Joke #2392

Q: What do you call an afghan virgin A: Never bin laid on.
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has 39.91 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: black humor, military

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A new soldier was on sentry duty at the main gate. His orders were clear. No car was to enter unless it had a special sticker on the windshield. A big Army car came up with a general seated in the back. The sentry said, "Halt, who goes there?" The chauffeur, a corporal, says, "General Wheeler." "I'm sorry, I can't let you through. You've got to have a sticker on the windshield." The general said, "Drive on!" The sentry said, "Hold it! You really can't come through. I have orders to shoot if you try driving in without a sticker." The general repeated, "I'm telling you, son, drive on!" The sentry walked up to the rear window and said, "General, I'm new at this. Do I shoot you or the driver?"
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has 81.58 % from 93 votes. More jokes about: black humor, car, death, management, military
There's some soldiers in Vietnam. And they've been pinned down in their trench for days. Finally one guy says,"Fuck this I really have to pee guys. Lay down covering fire, i'll run into the bushes. When I'm done I'll give a signal and you can give me covering fire while i run back." So they lay down fire, and he runs off into the jungle. But he's gone for a good half an hour, they're finally convinced that he's been murdered by Charlie when they hear the signal. So they lay down fire and he sprints out of the jungle and leaps back into the trench. So obviously they're pretty confused. They ask "what the hell took you so long man?" The guy says, "well i was just finishing up my business, when I met this beautiful Vietnamese girl, and we just started having sex right there. we did every position imaginable, missionary, doggy style, everything. It was great." One of his buddies asks "Well did you get any head?" He replies "There was no head."
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has 69.45 % from 100 votes. More jokes about: black humor, military, sex
In the war, a German ship suspected that they were being tracked by an Irish submarine. Unfortunately, they had used up all of their depth-charges. As an alternative, one of their Divers decided to swim down to the submarine and knock on the door.
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has 68.89 % from 57 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, ethnic, military, war
Why did Osama Bin Laden kill his wife? When she spread her legs he saw bush.
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has 68.65 % from 90 votes. More jokes about: black humor, military, political
How do you stop an Iraqi tank? "Just shoot the guy that's pushing it!"
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has 65.80 % from 92 votes. More jokes about: black humor, military
One of my friends returned from Afghanistan and I asked him if he is going to the party tomorrow. He said he can't walk.
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has 53.55 % from 97 votes. More jokes about: black humor, health, military, party, war
Q: What was Hitler's favorite drink? A: Concentrated jews.
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has 66.50 % from 338 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, Hitler, jewish, morbid
The soldier serving overseas and far from home was annoyed and upset when his girl wrote breaking off their engagement and asking for her photograph back. A creative fellow, he went out and collected from his buddies all the unwanted photographs of women that he could find, bundled them all together and sent them to her with a note stating the following: "Dear Mary, I can not remember which one is you ... please keep YOUR photo and return the others!"
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has 64.28 % from 49 votes. More jokes about: military
A crusty old Sergeant Major found himself at a gala event, hosted by a local liberal arts college. There was no shortage of extremely young, idealistic ladies in attendance, one of whom approached the Sergeant Major for conversation. She said, "Excuse me, Sergeant Major, but you seem to be a very serious man. Is something bothering you?" "Negative, ma'am," the Sergeant Major said, "Just serious by nature." The young lady looked at his awards and decorations and said, "It looks like you have seen a lot of action." The Sergeant Major's short reply was, "Yes, ma'am, a lot of action." The young lady, tiring of trying to start up a conversation, said, "You know, you should lighten up a little. Relax and enjoy yourself." The Sergeant Major just stared at her in his serious manner. Finally the young lady said, "You know, I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but when is the last time you had sex?" The Sergeant Major looked at her and replied, "1955." She said, "Well, there you are. You really need to chill out and quit taking everything so seriously! I mean, no sex since 1955! Isn't that a little extreme?" The Sergeant Major, glancing at his watch, said in his matter-of-fact voice, "You think so? It's only 2130 now." I LOVE THAT MILITARY TIME!!
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has 85.37 % from 551 votes. More jokes about: military
First cannibal: "I can't find anything to eat!" Second cannibal: "But the jungle's full of people."  First cannibal: "Yes, but they're all very unsavory."
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has 52.18 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: black humor, food