Joke #2392

Q: What do you call an afghan virgin A: Never bin laid on.
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has 39.11 % from 54 votes. More jokes about: black humor, military

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A new soldier was on sentry duty at the main gate. His orders were clear. No car was to enter unless it had a special sticker on the windshield. A big Army car came up with a general seated in the back. The sentry said, "Halt, who goes there?" The chauffeur, a corporal, says, "General Wheeler." "I'm sorry, I can't let you through. You've got to have a sticker on the windshield." The general said, "Drive on!" The sentry said, "Hold it! You really can't come through. I have orders to shoot if you try driving in without a sticker." The general repeated, "I'm telling you, son, drive on!" The sentry walked up to the rear window and said, "General, I'm new at this. Do I shoot you or the driver?"
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has 81.83 % from 101 votes. More jokes about: black humor, car, death, management, military
There's some soldiers in Vietnam. And they've been pinned down in their trench for days. Finally one guy says,"Fuck this I really have to pee guys. Lay down covering fire, i'll run into the bushes. When I'm done I'll give a signal and you can give me covering fire while i run back." So they lay down fire, and he runs off into the jungle. But he's gone for a good half an hour, they're finally convinced that he's been murdered by Charlie when they hear the signal. So they lay down fire and he sprints out of the jungle and leaps back into the trench. So obviously they're pretty confused. They ask "what the hell took you so long man?" The guy says, "well i was just finishing up my business, when I met this beautiful Vietnamese girl, and we just started having sex right there. we did every position imaginable, missionary, doggy style, everything. It was great." One of his buddies asks "Well did you get any head?" He replies "There was no head."
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has 70.55 % from 104 votes. More jokes about: black humor, military, sex
Why did Osama Bin Laden kill his wife? When she spread her legs he saw bush.
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has 68.97 % from 91 votes. More jokes about: black humor, military, political
In the war, a German ship suspected that they were being tracked by an Irish submarine. Unfortunately, they had used up all of their depth-charges. As an alternative, one of their Divers decided to swim down to the submarine and knock on the door.
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has 67.50 % from 58 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, ethnic, military, war
How do you stop an Iraqi tank? "Just shoot the guy that's pushing it!"
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has 64.58 % from 95 votes. More jokes about: black humor, military
One of my friends returned from Afghanistan and I asked him if he is going to the party tomorrow. He said he can't walk.
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has 50.17 % from 103 votes. More jokes about: black humor, health, military, party, war
A drill sergeant had just chewed out one of his cadets, and as he was walking away, he turned to the cadet and said, “I guess when I die you’ll come and dance on my grave.” The cadet replied, “Not me, Sarge…no sir! I promised myself that when I got out of the Army I’d never stand in another line!”
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How do you stop a baby crawling round in circles ? Nail its other hand to the floor.
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has 36.16 % from 85 votes. More jokes about: baby, black humor
Hey dad, how do you feel about abortion? "Ask your sister" "I don't have a..."
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has 79.99 % from 121 votes. More jokes about: black humor
During the Iraq war, a Lieutenant asked the soldier why he was falling back during a really fierce battle, "Didn't you hear me say that we're outnumbered 4 to 1 ?" The soldier replied, "I got my four Sir."
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has 65.94 % from 79 votes. More jokes about: military, war