Joke #2392

Q: What do you call an afghan virgin A: Never bin laid on.
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has 39.74 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: black humor, military

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A new soldier was on sentry duty at the main gate. His orders were clear. No car was to enter unless it had a special sticker on the windshield. A big Army car came up with a general seated in the back. The sentry said, "Halt, who goes there?" The chauffeur, a corporal, says, "General Wheeler." "I'm sorry, I can't let you through. You've got to have a sticker on the windshield." The general said, "Drive on!" The sentry said, "Hold it! You really can't come through. I have orders to shoot if you try driving in without a sticker." The general repeated, "I'm telling you, son, drive on!" The sentry walked up to the rear window and said, "General, I'm new at this. Do I shoot you or the driver?"
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has 80.58 % from 88 votes. More jokes about: black humor, car, death, management, military
There's some soldiers in Vietnam. And they've been pinned down in their trench for days. Finally one guy says,"Fuck this I really have to pee guys. Lay down covering fire, i'll run into the bushes. When I'm done I'll give a signal and you can give me covering fire while i run back." So they lay down fire, and he runs off into the jungle. But he's gone for a good half an hour, they're finally convinced that he's been murdered by Charlie when they hear the signal. So they lay down fire and he sprints out of the jungle and leaps back into the trench. So obviously they're pretty confused. They ask "what the hell took you so long man?" The guy says, "well i was just finishing up my business, when I met this beautiful Vietnamese girl, and we just started having sex right there. we did every position imaginable, missionary, doggy style, everything. It was great." One of his buddies asks "Well did you get any head?" He replies "There was no head."
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has 69.16 % from 99 votes. More jokes about: black humor, military, sex
Why did Osama Bin Laden kill his wife? When she spread her legs he saw bush.
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has 68.32 % from 89 votes. More jokes about: black humor, military, political
In the war, a German ship suspected that they were being tracked by an Irish submarine. Unfortunately, they had used up all of their depth-charges. As an alternative, one of their Divers decided to swim down to the submarine and knock on the door.
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has 67.85 % from 55 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, ethnic, military, war
How do you stop an Iraqi tank? "Just shoot the guy that's pushing it!"
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has 65.45 % from 91 votes. More jokes about: black humor, military
One of my friends returned from Afghanistan and I asked him if he is going to the party tomorrow. He said he can't walk.
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has 53.89 % from 93 votes. More jokes about: black humor, health, military, party, war
When you were in the gang then, you just had to look cool, just walk around and look like you were tough. Someone started talking about fighting -- 'No, man, I've got to go home.'
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has 27.61 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: black humor
An Israeli soldier who just enlisted asked the Commanding Officer for a 3-day pass. The CO says “Are you crazy? You just join the Israeli army, and you already want a 3-day pass? You must do something spectacular for that recognition!” So the soldier comes back a day later in an Arab tank! The CO was so impressed, he asked “How did you do it?” “Well, I jumped in a tank, and went toward the border with the Arabs. I approached the border, and saw an Arab tank. I put my white flag up, the Arab tank put his white flag up. I said to the Arab soldier, “Do you want to get a three-day pass? So we exchanged tanks!”
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has 37.92 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: military
Why did Hitler go to the eye doctor? Because he can Nazi.
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has 49.25 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: black humor
They say the surest way to a man's heart is through the stomach. But personally, I find going through the ribcage a lot easier.
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has 68.50 % from 60 votes. More jokes about: black humor, food, love, men