drowns. Fred is brokenhearted and goes to tell DooDah's wife the news. She opens the door and hears Fred sing: "Guess who drowned in the lake today? DooDah! DooDah!"
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has 31.72 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: black humor, fish, wife
Q: What's the difference between Aeroflot and the Scud Missile ? A: Aeroflot has killed more people.
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has 46.20 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: military